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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Do you think my family should help to pay for this?

124 replies

Alwayshappensattheworsttime · 08/04/2024 22:08

Live abroad and car has broken down, expensive to fix and will take a while most likely, so we’re without a car.
Dh has a motorbike so can get to work and I can walk to school with dc and to the shops. I work very part time but can perhaps get a taxi to there sometimes.
Parents due to come to stay this weekend for a while and my sister the next day (won’t be staying with us)
Usual thing is I pick and drop them all off at the airport and we go out in the car places most days as places not that near/easy to get to
Looking at car hire prices and it’s pricey for us and not sure we can afford to pay that and getting the car fixed. Having a real stress about it all as don’t want to ruin peoples holidays and be sat at home or trying to get buses everywhere and asking them to get taxis from and back to the airport
Dh said he thinks they might prefer to have a hire car whilst here (for me to) and might not mind paying for it, but I don’t know, I don’t want to ask this of them as they are guests

What would you do?

OP posts:
Bumblebeeinatree · 09/04/2024 12:29

Get the car fixed, hiring a car is going to be an unexpected expense you could do without, could they lend you some money towards fixing the car?

Can you get a courtesy car if you put the car in for repair?

Original poster
Alwayshappensattheworsttime · 09/04/2024 12:43

Insurance doesn’t cover a courtesy car as car is older that 6 years
Messaged my mum telling her the situation and she said not to worry, these things happen and they’d get a taxi. I did ask how we’d get around and she said walk or bus, but tbh, where we are it’s not massively easy, plus with walking my dc to school and back each day then walking further it might be a bit much.

OP posts:
Catza · 09/04/2024 12:49

Alwayshappensattheworsttime · 09/04/2024 12:43

Insurance doesn’t cover a courtesy car as car is older that 6 years
Messaged my mum telling her the situation and she said not to worry, these things happen and they’d get a taxi. I did ask how we’d get around and she said walk or bus, but tbh, where we are it’s not massively easy, plus with walking my dc to school and back each day then walking further it might be a bit much.

so.. what you are saying is that you WANT them to rent the car and pay for it?
Otherwise, I am not sure why you are still worried when your parents said they have no issues with taxies and walking.

Shinyandnew1 · 09/04/2024 12:52

Alwayshappensattheworsttime · 09/04/2024 12:43

Insurance doesn’t cover a courtesy car as car is older that 6 years
Messaged my mum telling her the situation and she said not to worry, these things happen and they’d get a taxi. I did ask how we’d get around and she said walk or bus, but tbh, where we are it’s not massively easy, plus with walking my dc to school and back each day then walking further it might be a bit much.

Well, then you’ve told them.

Yes, maybe it won’t be that easy, but they are fully informed and happy to do it.

Zonder · 09/04/2024 13:33

Won't you need to pay for your car to be repaired anyway? So you could just go ahead and get it done?

Peachy2005 · 09/04/2024 13:34

Your mum sounds way more relaxed than you were expecting about it. Probably spending time with you and GC is their main focus and that’s still on track. Maybe the visit will be more chilled out when there is less focus on going places. I think you should take a few deep breaths regularly and keep telling yourself it will be fine. The anticipation before a visit is always way worse, I find. Good luck!

Original poster
Alwayshappensattheworsttime · 09/04/2024 13:48

@Zonder Its going to take a while to be done and paid in instalments

OP posts:
Original poster
Alwayshappensattheworsttime · 09/04/2024 13:49

@Catza We just won’t be able to go places as much etc as my dc is young and after walking to school and back, she’s not going to then be great walking back again to bus stops, to go places to walk around and walk back when off the buses etc if you see what I mean

OP posts:
WillJeSuis · 09/04/2024 13:53

If they have been to visit you before (several times by the sounds of things), where do you actually need to go? I used to live abroad and once my family had come to visit once or twice I didn't feel the need to take them places. They were coming to see me so we either stayed in or went to very nearby restaurants.

Original poster
Alwayshappensattheworsttime · 09/04/2024 13:54

@WillJeSuis They like to go out each day, not sit in, so the beach, cafes etc

OP posts:
Catza · 09/04/2024 13:59

Alwayshappensattheworsttime · 09/04/2024 13:54

@WillJeSuis They like to go out each day, not sit in, so the beach, cafes etc

They can still do that and happy to do it by taking public transport. If you are worried about your child managing it, you don't have to come. I am honestly not seeing what the issue is. I am sure everyone will be fine and have a great time.

