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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To not go on regular holidays with the in laws now that we’re paying?

51 replies

Ginspirational · 07/04/2024 21:00

Maybe I am being a little unreasonable but for the last 5 years, my in laws have (very kindly) paid for us to go abroad with them. We couldn’t afford it, and we never asked, but obviously never said no.

Now the family is growing, we have a DD and SIL has a DS and another on the way, they’ve said they can’t keep paying for us to go abroad, which is absolutely understandable and we aren’t upset by it. We’ve always been very grateful.

However.. because they always paid, the holidays were very much run at their pace, we did what they wanted to do, and everything had to be done together. The holidays weren’t exactly relaxing, and honestly were a bit stressful.

Now we’ve come on quite a bit, we’ve bought a house and are both in well paid jobs so can now afford to go abroad, albeit only once a year. My DH thinks we have to continue doing the annual holiday with his family to not make it look as though we were ‘using them’, whereas I’d really like to go away just the 3 of us. We can only afford one..

Am I being unreasonable, do we look really ungrateful because we only went away with them when we couldn’t afford it ourselves? Should I just do it every other year?

OP posts:
CJ0374 · 08/04/2024 00:45

We couldn’t afford it, and we never asked, but obviously never said no.
Why didn't you ever say no? Why is it obvious you wouldn't say no, despite saying that you didn't enjoy it?

Is the holiday to a cultural homeland where you all have extended family etc, or just a holiday place your in-laws go to? Could you go ever 2nd year or phase it out if no cultural connections? I agree with taking the in-law away somewhere, even if the UK- but only what you can afford. Then make your own holiday plans abroad.

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