Can a sensible 15 year old (year 10 and 15.6 months A*student) look after younger sibling 12 with Sen for 2 hours?

[WineLass]

As stated, I have a 15 year old DC (A* student - the reason this is relevant as I think it shows how capable they are with decisions etc and in general to life)

DC2 12 has SEN but adores his DC. I normally work around school and child care and always there when school finishes but have been asked to attend an important meeting that only occurs 2/3 times a year. Normally I can get childcare but grandparents are poorly so my choices are to to say to work I can’t make it or to
leave DC 12 with DC15?

Part of me thinks well DC is 12 but well behaved and other DC will be 16 next so I’d more than capable of watching them for an hour or 2…. It’s not like they’re 7 and 3…..

I never leave them alone but think I’m OTT in general so why are your thoughts?

Really depends on who dc are affected by their sen. Can the keep th child safe? Are they liable to dangerous behaviours that need adult supervision?

It’s absolutely impossible to say without knowing the extent of the SEN and their behaviour in general! I’ve worked with some children that age who would only ever be left with 2 full grown experienced adults minimum so I’m not sure how any of us can judge it tbh.

That’s pretty much it - you’ve hit the nail on the head whilst trying to be a dick - but you’re right. All great if my other kid had the same ability, wow lucky me?! But no, DC 12 had an EHCP can’t read and write and is about 5 years behind academically.

Yeah my posts are just to brag…. 🙄

@WineLass, I was in the G&T set at secondary. I excelled at A-level, and went on to study in an extremely difficult field.

I'm 40 now, and have always had the common sense of a fucking doorknob. I'd dearly love to have common sense, but the little bit I have I had to learn.

Grades mean NOTHING. I'm a mum of three and you don't get grades for parenting. If there was such a thing, I'd be going through constant resits!

Your 15yo isn't special for being a decent GCSE student - lots of us were brilliant. It doesn't mean anything day to day, believe me.

Agreed! If OP said they were a Scout Leader or something maybe but grades are irrelevant

Is this a joke? Are you seriously saying you've never left them before at this age? How on earth will they ever get any independence? 15 year olds used to be in work!

Ah I think they are getting a hard time. To me they obviously meant that the eldest is sensible.

As long as both kids are happy with it and the youngests needs aren't such that he is violent or prone to running off or whatever then I'd have no issue at all.

And that’s all you’re getting from my initial post? That’s all you can focus on?

Right now having another child that is 5 years behind, compared to one that’s ahead, there IS a difference in that I can trust one in situations that I can’t trust the other.

Might not work for you but don’t assume it’s the same for me

Thank you 🙏 I agree. I dared say I had one clever child academically and that’s enough to rile people up. Exactly what you say, DC15 is much more sensible that DC 12 at the same age.

DC 12 has SEN and an EHCP do not it’s certainly not a joke. They have higher needs than the average child and that’s the reason for this post

@WineLass just ignore the people who haven’t even bothered to read your posts properly.

Hope it all goes well for your meeting.

My nearly 15 year old watches her sister age 12 and brother with SEN age 10 for an hour if I walk the dog or pop to the supermarket. It depends on both your children, but if older one is trustworthy and younger one is not too high needs then I would say fine. At that age I was babysitting sometimes up to 4 children under the age of 12 both daytime and evening into night.

For me it would depend on the needs of your younger DS.

If it's a case of functioning around 7yo then fine. I often looked after my brother from age 13/14 when he was 6/7.

If your younger ds has associated behavioural needs that you worry your ds wouldn't be able to manage them I'd look at getting someone with experience you can call on to do care within your house.

I get what you mean re grades as you only have that to compare ability of your 2 DS's. But it's honestly irrelevant with regards ability to care for your younger ds - that will purely come done to needs.

My ds managed 8/9's maths and science at GCSE with a spelling age of 7, reading age of 13 and severe problems with executive function. He just has an amazing and photographic memory for facts and very logical mind!!!

I wouldn't leave him in charge of another human I valued and he's 19 now 🫣😂

As long as your 15yr old happy & 10yr old ok with the idea then I would say it was fine.
many years ago I would look after, my 3yrs younger, SEN sibling for increasing spells from my being aged 10 (some being mum just popping next door for 20mins)

I left my eldest with adhd home alone at that age for a couple of hours. It would depend on their needs really, you’ve mentioned their academic struggles but how does their SEN affect their behaviour/decision making etc. Are they likely to have a meltdown for example that would be difficult for eldest to deal with? Are they likely to do anything unsafe?
If YOU feel they’d be ok, and you have a plan for them to follow in different urgent situations, then I’m sure they will be fine xxx

My sensible 13yo takes their 10yo sibling home every day, because I have to work and provide for them. 10yo walks by themselves to older DC's school and then they take a bus and walk home together. They stay at home for 2,5h until I get home. Every day Monday-Fr. This is our situation and there's nothing I can do to improve it in the near future.
Your DCs will be fine for one day. Done worry.

I’m chuckling (not meanly) at the grades too. Have spent the weekend helping my grade 7-9 predictions Y11 nephew revise, and then today he didn’t know how to get the train home, despite having taken it before. I wouldn’t trust him to feed a cat for a day.

It’ll be fine!