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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

5 week old doesn't sleep

42 replies

imablue · 08/04/2024 19:57

I am at a loss with my 5 nearly 6 week old. He refuses to sleep much during the day, I'm not getting anything done or taking care of myself whatsoever because I feel like I'm constantly holding him to soothe him. He will fall asleep in my arms but he's awake as soon as I put him down in the basket.

When he feeds, he's fussing on the bottle then afterwards he's sick and brings up some of the feed. And wriggling around constantly and grunting like he's restless. Then he seems hungry again 1-2 hours later and same issue.

I feel like I'm in a vicious cycle. I'm just not enjoying the newborn stage and feel like I'm wishing time away until things get easier.

Any tips please?

OP posts:
Kdubs1981 · 08/04/2024 19:58

This is hard, I had this and there are no way answers. A sling was an absolute life saver though. Stretchy wrap, he'll prob sleep in that and you can get the odd thing done

Justbrowsing2024 · 08/04/2024 19:59

Get a sling so your hands are free. Time will help. It's brutal but this is normal for this age

SheRasBra · 08/04/2024 20:03

Sorry you're having such a hard time. Have you got a Health Visitor for any support about the feeding? Could be that he's colicky and so not settling. Is he getting up his wind ok? So difficult to know without seeing him but so exhausting for you. Agree with those saying to use a sling so you have hands free.

Newbie887 · 08/04/2024 20:04

I also recommend a sling. The ergobaby 360 with a newborn insert is very good and suitable for your baby’s age. Mine always fell asleep in theirs. Stretchy wrap also good for sleeping but mine got too heavy for them around 6 months so it was a fairly short term investment.

it may be your baby has some wind / reflux. Sleeping upright in a carrier will help with the reflux. You can lay him on his back and Massage his tummy / bicycle his legs to relieve wind. Look on YouTube for videos.

sending you lots of love, like above posters have said this behaviour isn’t unusual for 5 weeks, the first 6 months are brutal. Don’t worry about where / when he is “meant” to be sleeping. All babies are different and most don’t adhere to the schedules and sleeping places that books say they should be. Just do what it easiest until things get easier themselves x

calligraphee · 08/04/2024 20:05

Agree this is pretty standard, he wants to know you're there. A sling can help as others say.

WhatAreThey · 08/04/2024 20:05

All he knows it being inside a human, hearing her heart beat, feeling comfy in warm amniotic fluid, dark and cosy.

Now he's in the big bad world. So much happening. Noises, different intensity and frequency of light (flashes), smells, textures etc.

He needs his mum close and calm. Just do your best and he'll soon be more independent.

Bournetilly · 08/04/2024 20:06

I’m sorry. This is normal but it gets easier, I found the newborn stage so hard.

Do you have a partner or family who can hold baby whilst they sleep? Or trying a sling is a good idea, mine never liked them though. We changed babies formula from the normal one to the comfort one which really helped.

CardinalCat · 08/04/2024 20:06

Totally normal and would actually be stranger if this weren't the case. It's classic fourth trimester behaviour (and I remember it well!) I agree that a stretchy sling is the best way for your baby to get what it needs (to be close to your body and hear your heartbeat) while freeing up your hands!
It does change as they get bigger so try not to fret.

Gowlett · 08/04/2024 20:06

My baby was the same. Just wanted to be close to me. Which is lovely (he’s still the same) but I had to hand him over (to Daddy) just to get some sleep. He never napped alone, didn’t sleep much at night, stayed up late. A sling worked well.

Birch101 · 08/04/2024 20:07

Honestly sounds kinda standard of my experience, lots of contact didn't do much apart from care and hold baby. Go to your Local walk in clinic / talk to HV at your 6-8 week review regarding feeding to see if anything might be of concern and definitely go to local sling library and try some out

MolkosTeenageAngst · 08/04/2024 20:08

Have you tried different bottles and/ or different formula (assuming you’re not expressing)? It sounds like he could have reflux, have you mentioned this to your health visitor or midwife?

Original poster
imablue · 08/04/2024 20:08

I do have a sling but I find it uncomfortable to wear after a while, my back really hurts. As far as I can see the fit is correct but maybe another sling would help so I'll look into that.

