Page 3 | Is using repeated question marks rude or not???

User1979289 · 2024-04-10T11:31:11+00:00

I find it rude to send a message "I'm running 10 mins late, can you wait???" I get a lot from clients "Can you do Tuesday at 3.30pm??" Mostly from people who aren't rude at all in real life. IANBU: it is rude!?! IABU: Wake up grandma, it is 2024!?!

KreedKafer · 10/04/2024 15:41

It completely depends on the context. For example, my DP texted me yesterday about a place we used to eat all the time and said "Just walked down [street] on my lunchbreak - did you know [restaurant] has closed down???" which was not rude in any way. The triple ? was just to emphasise his shock/surprise at seeing the place has gone; essentially equivalent to starting the sentence with 'OMG'.

But if someone on eBay or Vinted sent me a message saying 'Have you posted my item yet???' or 'Why are you charging so much for this top???' then that would be rude because clearly they're using the ?s to make their question seem more demanding and accusative.

Peclet · 10/04/2024 15:52

Mainly illiterate.

IsadoraQuagmire · 10/04/2024 15:54

KreedKafer · 10/04/2024 15:41

It completely depends on the context. For example, my DP texted me yesterday about a place we used to eat all the time and said "Just walked down [street] on my lunchbreak - did you know [restaurant] has closed down???" which was not rude in any way. The triple ? was just to emphasise his shock/surprise at seeing the place has gone; essentially equivalent to starting the sentence with 'OMG'.

But if someone on eBay or Vinted sent me a message saying 'Have you posted my item yet???' or 'Why are you charging so much for this top???' then that would be rude because clearly they're using the ?s to make their question seem more demanding and accusative.

Exactly. I'll occasionally use ??? or !!! for emphasis, but only to close friends, not to people I don't know so well and definitely not in a work context.

ShinyAppleDreamingOfTheSea · 10/04/2024 16:06

EveSix · 10/04/2024 12:41

Is it intended as a kind of emphasis? Weird.

It is. I do it all the time - don't realise people may take it as rude (not that I can imagine my friends/family overthinking like this).

ShinyAppleDreamingOfTheSea · 10/04/2024 16:08

MenoBabe · 10/04/2024 13:15

I use to indicate that I'm very uncertain about what I'm asking. Not intended rudely at all.

Yes this.

ShinyAppleDreamingOfTheSea · 10/04/2024 16:09

MrsBungle · 10/04/2024 13:19

I hate this. I find it rude in a work context and unprofessional.

TBF would only ever use on text/whatsapp. Using in business context is weird .

Verv · 10/04/2024 16:13

It's my prompt to reply in 3-5 working days.

Original poster

User1979289 · 10/04/2024 16:16

KreedKafer · 10/04/2024 15:41

It completely depends on the context. For example, my DP texted me yesterday about a place we used to eat all the time and said "Just walked down [street] on my lunchbreak - did you know [restaurant] has closed down???" which was not rude in any way. The triple ? was just to emphasise his shock/surprise at seeing the place has gone; essentially equivalent to starting the sentence with 'OMG'.

But if someone on eBay or Vinted sent me a message saying 'Have you posted my item yet???' or 'Why are you charging so much for this top???' then that would be rude because clearly they're using the ?s to make their question seem more demanding and accusative.

Yes this I agree with. When my cat ate my daughters beauty blender and shat it out I took a photo and captioned it WTF???!!!?!? for the old family group chat so I am guilty of this one myself.

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