To ask why you sought an ADHD diagnosis in adulthood?

[terriblyangryattimes]

Many of my friends (ages late 20s to mid 40s) have in the past year or so sought an ADHD diagnosis. More often than not privately due to extended wait times. Some of them have kids who have SEND which made them think more about their own brain and how it works, a couple have stated it was purely off the back of watching social media videos of other people diagnosing themselves or their professional diagnosis.

I too have seen these videos and can relate to many of the 'symptoms' - although my own husband got an ADHD diagnosis in uni 18 years ago and we are not alike at all - but it presents differently in a female brain so I am led to understand.

My Q's for those who have received an ADHD diagnosis is what did you gain from it? Has it changed anything? What do you do differently in life because of it? Do you need/get adjustments at work? Are you medicated?

I do not mean to be goady or inflammatory at all here, I am genuinely curious and I'm asking what is the benefit of having a bit of paper stating you have ADHD rather than just assuming you have it.

Do you mean because you felt you had ADHD and needed them?

Your comment just sounds a bit flippant and like you were seeking drugs you perhaps didn't need otherwise.

Forgive my Autism, but I'm confused.

I technically fulfil the diagnostic criteria for ADHD, but have no interest in the diagnosis itself, as I feel my difficulties are already fully encompassed by my ASD diagnosis. There are symptoms which are common to ASD and ADHD which are equally amenable to drug treatment regardless of which diagnosis is given, but the NHS will only try drug treatment if the ADHD label is present. So, I asked for an NHS ADHD assessment because I wanted to try stimulants. To me my ADHD diagnosis is superfluous except insofar as it opens bureaucratic doors for me.

Happy now?

Edit: I mean, surely getting drugs is one of the main reasons to seek an ADHD diagnosis. Sure, there's self-understanding, validation, information that might help with strategies or therapies, but getting drugs is a really really big part of it for a lot of people.

I'm not sure why you've felt the need to be so nasty with your 'happy now' response.

I'm diagnosed AuDHD. My young daughter is diagnosed Autistic and we are awaiting her ADHD assessment. It's a nightmare; the wait times, the disbelief, the struggles, the self harm, school refusal, friendship issues, self doubt, anxiety, panic attacks. The list goes on. As a Neurodivergent single parent, I interact on MN frequently with others in similar situations and always receive a positive and understanding response.

You posted what seemed like a very flippant reply to this thread, with no further explanation. I apologised for my Autistic self questioning further information. From one Neurodivergent person to another, I thought you may have understood. It seems not. I'm bowing out of this conversation now as it's just too much for me.

I apologise again for questioning you, but I did so because I did not understand your post.

I don't think I am ND but my brother has just been diagnosed as ADHD in his 30's. His doctor had queried his periods of depression apparently and asked for him to consider testing. I don't think my brother would ever have considered it. I think my dad might be ND in some way but I don't think he'll ever have testing.

And I don't know why you needed to jump straight to "You sound like you're seeking drugs you don't need", Rainbow, but there we are.

I was at university studying to be an operating department practitioner. My mentor mentioned when I was scrubbing I needed to look at my attention as it was everywhere round the room and not on the task. He used to be a teacher. Looked up attention issues and adhd came up.

I went to my gp and was referred but uni helped pay for a private diagnosis. I got an NHS one a year later at 41. Covid happened shortly after and I didn’t finish my course.

Now stuck in an NHS loop of needing a medication review and not had medication and now been without medication for nearly 2 years. I’ve also moved so waiting for the service to take me that should have done years ago but obvs massively oversubscribed now. It wasn’t a fashionable diagnosis when I got mine now every YouTuber and their uncle has it. ADHD is bloody hard to live with.

Right. No problem. You don't get me, I don't get you. Fair enough.

I went for an autism assessment as my elder children were diagnosed and came out with a bonus diagnosis of ADHD.

I am medicated. There are now several hours in the day when my brain is able to focus on one thing at once instead of the incessant feeling like I have 35 tabs open in my brain and I can't find the one I want
I'm kinder to myself
I've learnt about strategies I already implemented and why they've worked for me.
I have more confidence in who I am

DH is looking into it follow DS's diagnosis as it makes a lot of his childhood make sense. Also interested because he's wondering if it's why he's lost quite a lot of jobs when there's not been any disasters under his watch or any big confrontation or anything - as it happens I just read a statistic that said adults with ADHD are about 60% more likely than those without to lose their jobs.

I was diagnosed with AuDHD (I don't love the term, but as a shorthand) very recently.

Right now I feel utterly scrambled - no meds available, no support unless I seek it out (on threads like this!) and obviously if I was in a position to arrange a support group etc I wouldn't have two neurodiversities characterised by processing issues, procrastination and social difficulty - you may as well ask me to pilot a Mars rover.

Anyway - I sought a diagnosis because I felt "something" (tbc) was up with DD, and I recognised a lot of myself in her. I also really battled with my patchy career history, more visibly odd as I get older and contemporaries are in classical Big Jobs - very frustrating as I'm intelligent which I'd have expected to correlate to career success (ha bloody ha). And finally, in my current role, working for myself, I seem to do very well leading others and making decisions, while simultaneously being dreadful at the most basic of "bum on chair" tasks.

As I said, it's early days and I'm still processing it all. But I am glad I sought a diagnosis. I am being kinder to myself now.

