AIBU to not do homework with reception age DC?

[SunStorms]

I fear I may be…

I didn’t go through the UK education system and didn’t start learning to read and write until I was 7 so the UK system is alien to me. We never had homework at primary age so I have no idea what is normal here.

I read to my reception age DC every night, we do lots of craft activities, learn about nature, science and history together, they have a great general knowledge, I thought I was doing fine as a parent but…

School send home a reading book, a phonics and maths worksheet every few weeks. We do them. It seemed like a lot to me as I never had homework at 7, let alone 4!

Except it seems the school expected me to be practicing reading/phonics and maths with them using an app regularly. We relocated to the UK just before DC started school so I missed the parents’ induction meeting. We haven’t been doing it until another mum mentioned it on a play date. The school hasn’t said anything but after asking other parents, it seems everyone else has been doing it daily or at least several times a week. I feel awful 😞 My DC is a long way off the end of year goals. I had no idea.

If you are in the UK, how often do you practice writing, reading, phonics, maths etc with your reception age child? Daily, several times a week, weekly, occasionally, never? How long do you spend doing it?

I thought I could make a personalised poll in AIBU but I can’t even get that right 😩

DC isn’t bilingual although they do speak some of the language of the country I grew up in. We were in an English speaking country before.

I'm pretty certain the majority of parents of reception children aren't practising phonics with their child OP. If you want to great but don't worry if not, especially if your child is on track. Phonics is absolutely hammered in schools and a lot of kids get it without any additional practice. I've never worked in a school that has set phonics homework.

Yes, if they are reading phonics books that is enough.

It's the school's job to worry about the eyfs goals, not yours! If you're worried go in and speak to them.
We have 2 reading books a week that we are supposed to read 3x each (we usually manage do them twice) and about 4 worksheets per week on writing or maths.

These are extra practice but my child does her learning in school - she certainly isn't learning new things from the homework. She is doing really well with minimal input from us (although like you we talk about things, do craft, read stories etc).

If your child is behind the school should have notified you - why hasn't there been a parents evening? There's normally 1 per term at primary? The school don't sound great to be honest. They should be keeping you informed of what your child is learning in school each week.

Number bonds are the pairs of numbers that add up to 10 (I found out at parents' evening that we were supposed to be practicing those) e.g. 4 and 6. Easy to practice and useful.

If DD is writing, I remind her about letter formation. They do that a lot at school though, so I don't worry about it too much. Remember that a sentence can be 3 words.

DH works full time and I work 4 days per week. DC5 is in afterschool club those 4 days so the most we do is read her reading book (perhaps 2 of those 4 days and on the weekend). The school is really good about sending home ideas of additional learning to do and has just started to set some maths tasks, but we don’t really do them, we don’t have time. DC5 loves to write and so will often grab herself some paper and write lists of things and is starting to write sentences, but this is off her own back. Her letter formation is not great but she will not accept instruction from me on how to form the letters properly, so we don’t do any of that. I’d rather let her work that out and not quell her enthusiasm for writing by criticising.

I don’t believe that everyone else will be doing loads at home. We live in an affluent area with largely engaged and interested parents and DC’s TA proactively came up to me and praised the amount of reading we do at home, which suggests we are doing more than most.

Aside from reading, I am hugely against homework at primary school. I resent them dictating what enriching activities to do and when.

Why don’t you arrange to go into school and have a chat with them. You can find out what they expect and regard as the norm and find out how your child is doing compared to the goals that are set in that school. Once you are armed with all the information, you can make an informed decision as a parent about what you do, and don’t want to do.

Edited to add: I think it would be worth explaining to them that you have no previous experience of the schooling system in England.

Are you bilingual?

I really wouldn’t worry about it, OP. What you’re doing sounds more than enough. You certainly haven’t failed your DC.

I have a DC in reception and our school only sends home phonics books, nothing else. My friends with DCs in other local schools talk about “the school apps” and I’m secretly really glad we don’t have any of that, I’d hate to feel obliged to do things on a screen for school.

We just read the phonics book every night and the rest is just whatever DC wants to do - board games with counting, writing just using the pens and paper that are out, on DC’s little craft table, l lo reading a non-fiction book from the library about animals. I honestly believe at this age it’s about sparking curiosity and enjoyment of learning, rather than filling in worksheets/completing apps, so I’d just keep doing what you’re doing…and maybe add in watching Number Blocks as a quick win!

