Dd has started running away at bedtime

[Somethingokonnetflixforonce]

Very recent thing, Dd is 5.5 so not little little, now when it’s time for bed, she’ll run out into the garden, deliberately start going on her bike or the trampoline and ignoring me. She gets very giddy and uncontrollable and I end up
losing my temper.
Anyone else’s child do this and how do you cope with it? Tired of getting cross every night

Make sure the door is locked so she can’t get outside for a start.

what’s your bedtime routine like?

Lock the door, or tell her it's bedtime 20 mins before it is and let her go on the trampoline etc whilst you enjoy a hot drink/glass of wine outside now the nights are getting lighter.

Lock the door?!

It’s the patio door and just open as it’s warmer and we come in and out, I can shut it and lock it but she can easily unlock and runs out laughing

Can you remove the keys and hang them out of her reach?

Edit: if your back door locks with a key.

@Sirzy Exactly the same since she was a baby, upstairs, teeth done, two stories, cuddled, lights out

So don't let her in the room with the patio door. Get a bolt on the door and lock her out over bedtime.

It has no keys, it’s just a push up and down patio door-can’t explain it

She's definitely old enough to talk to her about it before bedtime happens. I would explain that it's not nice to runaway from you into the garden like that, and I'd ask her why she does it? If she's just hoping to postpone bedtime then I'd maybe change my bedtime routine so that I warn her 20 minutes beforehand "we're getting ready for bed soon", or give her a choice that's not a choice "do you want to get ready for bed now or in 10 minutes?"

I know it's frustrating, but it's likely a phase (I can't see her running into the garden at 34 when it's bedtime!)

Oh the joys! Have a chat earlier in day about a new plan. Explain you’re tired of this behaviour, has she noticed how mummy feels about it etc? Does she like that? My DD of the same age now realises that on nights that she comes in and wakes me for something trivial, that I’m often tired and grumpy the next morning, and less up for playing etc, and she doesn’t like that, so I tie that into discussions about staying in bed unless she’s poorly etc.

In your scenario I’d probably do some immediate consequence thing, like set a timer when I say bedtime is starting, of 30/40min. Give that to her and tell her that’s how long we have to do teeth, jammies, stories etc. If you mess about the time for stories is less or even none. If you go up quickly and get your jobs done fast then we have time for loads of stories and cuddles. Mine also like a bedtime game, tickling, rock paper scissors or who am I, type stuff. This is the first thing to be forfeited if they fuck about.

You can get something that goes under neath the handle that will stop her from opening it. Loads of similar gadgets on amazon.

Possibly getting overtired? resulting in giddiness? so could move bedtime routine forward by 30 mins. Otherwise she's just cottoned onto the fact she can wind you up. it's frustrating cos you're so desperate to get them into bed, but you might just wanna make a bit of a joke of it, and throw her over your shoulder, pretend you're a giant or something. Hard at the end of the day I know. Presumably no one else who can take over bedtime so it's not just you every night? Never was for me so I know how hard it is.

Every time she runs out in the garden, she gets attention - and for kids, even negative attention is good attention.

If you stop her from being able to get outside, you've solved half the problem.

ok controversial but can I suggest the opposite?! lighter evenings maybe better to let her wear herself out with some time in the garden? as they get older it's normal for them to be less tired at bedtime - because bedtime naturally gets later as they get older.

Perhaps your routine could just shift a bit to allow a bit of energy releasing?

Don't understand the suggestion to make bedtime earlier! It's natural as kids get older that they might start not being tired at the same time - especially lighter evenings adding to that sense of energy.

Why don’t you actively give her that time
outside 15 minute before bedtime and if she doesn’t take it up or come in when you ask then there’s consequences. My DC mess about at bedtime but if it doesn’t stop then I start a count down and I’ll follow through on the consequence

"You can come in now and we can read before bed. Or if I have to come and get you we won't have time for stories." Shut her in her room "we don't have time for stories because you were messing about"

Then the next day "remember how upset you were when we didn't have time for bedtime stories? Are you going to come have stories or mess about again?"

Why would she stop if it doesn't have consequences?

Get a proper lock that is really unsafe.

What time are you putting her to bed? Did it start when the clocks changed?

I can’t offer any advice, but I’m in the same boat with having a nightmare with bedtimes recently.

My DD is also 5.5 and since the clocks went forward it’s hard work getting her to bed, she also will only fall asleep with my laying next to her. By the time bedtime is done it’s 9pm and I’m usually tired and ready for bed myself then.

You have no way to lock an external door? That's not safe you need to fit at least a high level bolt.

It’s a proper secure lock, she’s just strong and has mastered how to push it down (sometimes, often she can’t) to unlock it

Clocks changing has definitely had an influence

Clocks change is such a pain, my DD is 10 and still needs convincing that it's actually bedtime when it's light out. She acts like there's a sneaky conspiracy to make her go to bed during daytime lol

What time is she going to bed? My five year old gets giddy when he's overtired. So if it's near 7.30 he acts this way!

It's not safe because your young child can open it from the inside. She could just let herself out in the middle of the night if she woke up. It needs a child safe locking system.

Regarding the behaviour, I'd give her the opportunity for time outside before bed and have consequences for not coming in as per the PP. But crucially don't make a big deal of it, just follow through with any consequences without any fuss or shouting.