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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To speak to my adult son's employer?

116 replies

blarneebeekeeper · 09/04/2024 19:20

My son (20) works for a large company that provides various services within a larger organisation, both are national and well known. My son applied, interviewed, and has a contract for a specific job role within the company. For reason that have not been disclosed, they have moved him from the role that he has being doing for over 2 years, to a similar titled, but very different role. His old role was not public facing at all, behind the scenes in a small team, the new roles is entirely public facing, communicating with people is probably 90% of the job, but its working with the public in its entirety. They have told him he has 2 options, he either does the new position, or he quits.

My Son is diagnosed ASD, has been for over 15 years. The company he works for are aware of this. I attended a recruitment event with him when he was just turned 18, and at the informal pre interview i was sat with him. They allowed me to attend the formal interview in order to help him complete paperwork, however i didn't go into the actual interview with him. They were aware at recruitment stages that he wanted a non-public facing position, as he didn't want to have to communicate with 100s of different people on a daily basis, that he wanted the job role he is contracted to do. They are also aware that my son likes routine and struggles with change that is thrusted on him without prior warnings. As such he does a set 4 on 4 off rota, instead of random shifts and has stayed in the same area of the organisation for the whole 2 years (the role he has covers about 8 different areas within the large organisation, my son does 1 of the areas every shift).

This change being unexpectedly forced upon him this morning has caused him to have a huge meltdown. I was on the phone with him for close to an hour as he was having an anxiety attack about being forced into a job role he isn't suitable for, because he doesn't have any say in the change, because this is a 2 year routine that he is in, going in and doing the same thing every single week. He cannot cope with this change. His emotional maturity is much younger than he actually is. But he has done so well in this role, he loves his job, he doesn't want to leave it. He has spoken in the past about how this is a job he can do for life and how pleased he was to have found a job he loves that fits his needs.

In the circumstances, would IBU to try and meet with his line manager with him, to communicate the things he cant? There's no union or similar, HR are not based in our city. The company is notoriously poor to work for, however up until now, barring some issues he was able to fix, they have been supportive of my son.

(Part of me is wondering as he is close to turning 21 if this is a way of getting rid of him before they have to give him a sizable pay rise)

OP posts:
Howmanysleepsnow · 09/04/2024 19:24

I suspect YABU.
But it wouldn’t BU to support your son to send a bullet point email highlighting the reasons he would struggle with this, citing his disability under the DDA and suggesting alternatives which may meet business needs.

Tel12 · 09/04/2024 19:25

Being realistic it's unlikely that he will be able to stay in the same role for the rest of his working life. Having said that I wonder if you can contact Access to Work and see what advice they can offer? They might be able to help you devise a way forward

WandaWonder · 09/04/2024 19:26

No you don't speak to an adults employer, if they are old enough/capable with special needs to do a job they are old enough to speak for themselves

Tatas · 09/04/2024 19:27

He's 20 and unfortunately I don't think his mum requesting to meet with his line manager is going to have any sway in him being put into a new role.

Even if HR are not based in your city it would be worth your son making contact with them / ACAS for advice.

Nocturna · 09/04/2024 19:27

As it's such a large organisation, I don't think they will just be trying to get rid of anyone turning 21.

He may see it as a job for life, but no company owes him a job for life, it isn't realistic to think there will be no changes over the years.

I'd be surprised if a large company hasn't communicated the changes. Restructure? Automation of his previous duties? Less need for them?

If he has found something he is good at then apply for that sort of role at other companies.

EricHebbornInItaly · 09/04/2024 19:28

Call acas and they will tell you/him legally where he stands. I would have thought as he had a disability he would have certain protections in his role.

blarneebeekeeper · 09/04/2024 19:28

Tel12 · 09/04/2024 19:25

Being realistic it's unlikely that he will be able to stay in the same role for the rest of his working life. Having said that I wonder if you can contact Access to Work and see what advice they can offer? They might be able to help you devise a way forward

Theres people within the organisation that have been doing it for 40+years. Its not a role that is going to change and it will always be needed. It will change gradually of course, and has done over time, but it will always be needed. Think binman, or postman. Its essentially the same as it always has been.

OP posts:
BobbyBiscuits · 09/04/2024 19:29

They should make reasonable adjustments to enable him to do the role in line with disabilities act. It feels bad they have moved him to a public facing role, seemingly without his consent?
What does his contract say? Ideally it would be better if he could negotiate his employer on his own, with your help in the background. Purely as it will help build his confidence.
Can he speak to ACAS? Does he actually still want to work there, just in the previous role? They could claim it's no longer available but legally I think ACAS is the best route.

Macramepotholder · 09/04/2024 19:30

I would draft an email for/with him, from his email address requesting reasonable adjustments.

Does his old role still exist, or is he effectively redundant and has been moved into something they think is a suitable alternative?

Nappyvalley15 · 09/04/2024 19:30

Yes I think someone should advocate on his behalf. Is he happy for you to try to speak to his employer? if yes, do so. Or as pp suggested- speak to ACAS.

GinForBreakfast · 09/04/2024 19:30

Don't speak to his employers but do help him to compose an email to his boss. They know about his disability and should make reasonable adjustments.

BibbleandSqwauk · 09/04/2024 19:31

I really don't think you can have direct contact but you can support him in drafting an email or practising a conversation. Given that they are aware of his autism I do think you could explore that route as "reasonable adjustments" that he stay in his current role if at all possible. You may have to puppet master a bit. Just because he is biologically and legally a 20 year old adult, as you say, developmentally he is behind and needs support.

blarneebeekeeper · 09/04/2024 19:31

Nocturna · 09/04/2024 19:27

As it's such a large organisation, I don't think they will just be trying to get rid of anyone turning 21.

