Page 3 | Do you think my family should help to pay for this?

Alwayshappensattheworsttime · 2024-04-08T21:08:38+00:00

Live abroad and car has broken down, expensive to fix and will take a while most likely, so we’re without a car. Dh has a motorbike so can get to work and I can walk to school with dc and to the shops. I work very part time but can perhaps get a taxi to there sometimes. Parents due to come to stay this weekend for a while and my sister the next day (won’t be staying with us) Usual thing is I pick and drop them all off at the airport and we go out in the car places most days as places not that near/easy to get to Looking at car hire prices and it’s pricey for us and not sure we can afford to pay that and getting the car fixed. Having a real stress about it all as don’t want to ruin peoples holidays and be sat at home or trying to get buses everywhere and asking them to get taxis from and back to the airport Dh said he thinks they might prefer to have a hire car whilst here (for me to) and might not mind paying for it, but I don’t know, I don’t want to ask this of them as they are guests What would you do?

Corinthiana · 09/04/2024 07:10

mnahmnah · 08/04/2024 22:27

I think that they have had plenty of free holidays, which is very lucky. So paying for a hire car shouldn’t a big deal for them in the circumstances. Just keep it simple - ‘so sorry, our car is broken and we can’t get it repaired just yet. You will need to arrange a hire car’

Free holidays?
They're visiting their daughter.
Does she get a free holiday when she visits them?

maddening · 09/04/2024 07:12

You tell them car is broken, you are saving up to fix it so options are taxis and buses For travel (everyone paying their own way) or they would need to hire a car for their stay, and make it clear that you can not afford to fund that

conniecon · 09/04/2024 07:18

Can't you just get the car fixed this week so then the money is spent on that and no need for hire car?

Corinthiana · 09/04/2024 07:20

conniecon · 09/04/2024 07:18

Can't you just get the car fixed this week so then the money is spent on that and no need for hire car?

That sounds like a better plan.

Original poster

Alwayshappensattheworsttime · 09/04/2024 07:35

The car costs a lot more money to be fixed-possibly up to £1000

OP posts:

Corinthiana · 09/04/2024 07:36

Alwayshappensattheworsttime · 09/04/2024 07:35

The car costs a lot more money to be fixed-possibly up to £1000

Do you have any savings or an emergency fund?

Molonty · 09/04/2024 07:41

There is no other solution other than to hire a car and they contribute to most of it. My dp would offer to do that as a given. You don't need one currently so the only reason you need to hire is because of them so they need to contribute. If they don't want to then they just need to sit at home.

Livelifelaughter · 09/04/2024 07:41

I think it's reasonable to say that the car has broken so you can't collect them but they can get a taxi or hire a car. I wouldn't suggest that you are a named driver though. I think you could then say we can get around by local buses if you decide to take a taxi from the airport.

Gymmum82 · 09/04/2024 07:45

I’d just tell them we currently have no car so if you want to go anywhere you’ll have to hire a car. We can’t afford to pay for that and our car repairs.
Alternatively you’ll have to get public transport around. They are literally getting a free holiday. It’s not your responsibility to pay for them

Linedbook · 09/04/2024 07:46

I'd talk to my family about it and they'd offer to pay, if they knew my situation.

BusyMummy001 · 09/04/2024 07:49

Appreciate that you usually pick them up, but you can’t this time. You have no car and, it seems, can’t afford to get it fixed? You also, it seems, can’t really afford to pay for car hire either?

Call them. Talk to them and explain this to them and let them make a decision as to whether they can help out, hire a car, or whether they should move their flights until you have a car. Perhaps they can lend you the money to get it fixed now and you can pay them back a bit each month - that way it’s a win for you all?

the only people who can help you sort this out is your family.

Original poster

Alwayshappensattheworsttime · 09/04/2024 07:55

@Corinthiana No, the garage will possibly let us pay it off bit by bit, but impossible that and the hire car too

OP posts:

Corinthiana · 09/04/2024 07:56

Alwayshappensattheworsttime · 09/04/2024 07:55

@Corinthiana No, the garage will possibly let us pay it off bit by bit, but impossible that and the hire car too

Ok, that's a pity. Some good suggestions upthread. Tell your parents what's happened and suggest they hire a car.

