5 week old doesn't sleep

[imablue]

I am at a loss with my 5 nearly 6 week old. He refuses to sleep much during the day, I'm not getting anything done or taking care of myself whatsoever because I feel like I'm constantly holding him to soothe him. He will fall asleep in my arms but he's awake as soon as I put him down in the basket.

When he feeds, he's fussing on the bottle then afterwards he's sick and brings up some of the feed. And wriggling around constantly and grunting like he's restless. Then he seems hungry again 1-2 hours later and same issue.

I feel like I'm in a vicious cycle. I'm just not enjoying the newborn stage and feel like I'm wishing time away until things get easier.

Any tips please?

I would say keep going back to your GP or health visitor especially if you feel it isn’t quite right. My son had a pyloric stenosis causing his vomiting but I was fobbed off so many times by GP. Pyloric stenosis is very common particularly in first born boys but I’d never heard of it. His vomiting though became increasingly forceful and he’d be hungry again shortly after being sick. He also started to lose weight.

Hi op, congratulations as others have said, and also, I really feel you. Newborn days are hard - I found them really tricky, and it did shift, but it doesn’t mean it’s okay at the time.

I’ve got two bigger kids now, but I’ve been listening to the Child series on BBC sounds and it’s got so much amazing info as to what’s happening during pregnancy and after babies are born. I wonder if episodes from here might be handy with some extra insight into what the hell happens in these early days!

https://www.bbc.co.uk/sounds/play/m001xl5g?partner=uk.co.bbc&origin=share-mobile

If you’re struggling (I did so much!) I’d really encourage you to talk to someone - your gp, health visitor, partner, friend or family… it’s a time like no other and it can be very hard and lonely, even with all the good bits.

good luck!

Oh, and I think they often start to smile soon, it definitely helps.

Kendamil is amazing stick with it

Sounds like reflux though - try Colief

Also possible tongue tie - get it double checked.

This is totally normal. Sorry no one will have told you or prepared you for it.

its okay to find it hard…but you really shouldn’t be expecting to do much….this is your job now, and at present you’re in the intense high stakes part of a project 🤣….again it’s a shame we can’t be more truthful and properly prepare women.

1. Don’t be expecting to do too much, but try;
2. Slings are game changing, if you’re struggling with comfort do not just buy a new one…..go to a Sling Library. I’m certain you’ll have one close by. Take your current sling and they might help you get it comfortable or suggest some others, the whole point of it is you can borrow the ones they have on the library to try find one that works for you and they will help make sure you wearing it so it’s comfortable
3. If they’re crying whilst you shower pop them in the baby bouncer in front of the shower so they can see you and you can talk to them - if you can’t avoid it fine but there are lots of things to try before you do this. You don’t need a fancy bouncer either
4. In the Moses do you use a baby sleeping bag at night?….If not get some, if you do start using it durning the day as well as at night when you put them down in the Moses sometimes helps for them to feel nice and secure physically.
5. Dummy

Oh sorry forgot to say my DC was always being sick…..it wasn’t forceful and they were gaining weight….some babies are sick a lot. Again it’s normal. Them being in serious discomfort and not gaining weight is not. Grim to deal with tho. Muslins are your friend.

They always fob you off @imablue

I had the same - my baby clearly had a lactose intolerance and reflux and they just ignored me.

all of his fussiness and wind and discomfort disappeared nearly overnight when we put lactase in his formula.

Try some Colief.

I basically sat on the sofa for 6 months. It was very hard.

Op I had the same with my eldest. Was also convinced she had reflux as she was so unsettled etc but really it was just how she was as a baby. A few things that may help. Their awake window is very, very short at this age. Maybe 30/45/60 mins only. After that, they get very wired and cranky and it sounds like you have a baby that won’t just fall asleep when tired so I would try and be getting him off to nap or sleep after a feed in a short awake time.

Have you tried white noise? I had an app with various noises on - one of mine particularly like the “bustling market” noise so doesn’t have to be the standard white noise sound! But play it loud.

Slings as others have suggested - try and find a sling library, you can try a few and also get the fit checked.

It’s hard to get baby in a routine at this age but do try and get yourself in one for things like getting washed, dressed. It doesn’t matter if he cries while you shower, you must take care of yourself.

My DS was much the same when he was that age so I can totally sympathise. What really helped was DH taking over so I could nap, as well as chatting with GP/HV

Try a stretchy wrap sling one like this. https://www.boots.com/moby-elements-wrap-babycarrier-hydro-10325301?cm_mmc=bmm-buk-google-ppc--PLAs_HeroCompare---_-PMax:+UK_Smart_Shopping_Baby&gad_source=1&gclid=Cj0KCQjwq86wBhDiARIsAJhuphmGuakpvcoi6QGne1aVPvtj5A9N5V0TcDr_JtA052_urtxlmB4suUAaAqVeEALw_wcB&gclsrc=aw.ds

Other makes are available.

I use to literally wear my sling all day as you can pop baby in and out of these. I have a bad back and found one like this much better for my back as the weight is better distributed. And yes unfortunately a lot of newborns are like this and it's totally normal. Also keeping him upright may help with the wind and being sick. Often normal in a lot of newborns to.

It will get easier.

Do you use Dr Brown Bottles? We did they were a Game changer as they take in far less air.

I also found powdered formular worse. Maybe try a premade and see if it makes a difference.

Overfeeding will cause fussyness too and then vomiting, its a vicious circle, keep trying the Dummy as it does help with trapped wind.

Sounds like my dd she had colic and was put on baby gaviscone. Defo have a chat with HV or GP xx

Honestly both of mine napped in my arms (or DH's) or while moving in the sling/car/pram for the first 4-6 months. I lowered my expectations massively and just embraced watching a lot of Netflix.

See if there's a sling library near you, it's where you can try a few different slings to see which works best for you then hire it for a few months.
Does he sleep in the pram? Maybe a walk would settle him and he might stay asleep in the pram for a bit when you get home.
Also worth talking to health visitor about the feeding just in case he has reflux or colic or something like that causing him to be unsettled

Sounds pretty normal unfortunately, it’s a shock at first but not unusual for the newborn stage. For the first few months getting things done and doing things for yourself is a luxury that many don’t get, but it does pass quickly.

A sling saved my sanity, I never got on with fabric ones but I loved my ergo baby 360, it yours is hurting your back then maybe see if there’s a sling bank near you to try some others out and find one that works for you?

You could try a baby swing? Both mine loved it. Gives you 10 minutes to get something down. Then a bouncy chair and take it with you when you shower etc .
It does get easier.

• done

Yep, mine was like this too. 8 months of me constantly holding him and he then started to get easier. Huge change at around 16 months and sleep seemed to click into place for him. Just got to keep going, one day at a time. Ask for help from family and friends. Agree that the sling is a game changer. Your body is still recovering from being pregnant and giving birth. Gradually your core will get stronger and then your back should hurt less. It all just takes time.