He may see it as a job for life, but no company owes him a job for life, it isn't realistic to think there will be no changes over the years.

I'd be surprised if a large company hasn't communicated the changes. Restructure? Automation of his previous duties? Less need for them?

If he has found something he is good at then apply for that sort of role at other companies.

It isnt something he can do outside of this company really, leaving would mean he has to find a new role entirely. They haven't communicated why, just that they need him to move to a different area, however his contract specifically states the job role, not that he is just contracted to the company and can be moved. This is the part he is struggling to communicate and get a clear answer on. How can they move him when his contract doesnt state that they can or will?

OP posts:
Shinyeyes · 09/04/2024 19:32

Disagreeing with the majority above, I feel you are fairly acting as his advocate. I would seek legal advice as suggested above. Perhaps also have a look on autism uk and see if they have any advice or pointers.

blarneebeekeeper · 09/04/2024 19:34

Macramepotholder · 09/04/2024 19:30

I would draft an email for/with him, from his email address requesting reasonable adjustments.

Does his old role still exist, or is he effectively redundant and has been moved into something they think is a suitable alternative?

Yes it exists, it will always exist within the organisation. Downsizing the amount of staff is a possibility, however they are always short staffed anyway.

I work within the larger organisation so know first hand this department of the company is always short staffed too.

It makes no sense to me why he is being moved, the only thing i can think of is the pay, or they have had an influx of applicants to that role at the last recruitment day so he is being pushed out. I honestly dont know, i cant think of any valid reason for it.

OP posts:
fieldsofbutterflies · 09/04/2024 19:35

Most contracts will say your job role can change to fit the needs of the business (or similar). It will normally be in the employee handbook.

Anewuser · 09/04/2024 19:40

I would absolutely get involved. You’ve clearly empowered him up to now in order to successfully work for 2 years. It is not unreasonable that you want to continue supporting him.

I would write an email as it will be more concise. You need to quote the Equality Act 2010 not disability discrimination act (that’s old), and reasonable adjustments. I would also threaten constructive dismissal.

I wish you both good luck.

beetr00 · 09/04/2024 19:43

@blarneebeekeeper you've just said "I work within the larger organisation" which, to me, puts a slightly different spin on you approaching his manager.

I'd have an informal, low-key conversation with the manager wrt the changes in your son's position.

Would that be possible?

Bestyearever2024 · 09/04/2024 19:47

I mean no unkindness by this - but could they be moving him to an unsuitable role to encourage him to leave?

There will be a part of his contract which says that the organisation can expect him to do anything they deem suitable

I wonder if there is an underlying manipulative element to this role move

blarneebeekeeper · 09/04/2024 19:47

beetr00 · 09/04/2024 19:43

@blarneebeekeeper you've just said "I work within the larger organisation" which, to me, puts a slightly different spin on you approaching his manager.

I'd have an informal, low-key conversation with the manager wrt the changes in your son's position.

Would that be possible?

I don't work for the same company, essentially just in the same building, so i don't know his managers, or any management for that company, but i see, work alongside, and deal with their staff continuously so know when they are short staffed. Just happening upon them informally for a chat isnt possible really, i would have to seek them out or arrange it prior to it happening.

OP posts:
ArseInTheCoOpWindow · 09/04/2024 19:47

A lot of ASD people need an advocate. You are being your DS’s advocate, so l think it’s fine to contact the company.

blarneebeekeeper · 09/04/2024 19:49

Bestyearever2024 · 09/04/2024 19:47

I mean no unkindness by this - but could they be moving him to an unsuitable role to encourage him to leave?

There will be a part of his contract which says that the organisation can expect him to do anything they deem suitable

I wonder if there is an underlying manipulative element to this role move

I agree, its the why i cant fathom. He has done the job successfully for over 2 years, theres no reason from a work perspective of forcing him out, which is why i thought possibly the 21 year old pay rise which is now quite a jump.

OP posts:
Bestyearever2024 · 09/04/2024 19:51

blarneebeekeeper · 09/04/2024 19:49

I agree, its the why i cant fathom. He has done the job successfully for over 2 years, theres no reason from a work perspective of forcing him out, which is why i thought possibly the 21 year old pay rise which is now quite a jump.

Yes.....I'd chat to acas. Constructive Dismissal sounds an option.

WinterDeWinter · 09/04/2024 19:52

I agree that you cannot have a word, but you absolutely should help him draft an email which he will send from his account, citing the Equalities Act and the duty of 'reasonable accommodations', and also stating that because of his disability (state the aspects of ASD which come into play here) he either needs to be accompanied by an advocate in face to face meetings or for all communications on this issue to be done in writing.

In other words, a letter which records what has been said by them so far, reminds them of their duties under the EA, and indicates that you are laying a paper trail and are generally not to be fucked with

With luck that will make them think that it's not worth the candle.

BusMumsHoliday · 09/04/2024 19:53

I would help him draft an email and then see if you can source a professional disability advocate to help him. I know it shouldn't be an issue for him to have assistance advocating for his needs, but I think it will look bad if that's his mum. I say as someone whose DH is autistic and has held up signs to coach them through tricky phonecalls.

Another thought, could he request to have the conversation with his boss about the move via a text medium? And you could help him out behind the scenes? If he's got auditory processing difficulties, that would be a reasonable adjustment. My DH often asks that communications on emotive/challenging work subjects are all done by email.