To not understand giving primary age kids TikTok?

[toastandtwo]

DD(10, Y5) is upset that she’s not allowed TikTok because a number of her friends have access to it (plus whatever other SM they want). She won’t be getting it but I just really don’t understand the thinking behind giving TikTok, Snapchat etc to primary aged kids. So if your pre teens are allowed these apps, what’s the reasoning?
Im genuinely curious because I only ever hear negative things so it just seems strange that parents would allow it.

A lot of kids have them without permission and I don’t think parents check their phones properly. I have TikTok and on my feed popped up my friend’s DD! I was surprised she was allowed an account but said nothing until a few weeks later the subject was brought up and she had no idea when I told her and showed her!

Theres a girl in DD’s class (year 6) who is allowed a TikTok account and makes stupid passive aggressive videos where she mimes to songs and puts words on the screen like “When you realise your friends are a waste of space”. On one of them she mentioned by DD by name - this was after DD refused to be her friend because she’s a total dick. school can’t do anything about it so I told her to her face to stop making TikToks and grow up.

I’ve not used it for a while as my dd hardly uses TikTok but my account is set to family share and hers is to teen so that I could keep an eye on her use. I was surprised at the comment re “for you” as the only way to see wanking on there would be to search it so TikTok would recommend it.

If it’s set to teenage there can be no messaging and others can’t view your profile. Plus my dd knows how to report someone and to come to me with any issues. I can reduce the risks but I can’t eliminate them all. However, I know way more about TikTok and what my child did on there than any of my friends. Hence why I’m not worried. I’m probably more concerned with Snapchat groups and messaging.

@YaMuvva that's the kind of crap kids are dealing with day in and day out it isn't fair.

It’s awful and I really am not prepared for the shit pre-teens face these days and what total dickheads their peers are and how to handle it all.

DH and I thought long and hard about this but went for a smartphone so she could access audible and music - she listens to audiobooks almost constantly when she’s in her room and she did have a CD player but it broke some time ago, and it seemed a bit silly to replace it and spent a lot of money on CDs (our library isn’t great for them) when we were already paying for family subscriptions.
She has never had a tablet so I guess effectively that is what she now has - a small tablet which can also be used to phone and text us. And take about a million photos of our cats.

Im not the sort of parent who does thing because others are, and I absolutely don’t mind being the bad guy on the social media side of things. It’s just interesting to hear different perspectives.

Hi, was that a talk organised by school for parents? Did many attend? I wish our school did that

Way too much research proving the detrimental effects of social media and access to smart phones for us to be persuaded by our kids to let them have it. There is a good reason the people who design and run these companies don't allow their own children to access them. We have already resigned ourselves to the fact that they will hate us as early teens when they're not allowed smart phones (or sleepovers for that matter) our kids are still early primary so I'm fingers crossed and hoping that more parents will be on board with not letting their kids have access to this stuff so ours are not the only ones left out. I cant understand why people allow children to use games like roblox either, kids are so vulnerable online. Each to their own and parents will all have our own rules and perspectives but it's not for us, to be fair me and husband don't have any of the fb, Snapchat,Instagram stuff Mumsnet is the only social media I use as I don't see what all the fuss is about with sm anyway. I'm interested in reading posts that let there kids have it to see the other perspective.

My daughter is 10 and we watch TikTok together some nights for 10 mins in bed. What the heck are people doing to see such inappropriate videos? We only see videos of chihuahuas, people falling over and hurting themselves and dance routines. We have had swearing but she heard worse in the school playground!

Although inappropriate videos are a concern it's not the only one. The short videos are terrible for developing concentration abilities in young brains, there's also the constant, short sharp dopamine hits which is also not good for their developing brains (it's not good for ours either but at least adult brains have had a chance to develop first).

I think a lot of parents are now getting together to ask schools to host talks like this. My feeling is that parents are the ones who need to push this, it's not something schools can take forward on their own. The Smartphone Free Childhood campaign has resources to help with this.

No Roblox or social media here either and so far our kids don't hate us! We explain our reasons and they (mostly) accept that.

I'm at work at the moment, just finishing my lunch break, so only a quick reply, but I'm reading a really good book about SM use and young children/teens called The Anxious Generation (not actually about anxiety) by Johnathan Haight? (I think it's spelt like that). The research is mainly US based but references UK research as well and some of it is awful.

What’s there to understand? Parents don’t want to parent and deal with the tantrum they’d get for saying no.

But they will be screeching at the school to sort out the problems caused under the guise of 'safeguarding', used to dump too much onto schools.

Older millennial here (almost Gen X, is it? Can’t keep up) and my 9yo will not be having a smartphone until as old as humanly possible and as for TikTok - NO. Same for Snapchat or any other SM. I'm aiming for 16 obviously like most parents but I'm a realist so I know that's probs wishful thinking! I will be homeschooling for secondary though so (hopefully 🤞🏻) means less peer pressure

The idea that it makes children better with tech and gives them a head start on their peers is foolish. These apps are designed to be used by everyone, including children. They’re not learning how to program or anything that will get them ahead in the future.

Aside from anything else TikTok is ridiculously addictive. I'd definitely keep primary aged brains away from it.