Travelling for work (uk) at 36 weeks pregnant

[Supermomdiggingupthelawn]

Hello

Work have insisted I attend a meeting in person whilst 36 weeks pregnant. It’s 4 hours away by train, unfortunately I can’t drive that far due to PGP.

I could stay over one night but I’m nervous about being so far from home for any longer than necessary. That would be at least 8 hours train travel in a day.

Is that a reasonable request or am I being a bit precious?

Thanks in advance

If you’re in good health and feel ok I don’t see a major issue
but then I was travelling up and down the country until then and worked until a day before giving birth . its not for everyone though !

I had my son prematurely (completely unexpected) at 35 weeks. I'm pretty sure you can request a risk or health and safety assessment. Your employers have a duty of care towards you.

Of course it’s unreasonable, especially as you have PGP. They should be making reasonable adjustments due to your PGP.

What does your midwife say and has firm done risk assessment. Take medical notes with in just in case if you decide to go.

With PGP it's a NO there is no telling how much walking, standing or stair climbing you will have to.

It’s only 4 hours away and presumably where you are going has an NHS hospital minutes away. They can stop a train for a medical emergency and get you to a hospital at any point along the route (I have been sat in trains delayed by such things before.)

I would agree to the meeting with the provisio that you might not make it as labour is inherently spontaneous and unpredictable.

Fwiw, I worked until my due date and my daily commute was 2hrs each way…

Every pregnancy is different and how people "manage" is very different.
I had PGP with pregnancy so I understand how awful this is. I couldn't walk to my car in the office car park without a struggle. My boss naively thought I'd be travelling 2 hours door to door either way on public transport for a work meeting at 36 weeks pregnant until everyone around him told him that was utterly ridiculous. I just don't think he had any idea it wasn't normal!
Have you voiced that you don't want to do this? Your boss's request might be coming from a place of ignorance/naivety

What do you do that you can’t possibly miss or zoom?

Only 4 hrs away. How ridiculous. There’s no way I would entertain this, find a way out of it.
Nothing in the world is more important than the safe arrival of your child.
And a 2 hour commute is not the same and give yourself a medal for working until your due date 🥇😆

Train travel is extremely stressful where I live.

Northern Rail services are often delayed or cancelled. Trains are often condensed into 1 carriage at peak times so most people are stood up and squashed in like sardines. A lot of ticket offices have been shut so you either need to purchase a ticket over an app or on a screen at the station. That’s no good for the elderly or if your phone has ran out of battery. & not to mention to tackle all that, weeks maybe days away from giving birth!

Fucking gold star for you 🌟
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

So she should risk going into labour hours from home, and hours from family, for a work meeting?

As for your commute... I assume you knew that when you decided to have a baby. That's your choice. OP didn't decide to have this meeting.

I am sure on that day you may last minute need an urgent midwife phonecall and need to be available to see a midwife, or have an appointment, or go in for monitoring of reduced movement etc …. !!!! So planned to go, but sorry …. if they will not take no for an answer

Work are massively unreasonable. Don’t go

1. Ask for a risk assessment (you can request one even if you had one earlier, as needs may have changed). Being unable to drive and the problems of public transport when heavily pregnant seem like good grounds to restrict travel.
2. Ask what support there will be if you go into labour at such a distance from home (which at 36 weeks might well mean a stay in hospital).
3. Ask what the plan B is if you go into labour before then - would it not be safer to go with the plan B rather than risk last minute changes? I think it's 10% of babies arrive before 37 weeks - I'm not sure of the figure for 36 weeks - but it's a big enough chance that they should be bearing it in mind.

You could start your maternity leave earlier, but you shouldn't need to.

Train travel can absolutely be utterly shit.

I went to York on the train recently (from Hartlepool), and had to stand most of the way despite having reserved seats. Then it was absolutely and utterly hell on the way back with a missed connection, waiting for ages in a freezing station only to find out the next train wasn't coming so I had to walk around an area I didn't really know to find a bus stop. It took over 90 mins to get back to my town on the bus and then I had to walk back to the station to get my car. Took hours and hours to get home and I couldn't imagine doing it while heavily pregnant!

Ha, have you travelled on some of the trains lately? I’ve had so many issues in the last 2 months. Travelling via train can be very stressful and I often do 8hrs in one day save staying overnight and it’s exhausting, let alone be 36wks pregnant. Sometimes earlier trains are cancelled and seat reservations are out, meaning people need to stand, so many things that can go wrong.

I did a 10 hour round trip at 36 weeks pregnant by training.....one of those things I look back on 8 years later and wish I just said no too.

I was in agony the next day. Also learnt on that cross country trip that men in the North are more likely to give you a seat then men in the south.

If you do go OP you'll need to take your notes just in case and I would actually insist they pay for you to travel first class.

@Cherryon God, you sound like my old boss 😂😂😂 oh what a trooper she was. Two kids, worked right up to the day before when pregnant with both. Not only that but she NEVER got ill. Or her kids. I had time off for Covid but she announced to me in a meeting “I’ve had it 3 times but wouldn’t have known had I not tested” - Eventually she was made redundant. No gold star ⭐️ for her.

I don’t understand why people work so close to their due date and expect to be treated differently. I took maternity at 33 weeks with each of my pregnancies as I couldn’t fulfill my ( quite physical role any more). If you can’t do your job anymore start your maternity leave.

I travelled that far my.car in my.first pregnancy happily. Second pregnancy I had pgp and couldn't have even if I wanted to. My midwife wrote me a note as my boss was being tricky (and dressing it up as including me) and I gave it to them cc'ing HR saying I'd love to attend X y and z but my midwife has made really clear I shouldn't and perhaps we should update my risk assessment. Same day I had a call and updated risk assesment from health and safety. I hated doing it, especially so close to going off as I felt I shouldn't make a fuss but the health and safety rep was awesome and pointed out it was less fuss than me having something awful happen!

In your case if they aren't generally being difficult I think I'd say to them that I would have loved to but your pregnancy complication means it won't be possible. If they get arsey push back via midwife.

Oh, I got very ill on one of my pregnancies but I had a doctor’s note saying what I could and could not do. If OP truly can’t do it, then she should get a doctor’s note.

Many companies are happy to give adjustments for women to work longer if then want to, so they can spend more time with their child. I’d be more than willing to allow my staff to start working at home 100% in late pregnancy should they wish to help them out. I don’t think it’s all or nothing, most employers are reasonable and happy to put things in place to make working in late pregnancy easier for their employee’s. By saying you’re working so you’re doing 100% of your job just to make a point doing sound like a way of creating a happy workforce.

How many weeks are you now? I’m 38 weeks and have pgp, I’ve found travelling really painful on the few times I’ve had to go into the office lately. There will inevitably be platforms to walk to, potentially with stairs, presumably a walk at either end? Yesterday was my last day in the office before mat leave, I was shattered by the end of the day and could barely walk this morning as the travelling really aggravated my pgp.

Added to that the stress/unpredictability of train travel, the long day and the risk of going into labour (probably small) I would be asking for a risk assessment or refusing to go. Can the meeting not be done via teams?

OP chose this job that included local travel though? I don’t see much difference tbh. It’s really petty of you to trot this out when everything can be waved away as “you chose to get pregnant with that job commute or that job which requires local travel or that job that requires a lot of standing…etc”

There is nothing wrong with requesting medically needed accomodation, if OP thinks she can’t do it for medical reasons, get a doctors note saying you can’t.

I wouldn’t say no and then go get a note if pushed because many boss’ will think you’re taking the piss without one. I’d just get a note and be done with it.