Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To speak to my adult son's employer?

116 replies

blarneebeekeeper · 09/04/2024 19:20

My son (20) works for a large company that provides various services within a larger organisation, both are national and well known. My son applied, interviewed, and has a contract for a specific job role within the company. For reason that have not been disclosed, they have moved him from the role that he has being doing for over 2 years, to a similar titled, but very different role. His old role was not public facing at all, behind the scenes in a small team, the new roles is entirely public facing, communicating with people is probably 90% of the job, but its working with the public in its entirety. They have told him he has 2 options, he either does the new position, or he quits.

My Son is diagnosed ASD, has been for over 15 years. The company he works for are aware of this. I attended a recruitment event with him when he was just turned 18, and at the informal pre interview i was sat with him. They allowed me to attend the formal interview in order to help him complete paperwork, however i didn't go into the actual interview with him. They were aware at recruitment stages that he wanted a non-public facing position, as he didn't want to have to communicate with 100s of different people on a daily basis, that he wanted the job role he is contracted to do. They are also aware that my son likes routine and struggles with change that is thrusted on him without prior warnings. As such he does a set 4 on 4 off rota, instead of random shifts and has stayed in the same area of the organisation for the whole 2 years (the role he has covers about 8 different areas within the large organisation, my son does 1 of the areas every shift).

This change being unexpectedly forced upon him this morning has caused him to have a huge meltdown. I was on the phone with him for close to an hour as he was having an anxiety attack about being forced into a job role he isn't suitable for, because he doesn't have any say in the change, because this is a 2 year routine that he is in, going in and doing the same thing every single week. He cannot cope with this change. His emotional maturity is much younger than he actually is. But he has done so well in this role, he loves his job, he doesn't want to leave it. He has spoken in the past about how this is a job he can do for life and how pleased he was to have found a job he loves that fits his needs.

In the circumstances, would IBU to try and meet with his line manager with him, to communicate the things he cant? There's no union or similar, HR are not based in our city. The company is notoriously poor to work for, however up until now, barring some issues he was able to fix, they have been supportive of my son.

(Part of me is wondering as he is close to turning 21 if this is a way of getting rid of him before they have to give him a sizable pay rise)

OP posts:
SellFridges · 10/04/2024 20:35

I would work with him to draft an email to employee relations (a part of HR) saying he is struggling to understand the need for the change in his role, given his disability. I would ask if a meeting can be held and if he can bring a representative (you). They will investigate the circumstances and help everyone understand.

I do some work in employee relations and this is certainly something we would support.

Ooral · 10/04/2024 21:05

(Part of me is wondering as he is close to turning 21 if this is a way of getting rid of him before they have to give him a sizable pay rise)

I would stop wondering, and start believing, that is exactly the case. Try and contact ACAS, as your son is being constructively dismissed, with discrimination.

pollypocke · 10/04/2024 21:41

I am autistic myself and have been in work for 4ish years. Its been extremely hard for me to stay in work due to my disability so I think your son has done a great job to have been in stable employment for 2 years. The number of ASD folks in employment is very low - largely I believe is because employers don't/won't accommodate our needs.
I absolutely think an advocate is a good idea to join meetings/discussions with his manager, possibly would be better to have someone with experience/legal advice who know what his rights are.
It does seem extremely unfair that they expect him to have a public facing role, surely any changes to his job role should be similar to his original job role? This sounds completely opposite.
Hopefully you can get some advice from someone who knows where he stands. If the company aren't very understanding of ASD or disabilities in general, I'd suggest he looks into the Autism at Work Programme which you can find some info on the National Autistic Society website.
The NAS website also might have some useful advice/contacts if your son really wants to stay with this company.
I hope it all works out for him, I know how hard it is!

StormingNorman · 10/04/2024 21:41

ArseInTheCoOpWindow · 10/04/2024 20:12

Mine would communicate via an advocate in this situation

How would they communicate with the advocate?

ArseInTheCoOpWindow · 10/04/2024 21:45

StormingNorman · 10/04/2024 21:41

How would they communicate with the advocate?

I’d be the advocate. She’d talk to me.

DriftingDora · 10/04/2024 21:49

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Saymyname28 · 10/04/2024 22:00

Help him write an email first. They took him on with full nnowledge of his disability and have form for making reasonable adjustments so they can't plead ignorance.

Moving an autistic person into a new, public facing role is not reasonable. They are required by law to make reasonable adjustments to accommodate his autism, not moving him public facing would fall under that.

I would imagine he's rubbed someone up the wrong way, autistics can come across wierd and make people uncomfortable (im autisic). Just the other day someone here had complained to HR because the autisic man she worked with repeated the same conversational phrases too much, and lots of people were encouraging tormenting, cruel and essentially bullying behaviours.

ArseInTheCoOpWindow · 10/04/2024 22:23

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Hi!

You again with your happy friendly comments.💕🥰

DriftingDora · 10/04/2024 22:41

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

ArseInTheCoOpWindow · 10/04/2024 22:44

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Yep. 2 have been deleted👌👍🏻

Not sure why it’s funny…..

DriftingDora · 10/04/2024 23:10

ArseInTheCoOpWindow · 10/04/2024 22:44

Yep. 2 have been deleted👌👍🏻

Not sure why it’s funny…..

I am! It's hilarious! 😂😂😂

PenguinLord · 11/04/2024 06:17

Firstly, most posters here would not have an experinece with an ASD child and may not be aware of the issues they are facing. People will say "DONT DO IT IT'S INAPPROPRIATE" but Your son needs to have someone who could speak up for him. I wonder if you would talk to the team who runs Autism Unravelled? One of their specialism is or used to be training corporates in understanding diversity. Maybe they can point you in the right direction- you can be your son advocate too, but maybe there is something out there that can be very helpful. Clearly his move has not been thought through and people dont often realise that change for autistic people is very difficult and let's face it- management are rarely trained about this.
https://www.autism-unravelled.com/training-for-corporates

ArseInTheCoOpWindow · 11/04/2024 09:53

DriftingDora · 10/04/2024 23:10

I am! It's hilarious! 😂😂😂

Biscuit
DriftingDora · 11/04/2024 10:10

ArseInTheCoOpWindow · 11/04/2024 09:53

Biscuit

😂😂😂

ArseInTheCoOpWindow · 11/04/2024 10:10

DriftingDora · 11/04/2024 10:10

😂😂😂

🥱

DriftingDora · 11/04/2024 12:46

ArseInTheCoOpWindow · 11/04/2024 10:10

🥱

😴😴😆😂

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread