Can a sensible 15 year old (year 10 and 15.6 months A*student) look after younger sibling 12 with Sen for 2 hours?

[WineLass]

As stated, I have a 15 year old DC (A* student - the reason this is relevant as I think it shows how capable they are with decisions etc and in general to life)

DC2 12 has SEN but adores his DC. I normally work around school and child care and always there when school finishes but have been asked to attend an important meeting that only occurs 2/3 times a year. Normally I can get childcare but grandparents are poorly so my choices are to to say to work I can’t make it or to
leave DC 12 with DC15?

Part of me thinks well DC is 12 but well behaved and other DC will be 16 next so I’d more than capable of watching them for an hour or 2…. It’s not like they’re 7 and 3…..

I never leave them alone but think I’m OTT in general so why are your thoughts?

Doss your child with SEN have very significant needs?
When I was 14 I used to babysit 4 kids under 12 when their parents went to the supermarket /out for a few hours.
When I was 16 I minded two little kids each day for 2 months while their mum was unwell.

Unless your 12 yr old has signifant needs and your 15 year old minds, this really should be totally fine

Is your elder child happy to do it?

Depends on the needs of the 12yo. A 12 yo should be fine on their own for two hours, without needing to be 'looked after'. What special needs does the 12yo have that they need to have someone with them, and that a 15yo might not be able to cope with?

@Mylobsterteapot You are describing me perfectly so I suspect you're absolutely right 😂

Depends on the SEN, a 12 year old with behavioural difficulties could be more challenging than a baby or a tantruming two year old you can pick up. However, it doesn't sound like this is the situation here.

Indeed

@Mylobsterteapot that made me smile as tbh that's my experience!

At 15 and 12? Er yeah.

I disagree with this in that if it is a regular thing then both will know exactly what is required of them.

Unless the sibling's SEN mean they might be given to risky (eg running out of the house into the street, putting themselves in danger unless watched) or aggressive, or they have medical needs that mean they might experience emergency situations frequently, I don't see any reason why not.

Lots of people saying it's fine with no idea of the level of SEN or the relationship between the children.

OP, noone here can possibly advise you. It could be fine or an absolute disaster.

Take SEN out of the equation and it should be absolutely fine. The SEN makes it a massive unknown.

Imagine everything going wrong that could possibly go wrong...how would your children react? Would the child with SEN have an absolute meltdown and be completely distressed and unable to be coped with by older child? Would younger child listen to older one? Is older one able to pick up on things that might trigger younger child before it's too late? We just can't tell.

But how did they cope, when they're clearly not bright enough to do it?!?

There’s SEN and then there’s SEN…both my dc have SEN but it doesn’t affect their behaviour (and they are A* students). My nephew is the same age and also has “SEN” but is severely incapacitated; low IQ, erratic and unpredictable behaviour and violent outbursts. He has a 1-2-1 TA at school and will never live indpendently.

How negligent of you, but perhaps understandable as A*s haven't been a thing for a few years now. Unless OP is going to throw igcses into the mix, I think they still use letter grades

It depends on the 12 year olds needs and how difficult they are to manage. You can’t just go off the ages. If the 12 year old is cooperative and there’s no likelihood of a health emergency it should be fine.

Still a thing in Wales actually...

I am leaving my 15 year old, 12 year old and 8 year old alone for 6.5 hours tomorrow while I work so fine in my book unless the 12 year old’s needs are very high.

I think it's fine. My eldest child is very sensible and was perfectly capable with her much younger brother who has autism. Indeed I once had absolutely no choice but to leave them together (she was 15 and he was 3) because my ex-husband made a serious but false allegation against me and I was arrested and kept at the station for around 7 hours. They didn't care that my son has SN and said she was old enough at 15 to care for him. The complaint that followed was another story....

I think at that age, with a good relationship and for a relatively short period, it will be fine. It is also good for their confidence. I'd ensure that they could call on a trusted neighbour in an emergency and can reach you quickly by phone.

Thank you for the replies. I’ll be setting off early tomorrow so they won’t be almone but good to get opinions.

I didn’t mean to offend regarding DC’s grades. DC 12 wouldn’t get a G or a grade 1, I could only hope they could an achieve an E/F as that would mean they could at least follow the carriculum.

Grades don’t equal success and ability always but I felt it was relevant as DC 12 struggles so much with SEN that having DC 15 academically very able would show they are capable in situations DC 12 isn’t.

How do we know they’re an A* student at the age of 15? Their first opportunity to sit an exam on the A-G scale won’t come until 6th form.

I agree with some PPs who say it depends on the level of SNs. I never left my DS to look after his DS even as an older teenager, as it was always me, DH or a qualified nurse and carer needed to look after her. But she had high medical needs. If your DC has a moderate learning disability and no behaviour issues then I can't see a problem - as long as they have a responsible adult they can contact by phone in an emergency

Agreed. My DP's 19yo sister was a star student at school, but can't wipe her own arse with both hands without instructions.

Not sure why you brought grades into this tbh. Is the kid sensible, caring etc? Knows what to do in an emergency? Knows how to prepare a simple meal your DC will eat? That's what's important here, not being an A* student.

Not that it’s relevant as I’ve explained why I used that example…. But the reason I assume they are an A* student is that their target GCSE grades are all 8’s. That’s what they’d report says and has done for the last 3 years

Yes of course its fine but YABU mentioning their grades. Academic ability does not equal common sense (the opposite in many cases).

Given that your exceptionally gifted offspring is an A* student, they can excel in anything with minimal effort. That's how genius youngsters function. I'm so jealous.