When does someone change from a boyfriend to a partner?

[Samlewis96]

Thought of this when reading another thread. Ones of the replies was that " you don't live together so he's not your partner" So when does someone become a partner. Is it only relying on living together?

After a couple of years of being a boyfriend he becomes a partner, if exclusive/committed relationship.

Doesn't need to involve marriage or living together, in the modern world many men and women have children from previous relationships and may choose not to live together or marry for various reasons. Partner implies a long term commitment to the relationship.

I don't think living together is essential but it is a relationship where you share decisions and where the hope and expectation is that you will be together for the long term.

@Dacadactyl "I feel that being married is the committment he had to make to elevate himself from a boyfriend."

You're assuming that it's his choice....

@weareallcats "Partner makes me cringe. I said boyfriend right up to the day we got married"

What if you hadn't got married?

If someone said "partner", I'd assume same sex or business relationship. Some people use partner for bf or gf so I'd say they are interchangeable.

Agree with previous posters. Partner doesn't really mean anything. Just a pretentious word for bf or gf. My DH was my boyfriend before we married.

I think it’s more to do with your age than anything else. My DH was my boyfriend for ten years (from age 18), even when we lived together. Then fiancé then husband. If I got together with someone now, in my late 40s, I’d probably call them my partner quite quickly.

I’ve never heard a young person refer to their partner as partner!

What name do people suggest I use for the man. Have shared my life with for nearly 40 years?

Whatever the two of you want to call each other.

Boyfriend or partner means the same thing to me. I use the word partner nowadays to describe any relationship I am in, regardless of length of time. Surely it's a matter of choice?

I also tend to use 'partner' in a professional capacity as you never know if someone is in a same-sex relationship.

I’m 19, me and my boyfriend have been together for two years but we don’t live together yet because we’re both at college, I consider him my partner as we have been through a lot of things during the time period we have been dating, unfortunately in most cases. We were close friends before we started dating which changes things a bit I think. We are at each others houses around 5 days a week on average. We’re each others best friends.

But we refer to each other as boyfriend and girlfriend, my mum calls him my partner

DH and I had been seeing each other six months when we met the parents and started referring to each other as partners and not boyfriend/girlfriend. We were in our 30s though (I still am) and had started discussing marriage. We first met in January 2016 (I am not the cause of his divorce), met the parents in July 2016, his divorce was finalised in February 2017, He proposed Easter 2017, moved in together July 2017 and married June 2019. If we make it to September (no reason why we won’t) then we will have been together longer than he was with his first wife.

I think it's you've been together at least 2 years and live together. Just living together after only being with someone for a few months in my mind would still be a boyfriend.

I think I would still be saying boyfriend!

I'm not dictating what I think others should say, only that I don't think I would ever say it personally.

Partner makes me think more of single sex for some reason. And maybe boyfriend could sound a bit teenage...I guess I've probably shied away from using any of them. 'im indoors. Lol.

Who cares? It's not something someone else gets to decide. I often see this on Mumsnet - "he's not your partner, you've only been together for X amount of time". Kindly bugger off, people can use whatever word they want.
I called my husband my partner from quite early on because I wanted to.

Been together for a few years. Don't live together and no intention to, but spend 3/4 nights each week at my house. We are in our 60s. My Gran would have referred to him as a Gentleman Caller. Is this still a thing?

I always think when you live together, a partner is someone you share your life with but aren't married to but still have things that mean if you break up you have to split things (houses, bank accounts, child access). Many people don't marry you can't really call them boyfriend and girlfriend if they've been together for 40 years, have a child and own a home so Partner is used.

Boyfriend/girlfriend seems really childish at 45 so I do think there needs to be something to call that type of thing.

This. I have been with my DH for 7 years married for 4 and we still don't live together for various reasons. Moving in together later this year. Have we not been partners then because we don't live together?

So I didn't have a partner all the way through my 20s whilst raising 2 kids?

Oh I dunno it should be though I'd love a gentleman caller sounds very glamorous 😀

I think it’s an age thing. It’s a bit weird for anyone over about 30 to refer to having a boyfriend.

No it’s not!

The rules say it's only when you've jointly purchased a sofa or fridgefreezer together.