To think most women would be annoyed by this

[Kaylasmum49]

My dp quite often talks about women he knows and has seen and tells me how beautiful or sexy they are. I feel annoyed when he does this as I think it’s unnecessary and he knows that I have issues with my self confidence. Is it just me being silly or is he being insensitive

Agree with this.
There's books written about this sort of thing teaching men how to "neg" women as a dating strategy. It's foul.

“Wow, husband. Man at the pool today had the biggest cock I’ve ever seen. Made yours look tiny”
Should do the trick.

As usual you talk complete sense!

In my experience it's men who are very insecure themselves who do this. They want to chip away at you so you feel like he's the prize.

Next time he says it (if you don't bin him before then that is) don't mention insecurity or disrespect to you, as that's what he's looking for. Try "I'm sure she is beautiful, but I'm finding it really creepy the way you keep leering at women and commenting on their looks. You're like a dirty old man in training"

Of course we all will find people attractive in life, but to make the effort to tell your other half about someone you saw today who was “really sexy” is definitely odd. I wouldn’t do this because I’d assume my partner would think I was trying to upset him or make him jealous.

I genuinely think partners who do this (both men and women) do it to make their partners feel insecure and dependent on them for validation.

It's horrible behaviour.

Of course we all find people attractive, that's not the issue. His stirring is. If you want to give him a taste of his own medicine, go on and on about how hot some men at work are.

But in all honesty he's probably too much effort. LTB

Disrespectful to you and frankly a creep as far as other women are concerned, even if he never says anything to them.

Creepy. What's he prepping you for? I'd tell him to fuck off with that! I wouldn't want to be with someone that treated my feelings so poorly.

That's wanky behaviour on his part,he should be talking you up , making you feel good about yourself.

I haven’t read any more than your first post. Unless he also describes how handsome men are then it’s misogynistic. If does, it’s a bit shallow but may be not misogynistic. To do this with you is massively disrespectful and it would put me off.

I’m 57 and he is 73. He is a psychologist and has an entitled attitude which I have chosen to overlook. We have been together for a year, I think it’s over now as I know that if I remain in this relationship it will damage my self esteem even more. Thank you to everyone for validating my thoughts on this.

You've only been together a year, you should be in the honeymoon period soon and yet he's too busy oggling other women already and trying to make you jealous. Everyone finds people attractive ffs, why does he think you give a shit?? It's purely to make you insecure and it's working.

Sounds like you've made a good decision OP. You've inspired me not to overlook people's negative traits when they impact adversely on me. Why do we do that? Well, never again.

What a freak he is! That would put me right off him. I think you need to start talking about how sexy all the men you meet are.

He’s lucky to be with you. How dare he use this tactic to harm your self confidence. You can meet someone else who is nice with you. Put yourself first.

Finding someone beautiful is one thing, but finding them “sexy” is objectification if he doesn’t know them.
I was once the subject of such a comment from a hairdresser that I visited on the spur of the moment. I had experimented with (very light) contouring when making up that morning. He noticed, and said it made me look much younger and very sexy, and he would ask me out on a date.
I felt very uncomfortable but laughed it off, mentioning that I had been married to my DH (and still was) for over 30 years. It still made me feel🤢though, so it’s a kind of negging, I feel…

He's 73 and doesn't know how to respect his partner. I thought you were going to say he was in his early 20s.

You've only been together a year, that's easy to walk away from and I highly suggest you do.

It’s a bit weird and unnecessary. He can think it but he doesn’t need to share.
I’ve no idea who else my DH thinks is attractive as he doesn’t tell me.

I'm sorry OP, this is horrible. I experienced this with a partner of 3 years. They do it on purpose, they know what they're doing. At his age and occupation it makes what he's doing even worse. Sounds like he is consciously doing it. I ended things, I hope you do the same. I felt so much better for not being exposed to it and it was only afterwards I realised just how bad it made me feel x

He sounds like one of my cast-offs, who was also a psychologist. Is he Scottish by any chance? He'd be in his early 70s by now. We had a similar age difference between us, with him being 12 years older than me. He constantly commented on other women, telling me which ones he wanted to fuck. His excuse was that his male hormones made him do it and that he needed to express them. He also thought it was fine to tell me that it was perfectly normal for men to want to fuck as many women as possible because they're wired that way. My excuse for dating him is that I was in my early 20s and very naive. Saying that, he didn't last long. I look back on that time and my younger self with astonishment. How could I even think of having a relationship with someone like that? I hope you dump him, OP.

Whilst you're in the process of breaking up (I hope!) change your screensaver to someone hot your age. Etc

Creepy and weird.

We are like this.
And I say to dh 'oh what a lovely looking person/ woman ' and he'll agree
But he always makes me feel like the mist beautiful woman in the world anyway.

That’s horrible. I would then see him as a dribbling letch with his tongue hanging out for any other woman he/we met.
Is he trying to make you jealous or telling you he wants you to look more like these other women.
Bleugh either way. What an arsewipe.

insensitive