I refused to use an app.
We read actual books and he does a few sums and spelling which are age appropriate.
I won't have him in school for 7.5 hours a day and then start homework.

It's young, however. I used to teach. We would have secondary age students coming through that couldn't read. Had never read a book. Parents dumbfounded but equally had never tried reading with them to realise! Parents should take an active part in their child's schooling. As long as you make sure they're on track with basic skills is fine.

I can tell the difference between a child who does extra at home to a child who doesn’t. Most children can get by but in classrooms these days there is so much missed learning. I do extra with my dd. That’s only since working at a school though.

It's a bit of a catch 22. I strongly disagree with U.K. starting age of 4, but if you're in it, it's best to try to have the child keep up as it can start to effect their self esteem if they become conscious of falling very behind. Just ten minutes a day. U.K. system invests so much time in assessment/reporting/grouping from age 4. It really affects a child's relationship with learning, as I feel many 4 year olds are square pegs being squeezed into round holes - when they'd be organically round by age 6/7 anyway - parents stressing out when teacher has negative feedback that's often related to it just being too bloody soon. Also, whether or not homework is "needed" depends hugely on the calibre of teaching and teacher-child ratio in my view. Add to this that not every child can learn effectively in a class of 30, and it leads me to believe a bit of homework can be a bit of a safety net.

It depends a lot on how your child is doing - easily managing the extension work, then no I’d just do the reading (because they don’t read for fun in school).

But you say your child will struggle to achieve expected targets by the end of the year, and assuming no SEN, I’d suggest some extra work at home might help reinforce what they are learning in school. I wouldn’t spend hours on it, but I’d do 10-20 mins a day.

I wouldn’t do the ridiculous make-work topic projects, unless your child actually wants to do it.

I'm in NI rather than England so the expectations may be a bit different. In P1 (reception equivalent) we had occasional homework to make a poster and by the end of the year we were getting a weekly reading book. We also had some numeracy stuff home.

DD was getting on fine in school but very reluctant to do much at home. We didn't want school to be a battle at that age and so we gently encouraged but never forced the issue. Her teacher confirmed that was the correct plan and seemed relieved she didn't have to talk us down about it.

This year in P2 suddenly she's all over it and has come on leaps and bounds. I think she was just a bit immature for formal learning last year.

I'd speak to her teacher about your concerns - the teacher may not be worried at all. School at this age is about so much more than the formal learning so if she's making progress academically but also going in happily, making friends, managing her belongings etc then I'd say she's flying.

Get her to notice letters and short words on signs when you're out and about. Do simple counting exercises as you go about your day. But mainly don't get overly anxious.

I agree you can tell the difference but extra doesn't need to be set homework. My child goes to an Outstanding school with excellent results. In reception, they are only expected to read at home. Parents are generally very motivated and engaged with their children though - my child writes shopping lists and birthday cards and reads menus. Spending time on Doodle Maths or Spelling Shed isn't necessary and nor is doing worksheets.

What so the school set your DC homework which they don't do and you wonder why they are falling behind

I do input/intervention with my DS every day and he's classed as "low ability".

He isn't low ability, he's bright and intelligent but neuro-divergent, it's also looking likely that he's dyslexic, the school environment is not one where he thrives.

www.kumon.co.uk/ try this centre very good especially when kids start young. Kumon centres there everywhere google check which centre is nearest to you.

Ask their teacher what is expected

They should be wrong their name correctly at this point in reception unless they have SEN but even then they would normally be able to along with lots of other words

Most find maths difficult so you really need to be on top of maths with all DC

@CaptainMyCaptain

I had homework in the 60's in Primary School - Scotland.

DD's teacher told us this, congratulating us on all we'd been doing. We hadn't. As above DD was very reluctant to do much at home and we didn't push it. Turns out she'd told her teacher we had a homework schedule though. Fortunately the teacher has a sense of humour and roared with laughter saying she couldn't wait to tell the classroom assistant.

Unnecessarily harsh. There's very little evidence in support of homework at this age.

Reception age children are still very young and not all of them are ready for much formal learning. Forcing homework that a reluctant 4yo doesn't want to do is unlikely to have long-term benefits.