NoSquirrels · 09/04/2024 07:58

Hi Mum & Dad, the car is going to be ridiculously expensive to fix - over £1000. We’re struggling to know how we’ll afford that and obviously won’t have a car to pick you up. What do you want to do about transport while you’re here - hope you’re OK to mostly hang out at my house!

PlasticOno · 09/04/2024 08:00

GreatGateauxsby · 08/04/2024 22:12

Tell them your car is kaput so you can’t collect them.
You are letting them know so they can either hire a car or organise taxis.
if they want to hire a car with you as named driver you are happy to do that 🤷🏻‍♀️

Edited

This.

Catza · 09/04/2024 08:10

You seem like a classic people pleaser. Nothing is really your responsibility and you should be able to talk openly with your family as they are.. you know… family.
I travel abroad to see my family all the time and yes, most of the time I get picked up and driven around. But if they can’t make it, then I take a bus or a train. I have never thought that they must make themselves available to me at all hours of the day.
The situation doesn’t need to be complicated. You say “my car is broken and we can’t currently afford a rental given the cost of repairs. We can take public transport or you guys can rent a car”. End of.

Xmasbaby11 · 09/04/2024 08:17

How much is the rental and is there any chance you can get your car fixed in time?

it seems a shame to spend £££ on car hire if you could have your car back. My parents would offer eg £200 towards the repairs to get the car back rather than spend it on car hire.

PlasticOno · 09/04/2024 08:29

Catza · 09/04/2024 08:10

You seem like a classic people pleaser. Nothing is really your responsibility and you should be able to talk openly with your family as they are.. you know… family.
I travel abroad to see my family all the time and yes, most of the time I get picked up and driven around. But if they can’t make it, then I take a bus or a train. I have never thought that they must make themselves available to me at all hours of the day.
The situation doesn’t need to be complicated. You say “my car is broken and we can’t currently afford a rental given the cost of repairs. We can take public transport or you guys can rent a car”. End of.

Yes, exactly.

DisforDarkChocolate · 09/04/2024 08:32

Just tell them you don't have access to a car and you can't afford to hire one.

godmum56 · 09/04/2024 08:52

Alwayshappensattheworsttime · 08/04/2024 22:12

@PSEnny Theyre used to not paying anything though and I drive them around. They pay for their flights to come to us

you have no car. You can't afford to hire one. Tell them what the situation is, let them decisde what to do about it.

godmum56 · 09/04/2024 08:53

Catza · 09/04/2024 08:10

You seem like a classic people pleaser. Nothing is really your responsibility and you should be able to talk openly with your family as they are.. you know… family.
I travel abroad to see my family all the time and yes, most of the time I get picked up and driven around. But if they can’t make it, then I take a bus or a train. I have never thought that they must make themselves available to me at all hours of the day.
The situation doesn’t need to be complicated. You say “my car is broken and we can’t currently afford a rental given the cost of repairs. We can take public transport or you guys can rent a car”. End of.

This

WappityWabbit · 09/04/2024 09:02

Firstly, you’re not responsible for ensuring that grown adults have a nice holiday at your expense!

You need to be clear with them about the car situation and that your finances won’t stretch to hiring a car, fuel costs for days out and feeding them.

Are you afraid of their reaction if you tell them the truth?

Tbry24 · 09/04/2024 10:11

The easiest answer would be to explain the cars broken down you now have to save up to fix it so can’t collect then or go for days put. So can you split the repair costs between you all to get it fixed quicker to not impact their holiday. I’m sure they’d agree.

YouveGotAFastCar · 09/04/2024 10:23

Just send your mum a message and say that the car has a broken whatever, it's going to cost a grand to fix it and you can't afford that yet so won't have a car when they visit.

They can come back and say it's fine, they'll arrange a taxi to yours and not expect to go out (unless you've got any public transport nearby), or they can say they'd like to explore car hire, and you can split it in half.

It's fine that you usually have an arrangement which means travel is the responsibility of the person with the car in the right place... but right now, you don't have a car in the right place. So if you want one, you split the cost.

jannier · 09/04/2024 12:24

conniecon · 09/04/2024 07:18

Can't you just get the car fixed this week so then the money is spent on that and no need for hire car?

You do know many people don't just have spare lying around don't you?