Not me, but my DH was diagnosed in his early 40’s, is now medicated and says the medicine has been life changing.

I went for an ASD diagnosis, 2 diagnosed DC and thought that was the reason I felt so fucking different all my life.

Nope….i have ADHD 😆.

I got an assessment because it was ruining my life and I wanted to understand what was wrong and get treatment. Untreated ADHD is dangerous. Harder to keep a job, more likely to suffer from addictions, impulsive behaviour and inattention leads to injury and accidents, and the whole thing apparently shaves a few years off of the life expectancy.

So yes, I’m medicated as that is the first line / most effective treatment. I wish I had been diagnosed as a child though when my brain was still developing. If I had been treated then with the right combination of meds and strategies, my childhood sponge brain would have made more permanent connections. As an adult it’s just to manage the symptoms as best you can.

I read a first-person piece by a recently diagnosed woman who described the difference between a day where she’d taken medication versus what an usual day had been like previously and it just clicked - after decades of not understanding my own struggles and inconsistencies. Grateful that the GP referred me straight away. The Elvanse does really help and having a diagnosis has been really useful in leading me to different pieces of research about its connections to adoption and childhood trauma.

I’d say to other people wondering if diagnosis is worthwhile to do pursue it – even if not for themselves, then for how the emergence of a significant population of us can help bring about longer term change in our culture that will make it better for kids with ADHD in 20 years time. At some point the sheer volume HAS to make a difference, like if so many round pegs aren’t fitting into square holes maybe the solution becomes varying the shapes of holes instead of trying to make all the pegs the same?

I went for the diagnosis because I wanted to try medication. The medication wasn't successful for me. Honestly now I wish I hadn't got the diagnosis. It hasn't been a helpful thing to know about myself. I'm also wondering if it is the correct diagnosis, although it was made by an NHS psychologist with a national reputation. A lot of my symptoms could equally be explained by anxiety.

Can anyone describe the difference between the day when you’ve taken medication nd the day when you haven’t.

I was diagnosed in the 90s but due to, well ADHD, I didn’t stay in the system and now I’m having to restart the process (whilst now being ineligible for “Right to Choose” as I already have a diagnosis, but cannot access any help for it!)

I almost certainly have ADHD. DS1 was diagnosed 3 years ago, and it shone a light on my own history of childhood anxiety and lifelong executive dysfunction.

I will not be seeking a diagnosis. I have found ways to cope with my lack of object permanence, my rejection sensitive dysphoria and my impulsiveness. Technology has been a game-changer in this respect.

I have 2 friends that were diagnosed and they were adamant I had it.

As others have said, I felt like I was drowning and just shit at life. Looked like other people just sailed through whilst I struggled to have a shower.

I cried on receiving my diagnosis. Pure relief.

I’ve recently been trying to decide if I want to put myself through the assessment following some struggles at work and some internal screening. I’ve always thought adhd was likely - it’s strong in my family and like everyone I’ve seen all the recent reels and threads and recognised myself. When I mentioned it to my family, friends and team and work they were like “quelle surprise” 🤣

But … what would a diagnoses change? I’m not sure I’d want to medicate myself and the process apparently takes 3 years to complete, also, I’m mid 40’s and have made peace with my unusual personality, but it would be so nice to see how most people think - my head is a hard place to be a lot of the time.

Because for 40 odd years I thought I was just a crap person with a crap memory and rubbish mental health. It never occurred to me that there could be an underlying cause that I could actually DO SOMETHING ABOUT!
I thought struggling as much as I have was just normal and it's been a revelation to me that actually it's not, and with the right support I can achieve more.

On the other side of this I’m certain I’ve got ADD, my brother got a diagnosis as a child in the 90s, my dad and my grandad almost certainly have it but couldn’t get diagnosed as adults at the time my brother got his diagnosis. I don’t want to know, I don’t think having it recorded anywhere would help me.

It has made me have peace with myself. It has helped me to understand myself and my child and therefore I don’t strive as much to be what I can’t be. Some examples: I have always been messy and poor at housework and felt judged by family and friends. So now I am forgiving of myself on that front and will make a focussed effort when people are visiting but I realise that I am not ‘lazy’. I am educated to a very high level and have some good creative and people skills but I have never achieved success in jobs which I could sustain. I did manage a high flying job in a creative industry for 7 years but could only do this becasue of hyper focus and by prioritising my job above everything else. I was not able to have relationships or even friendships outside of work and in the end it all came crashing down. Now after diagnosis I can einderstand why this happened and come to terms with it. . I used to berate myself for never having achieved my potential but today having just lost another job I am more pragmatic. Now I will choose a job that is easy to manage and will give me just enough to live on and I won’t feel a failure for doing that. Also i now understand that I can get irritable easily and will remove myself from situations or apologise quickly. This has helped enormously in my relationship with my husband and other close family. In short it has helped me to be self accepting and to know that there are ways that I can explore which will help me to cope better with life

I would very likely have thrown in the towel on my career if I hadn't got a diagnosis and the support that it comes with.

It's horrible looking at everyone around you getting in with stuff, with life, with no effort, and just not being able to keep up. Always making the same stupid errors and not being able to learn how to complete the most straightforward and mundane of tasks no matter how hard you try.

No criticism implied or intended but by the time you were 50, was it possible to work out what was 'off' in your behaviour and put in coping strategies?