To wonder how people book holidays without arguments?

[Schne]

I’ve been in the process of planning this year’s family holiday for the past month now and still not decided where to go. It will be us, DC, my parents and PIL. It’s just so hard to find somewhere all 9 of us can agree on without arguing. I hate it and it’s so stressful every year. It’s like we’ll decide somewhere and at least someone will be put off by something or want to go somewhere else!

Does everyone else have this struggle??

How old are your dc??

I used to give ds a sheet of paper with some ideas on - not locations, things like 'sea' 'mountains' 'city' and get him to pick some options.

Tbh I wouldn't hand over my holiday choice to my ILs or my parents either unless they were paying

Mine get a quick consult at the beginning on what their priorities are. Are you giving your kids too much input here?

I actually went to all the places I really wanted to go alone.

I knew if I included friends the holiday would get screwed up with no one being 100% happy.

I think the issue is your trying to please too many people. I don't really know anyone who takes both sets of parents on holiday.

I'd decide where you DH and kids want to go, easiest way is to find somewhere that covers all the things people want to do.
Then tell parents "we have decided on going to x place on these dates, you are welcome to join us if you want, won't be offended if it doesn't suit"

I only go and organise holidays with my nuclear family. Holiday with that many people isn’t a holiday, it’s a nightmare

My DC only gets to have an input on a few activities they want to do at the destination I have chosen (like 2-3 things). They want to decide destination- they pay for the holiday.

Get everyone to pick 5 destinations (just country!) they would like and hope that there is one that is on every list and then when you have the country get the to do the same with specific areas.

Why go away with people that don't enjoy the same holidays as you?

If I go with DS I know what we all like so just pick and if we go with our friends & all the kids, I go with people that I know like the same holidays as us so we are looking for the same things.

No my twins are 20 and DS is 18 so they’ll be paying for themselves and if they’re paying for themselves I have to let the have input.

going on holiday by yourself is the easiest way.

I do take my cat, but she doesn't argue too much.

Jesus, your kids have all done well financially. Two 20yo and an 18yo have funds for a holiday to Miami! It was EasyJet/Ryanair to various parts of Europe for me at those ages. And I certainly couldn't fork out for what my parents would have considered an 'ideal' holiday.

Gawd. Just go where you want and say you'll be happy to see them if they want to book nearby. It's supposed to be fun!

The kids should go on their own with friends. They aren’t going to have anything like the same idea of what makes a good holiday as all 4 of their grandparents!

You’ve set yourself an impossible task. Give up and admit that it’s time to do separate trips.

Just go with your own family and its easy. The more people you take the more opinions you have to listen to.

If everyone is paying their own way you are never going to agree, different budgets, ages, expectations.

I would bow out and say since nobody can agree you aren’t organising it this year. See what happens and book where you want to go.

We just go us & the 2 kids. And the kids do not get a lot of say.

If you have reached the stage where your children are paying for themselves, it may be time to rethink the large group trips abroad. It’s just too many people to balance competing needs. Your children probably need to keep things cheap. The older generation probably places great value on comfort.

for a family holiday, book something local, quick to reach, and relatively inexpensive. Maybe rent some cottages by the beach for a few days. Let people do their big holiday independently.

I pick, I show my choice to my DM, if she likes it (she does, she'll holiday anywhere!), I book it and then afterwards she transfers me the cost of her and DFs part. Or what she guestimates that is, if I won't tell her how much it was.

If you are trying to find a holiday which will be ideal for 3 young people, 2 middle aged people and 4 older people, you are clearly on a hiding to nothing. Either everyone entrusts the choice to you without moaning, or you book for you and everyone else books for them.

My dc get the holidays we choose. That doesn’t mean we don’t consider them but we let them know the plan. They’re pretty easy to please though - pool, sea, tennis courts, ice cream and sun and we’re all happy. Last year we went to Orlando and did universal parks. So while we plan things we know the dc will enjoy we also pick them for us.

No because we're all very easy going people who just like visiting new places and don't really care where we go 😂 we've gone places with my parents and/or in-laws that I never would have picked myself and ended up having an amazing time.

You could always ask everyone for one suggestion and put them on a wheel or in a hat, and choose at random?

Going by yourself rocks.

I’ve never tried taking a cat though. Does she enjoy it?

My dh doesn't care where we go or for how long once I stick within an agreed budget, usually for us and youngest son.l only early in the summer.
Family holiday, usually at mid term in October, with dh, younger son, 2 adult kids and grand daughter, I'll send them the link for the hotel, usually there's no argument. I would then tell my sister/parents where we're going and when and if they'd like to join us, sometimes it's a yes sometimes it's a no.

I couldn't handle the drama of everyone disagreeing. I'm lucky enough that all mine don't care once they're going on holiday.

Ok give everyone a vote. Put forward where they wish to go. Then invite everyone round and draw it out a hat, whatever is picked you all go to.

I thought that too and was surprised a teenager was paying to go for a holiday long haul.

Op I assumed it was Grandparents and young children you were talking about.

Your children are young adults surely they are looking for nightlife?
Meanwhile the oldies will be looking for tranquility.

I think it's time for you and DH to decide on a destination to suit you both. And issue open invite.