Original poster
Alwayshappensattheworsttime · 09/04/2024 14:00

@Catza They obviously want to spend time out with us

OP posts:
TeaWithHobnobs · 09/04/2024 14:00

Since they've visited before they're already aware of where everything is, the distance etc so if they're happy to walk and use buses and taxis that's their decision and no need for you to worry any more about it.

They might arrange to visit places on their own at times that it doesn't suit you or your dc and then you and dc can join in when you're free/ able to?

Glad it's sorted, hope you all have a relaxing, fabulous time together.

Spirallingdownwards · 09/04/2024 14:01

They have said they are fine without a car.I am getting the impression now that it is you that would rather have one. I am sure that cabs from time to time will be cheaper than car hire too.

MuggleMe · 09/04/2024 14:05

How much more would it cost to hire a car than the taxi to and from the airport? Perhaps hire a car for the day you'd need the taxi if the flight times works so you can get about on those days?

AiryFairy101 · 09/04/2024 14:06

Why not get some Ubers while they are over? Hopefully won’t be too expensive.

PrimalLass · 09/04/2024 14:08

If it's one or the other get the car fixed rather than wasting money on car hire.

ArtyWren · 09/04/2024 14:12

You have explained to them the situation and they are happy to walk/bus it around, so that’s fine.

Alternatively, hire a car and ask them to pay for that, whilst you drive them around.

WillJeSuis · 09/04/2024 14:13

Alwayshappensattheworsttime · 09/04/2024 13:54

@WillJeSuis They like to go out each day, not sit in, so the beach, cafes etc

Fair enough, but are there some places within walking distance? Or could they go by themselves and see you in the evenings? One of my friends used to come and visit me and she always wanted to go sightseeing and do guided tours and stuff. I'd taken time off work to hang out with her and this was not how I wanted to spend our time together so in the end I said she could go sightseeing and we could meet up afterwards.

Polishedshoesalways · 09/04/2024 14:17

Alwayshappensattheworsttime · 09/04/2024 12:43

Insurance doesn’t cover a courtesy car as car is older that 6 years
Messaged my mum telling her the situation and she said not to worry, these things happen and they’d get a taxi. I did ask how we’d get around and she said walk or bus, but tbh, where we are it’s not massively easy, plus with walking my dc to school and back each day then walking further it might be a bit much.

It’s not your problem how they facilitate their journeys and outings. You have told them there isn’t a car, and I would also mention dd will be too tired after school to do very much - they can make a plan themselves, and can organise their time there.

MartinsSpareCalculator · 09/04/2024 15:43

Tell them you haven't got a car at the moment and can't afford to hire one so their options are to use public transport or to hire a car.

I wouldn't ask them to pay for me to hire a car though, no.

MartinsSpareCalculator · 09/04/2024 15:45

Realistically how much is a hire car? I don't know where in the world you are but you can generally get a basic compact car for not that much. Have you compared the cost of that with the cost of taxis and buses?

Menapausemum1974 · 09/04/2024 15:49

Alwayshappensattheworsttime · 09/04/2024 14:00

@Catza They obviously want to spend time out with us

@Alwayshappensattheworsttime simply say to them,
I was going to hire a car but can’t afford
to now because of the car bill. If you are happy to pay for a hire I’m totally happy to drive/ pick up etc otherwise we can bus it but it will be pretty time consuming. Sorry wouldn’t normally mention it but really bad timing

Caroparo52 · 09/04/2024 15:53

Alwayshappensattheworsttime · 08/04/2024 22:12

@PSEnny Theyre used to not paying anything though and I drive them around. They pay for their flights to come to us

Well this time it's different... you don't have wheels and it's only because of their trip that you n need some. I would say to them...
hi family really sorry to say but our car is out of action and won't be fixed in time for your visit. I'm in two minds what to do now so what do you all think?... either you all get a taxi from airport to ours and we then use public transport for out and about. Or I hire a car for duration of your trip. Happy to drive and collect you from airport but me and hubby can't afford to pay for hire car on top of our car repair. We can split the cost between us all.. and it will cost £x per person. What do you all want to do. ??
Sorry again etc etc.

Axx · 09/04/2024 18:40

If they're like my parents they might offer to pay to get your car fixed when they get there. I hope you have a good time together.