Height restriction - who was BU?

[TigerOnTour]

I went to a thing today and there was a simulator/game that visitors could go on. I was accompanied by person A who was 146cm and person B who was 136cm tall. You had to be 140cm to go on it. A and B measured themselves and only A was allowed on by the ride operator. B was upset. B said A should have not gone on it because B wasn't tall enough. Should I have stopped A going on to save B's feelings?
WIBU to let A go on the ride?

A should have gone on the ride while B waited. Unfair on older siblings to not be allowed to do something because the younger one can’t.

@EveryoneJapan B is 9, so almost!

Assuming these are children, you should have set expectations beforehand.

@Greyat I didn't know it was there! It was a tiny part of a bigger event.

I'm trying to see this kind of thing as prep for the next few years when big bro gets a phone first, gets to walk to school first, gets to go out alone with mates first and all the other million firsts that leaves me faced with a younger brother railing at the injustice of being second born.

@ThreeEggOmlette big brother is doing all those things this year and little one feels a bit left behind I think.

Why? We can't always anticipate everything in life or prevent all disappointments for our DC. In fact, it's good for children to experience disappointment. Real life is full of unfairness and let downs.
Trying to smooth the way for DC leads to entitled behaviour and a lack of resilience. It's called lawn mower parenting and is the next level on from helicopter parenting.

Encourage little brother to compare himself at 9 with big bro at 9, not big bro at 11.

The little sibling always gets to do things earlier, the eldest always has a harder time paving the way! I'm sure you can think of examples - tablets, gaming, sleepovers etc.

But it's also just life and a bit of disappointment won't do him any harm.

Nope I wouldn't make the older one miss out tho last time platform trainers were in my brother stole them to make the height in Disney (covered by long baggy trousers #90s).

I keep things equal with all my children. If one can do it, they all do it. Unfortunately that's why I had to teach a 9 year old to drive and a 11 year old came on a hen party.

That’s normal. At some point you’ll allow younger one do some things earlier than you let the older one do them.

Then you’ll hear “That’s not fair I had to wait until I was x years old to do/have that” and the older one will resent the special treatment of the younger. It’s how the world balances out 🤣

This. See chessington, legoland and alton towers - all of which we regularly go to with young kids. This is a part of life and a teaching moment I guess, you shouldn't avoid this sort of thing and let the older one miss out. Teach your younger one to accept this sort of thing.

This is so true!

Hmmm not necessarily children..

Oh my life, seriously?! Older siblings get to do things before their younger siblings. That’s just life. You wouldn’t say ‘oh sorry, you can’t go to scouts/university/driving lessons because your brother is too young and can’t do those things’ would you?

It's a shame he just missed the limit.

But maybe you need to teach him that it is not always all about him, and that he should be pleased that his brother had the experience rather than being angry and expecting him not to go because he couldn't. Sure he can be upset he couldn't go, but taking it out on his brother is spiteful.

In the future lots of things are going to happen, like driving, staying up and going to uni etc where the older child can do it and the younger one can't and they need to get used to that.

You must have known as they went to get measured little one was unlikely to "pass"

@neverknowinglyunreasonable haha, my child B would love to live with you!

Did it cost money? I might have given the equivalent amount to the younger one. Otherwise I think it's just tough luck and good for them to learn they are individuals and can't always do everything exactly the same.

It’s a tricky age this one - my DC are less than 2 years apart and when DC1 got to 11 and DC was 9, there was a separation that happened that was hard to deal with for both of them - DC1 wanted more responsibility/privilege and DC2 wanted things to stay the same. It’s evened out somewhat with both at secondary school, and extra maturity on both sides. But I remember it being a bit tricky when before the age gap had been really easy for years.

This! I remember the gameboy resentment as a kid. Was never allowed as the oldest, eventually got one when I went to secondary school, swiftly followed by yr4 younger brother, I think to stop bickering over it, but at yr4 I wasnt allowed one. Big sibling always has to bend the parent round, then little sibling always gets it to keep the peace. Allow big sibling a few wins here and there and remind little sibling of times this has happened, especially if they are of the age to comprehend this.

That's life. You can't everything want. Person Bs day will come

I think it just kind of sorts itself out. There’s a two year gap between my two and I don’t honestly remember any conflict about these things. I think as long as younger child doesn’t feel they’re always getting the short straw or feel that older is favoured it should be ok. It’s all pretty much played by ear at the time, well for me it was.

That is just life. There will often be similar situations where one can and the other can't. Life is going to be difficult if you try to avoid it in the interest of perceived fairness.

Why should the talker person miss put?