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AIBU?

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Original poster

What would you do

32 replies

cloudxo · 07/04/2024 19:06

Okay I'll keep it short basically earlier on today I was upstairs sleeping with my daughter because I didn't feel well, my partner was downstairs, he was listening to the song beautiful girl by Sean Kingston.. recorded a snip of the song and sent a message to someone saying I listen to this when I miss you and the kids, initially I thought it was coming to me, but it didn't.. so I thought nothing of it and thought maybe his sister or something, it's been playing on my mind for hours I looked on his phone recently to make a call and there are no messages to his sister, just his friends and obviously it's not going to his friends.. now I'm paranoid if I mention it he's obviously going to deny and I can't prove anything either.. and it will more that likely cause an argument. So what would you do?

OP posts:
cardibach · 07/04/2024 19:08

I don’t understand. How do you know about the message if it didn't come to you?

curlysue1991 · 07/04/2024 19:10

Is it possible you dreamt it 🤦‍♀️

IncognitoUsername · 07/04/2024 19:10

How did you see the message??

Original poster
cloudxo · 07/04/2024 19:11

cardibach · 07/04/2024 19:08

I don’t understand. How do you know about the message if it didn't come to you?

He speaks it in to his phone rather than typing it

OP posts:
Original poster
cloudxo · 07/04/2024 19:12

curlysue1991 · 07/04/2024 19:10

Is it possible you dreamt it 🤦‍♀️

I was definitely awake, he thought I was sleeping but I was just laying down doing some emails

OP posts:
Original poster
cloudxo · 07/04/2024 19:13

IncognitoUsername · 07/04/2024 19:10

How did you see the message??

He speak it into his phone rather than typing out the message

OP posts:
DoreenonTill8 · 07/04/2024 19:13

How do you know he sent a message if you didn't see it?

bingoringo4 · 07/04/2024 19:13

Why don't you just ask him?

Original poster
cloudxo · 07/04/2024 19:14

bingoringo4 · 07/04/2024 19:13

Why don't you just ask him?

He's quite hot headed he will get defensive obviously I don't want to cause an argument if it was innocent

OP posts:
Loafbeginsat60 · 07/04/2024 19:15

It must have been for you unless he's got kids with someone else that you don't know about! Maybe it didn't send properly

Macadamia20 · 07/04/2024 19:15

I think you need to confront him about this and don't let him gaslight you if you are sure you heard correctly

cheddercherry · 07/04/2024 19:16

I’d honestly just have to ask him, it would drive me mad going over possibilities. You know what you heard so he’ll either be able to explain it or if he says otherwise you’ll know he’s lying. Then you go from there.

There could be a reason - could he be making something like a video gift and recording voice notes as part of a gift for you etc. But to be honest asking him outright will pull an instant reaction and if it was my DH I’d know right away if he was lying/ been caught out.

There shouldn’t be a reason to be defensive unless he’s defensive because he’s hiding something (or someone) so I think that in itself would be your answer.

IncognitoUsername · 07/04/2024 19:16

I’d have to ask him. Has he got other children from a previous relationship?

Original poster
cloudxo · 07/04/2024 19:16

Macadamia20 · 07/04/2024 19:15

I think you need to confront him about this and don't let him gaslight you if you are sure you heard correctly

100% it was quite in the house my bedroom is at the top of the stairs..

OP posts:
Bobskeleton · 07/04/2024 19:17

If it's something sinister then it's quite reckless to voice note with you in hearing distance.

Daffodilsarentfluffy · 07/04/2024 19:17

Just tell him you haven't received his message......

bingoringo4 · 07/04/2024 19:18

@cloudxo I get that. But you could just "oh btw who was you sending that message to earlier?" That way it doesn't come across like your accusing him of anything.

Original poster
cloudxo · 07/04/2024 19:18

Bobskeleton · 07/04/2024 19:17

If it's something sinister then it's quite reckless to voice note with you in hearing distance.

This was what I thought! But at the same time he thought I was sleeping

OP posts:
DrJoanAllenby · 07/04/2024 19:18

I heard you listing to x song and then speak a text message to someone saying you listen to this when you miss them and the kids. Who were you texting?

What will he say to that? That he is friends with a Goat farmer?

Has he got children with another woman?

Original poster
cloudxo · 07/04/2024 19:19

IncognitoUsername · 07/04/2024 19:16

I’d have to ask him. Has he got other children from a previous relationship?

He doesn't, all that comes to mind other than me if his sister, but then my mind wonders thinking if he's been seeing someone else that has kids

OP posts:
HoHoHoliday · 07/04/2024 19:22

You were upstairs, he was downstairs, with music playing, speaking into a phone. How could you hear clearly from a different floor and over music?

cardibach · 07/04/2024 19:22

cloudxo · 07/04/2024 19:11

He speaks it in to his phone rather than typing it

Show quote history

But how do you know if you were sleeping? And how do you know it had the recording?

DojaPhat · 07/04/2024 19:23

Other than this is there anything else that makes you feel suspect about his fidelity?

And why would you look at his call records rather than messages / whatsapp or any other messaging app. It's possible to hide certain conversations within messaging apps but then you'd have noticed he's very particular with his phone.

Having said all this - it really could just be nothing. It's a bit of an odd song in the context of sending it to someone when he misses 'them' and the kids.

Original poster
cloudxo · 07/04/2024 19:24

HoHoHoliday · 07/04/2024 19:22

You were upstairs, he was downstairs, with music playing, speaking into a phone. How could you hear clearly from a different floor and over music?

The song was playing and it stopped, I heard him playing out a snippet over his phone rather than Alexa, he spoke "I listen to this when I miss you and the kids" he then listened the the snippet on his phone again and sent it to somebody

OP posts:
IncognitoUsername · 07/04/2024 19:24

There are only two reasonable options here - either it was to you and it didn’t send or he is seeing someone else. I think you are going to have to speak to him about it or you’ll drive yourself mad wondering