Travelling for work (uk) at 36 weeks pregnant

[Supermomdiggingupthelawn]

Hello

Work have insisted I attend a meeting in person whilst 36 weeks pregnant. It’s 4 hours away by train, unfortunately I can’t drive that far due to PGP.

I could stay over one night but I’m nervous about being so far from home for any longer than necessary. That would be at least 8 hours train travel in a day.

Is that a reasonable request or am I being a bit precious?

Thanks in advance

Also….. I don’t know why you feel the need to crow about working until your due date. This is classic ‘competitive mothering’ behaviour.
You might stop to consider other women may have all sorts of health reasons why they don’t work until their due date.

I’d also add- I did too much up until I finished. It’s not a competition and in hindsight I shouldn’t have done. A train trip into London + 3 hour exam on one of the hottest days of the year probably contributed to my waters breaking early and a shit show of a labour with my first. I was much more sensible with my second but also had pgp and found it debilitating so had to finish a bit earlier.

The ‘train travel is not stressful’ comment made me laugh. There’s a good chance of a cancelled or short/form connection where there is no guarantee the OP will get a seat.

I have PGP at 20 weeks only (!) and I'm not sure I could manage that either. Personally, I would just start maternity leave at that point. You get a whole year of it anyway.

Unfortunately I am finding that women who have an easy pregnancy have zero empathy for the women who struggle. My pregnancy so far has been like a bingo of every single symptom on the Internet and it's miserable. I was a fit 33 year old running half marathons and lifting weights before this and my mum had a super easy pregnancy with me so there was no indication I would have it hard.

I've never experienced the world be so unkind until pregnancy and I find women on mumsnet especially love to write about how resilient and wonderful they are.

It's like you're doing womanhood a disservice by simply being ill.

Hey op. No way in hell would i have done that.

Speak to your midwife asap.

We all have different pregnancies but i stopped work at 36 and 35 weeks both times and I’m so glad i did. Ignore all the people saying they worked until their due date. I don’t imagine anyone gave them a medal. My personal experience has been that it was more worthwhile to look after myself during those last few weeks than to save a few extra weeks of childcare.

My experience has also been that workplaces and individual managers, even if they are normally great, actually know absolutely fuck all about maternity rights etc. The training they get is really poor. I’ve worked for 2 very well known big companies and neither mamager even knew I had to do a risk assessment. I had to tell them. I also had one try and make me work extra hours in place of antenatal appointments, which i believe is illegal.

No point making a big show of you being in a meeting in person if you’re going to be in pain from a 4 hour journey.

Definitely talk to your midwife and ask your work to do a further risk assessment.

The competitive "I worked right up until labour and took a Zoom call during the epidural which was performed trackside, get over yourself"... Some odd attitudes, I very much hope some of the posters here are not responsible for leading teams.

OP, if you don't feel comfortable with it, I would first ask if the meeting can be virtual and explain that your PGP makes long periods of sitting, long walks to platforms etc, very painful. If they refuse,
I would seek a doctor's note requiring working from home / bed rest or sick leave and start mat leave.

FWIW, I did a heavily pregnant train trip for a meeting, became very unwell on the journey, vomited all over myself and nearly passed out hours from home. I turned around at my destination and went home again, declining long distance travel from there on.

It was scary, upsetting and unfortunately no one helped me. In fact, one woman had a go at me as I stumbled, sobbing and faint, out of the loo for taking too long (possibly one of the superior PPs on this thread who would have made a full recovery in half the time)

If your gut says not to do it, follow that instinct.

I'd have a false alarm on the morning and be unable to travel, damn those baxton hicks.

No it's too far for this stage of pregnancy. A friend of mine travelled to the States at 32 weeks for work and lost her baby while there, I'd not go in the third trimester, even 4 hours away.

I gave birth at 34 weeks.
I personally wouldn't feel comfortable and could have a doctor's note to say you can't.
No meeting needs to be in person these days.
Covid has proven this....

No baby could come any time now. Yes youre still working but want to stay close to home. Could you dial into the meeting?

I think a lot of posters who worked up until their due dates in the mines had more uncomplicated pregnancies. I had my son at 34 weeks and lost a baby at 20 weeks which resulted in a 2 week hospital stay. I wouldn't be travelling for work if I got to 36 weeks.