He's not great at getting wind up either to be honest. We have recently changed his milk from Cow and Gate to Kendamil but at the minute I'm not convinced by it

OP posts:
TipsyKoala · 08/04/2024 20:09

Sorry you’re having a hard time. My DC was similar. Could put her down, terrible wind! I don’t know what formula you use but Hipp organic made such a difference with both mine in reducing wind. Feed with baby more upright and lots of burping. Just remember, it’s a phase a baby will grow out of it.

Luxell934 · 08/04/2024 20:09

What do you actually need to get done that’s urgent? Housework can wait. No harm
in letting them cry for 5 mins while you jumper in the shower if your partner is at work. Just sit yourself on the sofa with loads of snacks watch Netflix and feed your baby. You could also try wearing them in a sling, my baby loves being in the sling. Will they sleep if you take them out for a long walk in the pram?

Gowlett · 08/04/2024 20:10

Interesting how the experience so far here is similar.
Yet, when you read baby books… It is very hard, OP.

MummySam2017 · 08/04/2024 20:12

Hi OP, congratulations on your beautiful bundle. Do you feed baby in an upright position and burp after every oz or so? Sometimes bubs may be fussy with the the bottle because they need a burp and experience discomfort when it’s trapped. I’d also agree with a sling, they are great for pottering around the house and keeping baby close.

I’d say take feeding slow and burp after each oz, as tedious as that may feel, it’ll possibly reduce the fussiness with feeding.

p.s. I used to do ‘around the world’ on my knees, and got the biggest burps.

Shelllendyouhertoothbrush · 08/04/2024 20:13

Oh no, I had one of these types. Eventually they stop. I held mine about 22 hours a day for about 7 months then he turned nice. Eventually it will get easier, and you'll have accidentally made a very well adjusted, emotionally mature child because you met their every need as a small baby and were constantly attached to them. But until then, I send you love and strength. I still come out in a nervous rash when I see small babies.

Sparklesocks · 08/04/2024 20:14

It’s really tough. Try a sling as others have suggested. I didn’t enjoy the newborn stage either, I much preferred when smiles/laughs etc started and baby got bigger. I think there’s a lot of pressure to enjoy the newborn stage, and yes the cuddles etc are lovely but I think more people than you realise feel the same way. And a lot parents look back with a nostalgia twinged lens and forget the bad bits!

It’s absolutely fine not to enjoy it and think it’s hard. Have you got anyone who can relieve you for a few hours and come watch the baby while you catch up on sleep? Things seem a lot more manageable when you’ve had a decent snooze.

Maneandfeathers · 08/04/2024 20:14

It does eventually get better, hang in there. I’ve had 3 and they have all been similar at this age.

Have you got a sling? I found putting them in there meant I got a bit more done. Other than that I used it as an opportunity to watch lots of box sets!

Also have him checked for reflux. DC3 was the same as yours and anti-reflux milk saved my sanity!

NoliteTeBastardesCarborundorum · 08/04/2024 20:15

Can't believe nobody has said dummy yet? Absolute game changer for staying asleep.

My first was like this and the other thing that helps is changing your mentality to jot being able to put them down+enjoy the exercise/podcasts while baby is in pram/sling; and also build in time where they nap on you on sofa with remote and snacks ready; same applies for doing life admin. It does get easier and after a year they will just be having one nap at lunchtime!

SouthLondonMum22 · 08/04/2024 20:16

Let him cry whilst you shower, eat etc your needs are important too and it won’t hurt him.

Could he possibly have reflux?

Rainingcatsandmice · 08/04/2024 20:17

How sick is he? Mine was very similar but vomiting was projectile after every feed. Is he gaining weight?

Original poster
imablue · 08/04/2024 20:18

He does have a dummy but he constantly spits it out. I have tried different brands of dummy but he just doesn't seem to like it.

I'm convinced he has reflux, but when I mentioned it to the GP she basically fobbed me off and said it's because his digestive system is still maturing. Which I understand to a degree, but I still feel like something isn't right

OP posts:
Vvvvvvvvv · 08/04/2024 20:19

It sounds like he has silent reflux, my DD was the same, baby omeprazole really helped, I'd speak to GP or health visitor x

Original poster
imablue · 08/04/2024 20:19

Rainingcatsandmice · 08/04/2024 20:17

How sick is he? Mine was very similar but vomiting was projectile after every feed. Is he gaining weight?

I wouldn't say it's a severe amount but it's still a fair bit of the feed coming back up. He hasn't been weighed for about 3 weeks but he was gaining at that point

OP posts:
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