To wonder how people book holidays without arguments?

[Schne]

I’ve been in the process of planning this year’s family holiday for the past month now and still not decided where to go. It will be us, DC, my parents and PIL. It’s just so hard to find somewhere all 9 of us can agree on without arguing. I hate it and it’s so stressful every year. It’s like we’ll decide somewhere and at least someone will be put off by something or want to go somewhere else!

Does everyone else have this struggle??

Club La Santa

Just sayin'

Perfect for multi generational holidays.

Like most people, we don't have arguments because we don't try to book a holiday for 9 adults, spanning 3 generations.

I mean, it's never going to be right for everyone is it ?

Just decide where you and your dh would like to go; put in the family WhatsApp "This is where Dad and I are going - if anyone wants to join us let us know by the end of the week and I'll book it for whoever wants to come".

If you want to do long haul, I’d go to a large resort complex in the Caribbean, where there is multiple restaurants, night life, and you can cater to multiple generations, but I’m still surprised any teenager or 20 year old can afford it.

Good advice from @NewName24 !

"We are going to xxx on holiday. You are welcome to join us if you want" is all you need to say.

Personally, I don't "get" extended family holidays. No-one seems to enjoy them and people just fall out with each other.

We just holiday by ourselves.

Well first of all, don't take 9 people on holiday! Ditch the parents and the in laws, because it sounds nothing like a holiday to me. People want different things at different ages, so you'll never agree, and surely it would be more enjoyable just with your own family?

Your 18 yo can afford Miami 🤯

We often do multi generational holidays but we are all mostly easy going and so long as it suits the grandkids and the great grandmother that works fine. We decide on a few things like budget, how far to travel and whether uk or abroad. We also don't all do the same things each day. I think you need to settle on a majority vote and those who don't want to go don't have to. So if the rest of you want Miami just tell PILs that is where you are going and they can take or leave it.

You are trying to please too many people, it will never work.

One thing my DH brought it, after a crappy holiday, was that we sat down after a holiday and talked about what worked well and what didn't. As holidays are expensive, they don't happen often, so you want to get it right.

For us this helped us figure out over a few years what sort of hotel we like, what is a waste of money for us and so on. To the point we now don't need the conversation as we both know what is going to work.

From what you have said, the first thing that would come up is 'planning it is so stressful, nobody wants the same things'.

So how can you make it less stressful? Expecting you, your DH, older DCs and both sets of parents to like the same holiday is a very big ask.
You can just stop sharing the holiday and go just with your DH and/or DCs, not expect everyone to stay the same length of time, not expect everyone to spend all day together. Expecting an 18 yr old and a 20 yr old to enjoy the same holiday as their grandparents, or even want to go with their grandparents is very unusual and essentially setting yourself up to fail.

Attempting to plan the same thing every year will get what you always get - a load of rows and nobody happy. You have to do something different.

@EmpressaurusOfTheScathingTinsel
Cat loves holidays - she's an indoor cat at home, or walks on a lead - her favourite holiday cottage has 20 acres, sheep, horses, she has a lovely time.

This is where a good independent travel agent can help you - everyone can brief them separately with equal input, and it's up to them to organise the best compromise.

No we just decide who has time to book it, and they get to choose where. We all get to say a couple of things we don’t want, and our budget, but other than that, up to them.

It's only me, oh and teenager that have a say but we can't agree