Children these days don't know how to behave

[DoYouWantMeToBeTheCat]

AIBU to wonder why?

image descriptions for visually impaired

1. Photo of socially distanced lunch tables in primary school with taped areas for seating
2. Photo of socially distanced classroom in secondary school with children sat in masks
3. Photo of child cycling past a play area taped up with signs advising it's closed
4. Front page of the Sunday People with headline that says "Death is all around us.. so follow the rules"
5. Photograph of toddler at window with an old lady at the other side - both putting their hands up to each other.

Actually, I am with you in many ways, OP. You’re not getting a lot of sympathy because most of MN has moved on from lockdown. Those who said “people will die because you hugged your grandchildren” are now frothing about something else, while still thinking “lockdown saved us all”. But there is no doubt lockdowns caused massive damage to children. I work with children, and have seen it for myself, and I’m sure this will make itself felt when the generation of lockdown children grows up. We must keep reminding the politicians of the damage they caused to children, while they are trying to set the narrative to “we should have locked down harder, faster, longer, and we will next time”.

Op, this - You never took him to a shop in 2 years? Had the news on? He didn't see posters in windows, or adverts on busses?

We live in Lambeth, he sees a lot of stuff.

The point is I explain everything to him so that he understands. I'm happy to explain semantics if this doesn't make sense to you.

I disagree OP. It wasn't a prolonged and massive trauma. Not for my children anyway, so I'd encourage you to only speak for yourself.

We were lucky enough not to experience anyone close to us being seriously ill or in hospital with Covid so obviously if children have experienced loss through Covid that will affect them the same losing a family member pre-Covid would have.
But in my own experience the lockdowns were a great thing for our family. we were financially comfortable enough to get by despite my husband being furloughed for weeks and me working from home. The time we gained with the children was a huge gift which would otherwise have been lost in the hustle and bustle of life.
Lockdown taught us to slow down, and that it's okay to not have a jam packed schedule all the time. The lockdowns gave us time together with no real distractions which was wonderful for our family. We even decided to have another baby which we may not have done if we hadn't had the time to consider slowing down and making changes.

So in reply to your OP, my children do know how to behave because they had adults who spent that time with them and set an example instead of letting all the rules go to pot. A lot of what you describe is a result of poor parenting, Covid or no Covid. I include SEN children in that statement (having one autistic child and one who has adhd myself) because even with SEN, boundaries and limits are massively important and take effort to consistently implement which some parents don't do and see it as an excuse not to parent properly because it's hard.

Most know how to behave but they don't behave all the time because they are human and children.

People blame 'lockdown' god everything

They were locked Down with YOU..... THE PARENT

*for

For a lot of children, being locked down with their parent wasn't great. And that's ignoring the benefits of socialisation, whether or not their parents were ideal. And ignoring the affects of societal messaging, restrictions on activities etc.

Actually gobsmacked by this comment.

Wtf are you on (about)?

I have a 14 year old with autism and learning disabilities and a,underlying chromosome deletion
He's completely non verbal
Maybe your daughter will speak no one can say but some kids never will even with interventions.

There is that but we all know easier interventions generally lead to better outcomes.

*Earlier

Our family had the same experience as @rumbypumby - slower pace of life, weather was good so we got out in the back garden. Took it in turns to walk the dog. We face timed with friends and had quiz nights or played games online with them. With an autistic child this quiet time was beneficial. Going back to school was trickier for them as they became overwhelmed quite quickly but working with school we did a phased return and that helped.

During lockdowns, I worked on a rota providing teaching in school for kids whose parents were frontline and those children who were vulnerable for any reason (SEN, SEMH, family issues). Returning back full time, whole classes were in their own 'bubbles' so kids sat next to each other because there wasn't the space for social distancing like your pictures show @DoYouWantMeToBeTheCat.

I feel from my experience, seeing what was happening with other parents, was it very much depended how the adults dealt with it. If adults were scared, frightened and didn't engage well with the child, that would impact the child. If adults were calm, took it step by step, and spent time engaging with the children supporting them, then the result was more positive.

For me, the far bigger harm for children in recent years is social media.

Lockdown 'trauma' 😂

It's wasn't bloody WWII was it?!

But if kids were younger than 5 then MANY EYFS settings were open when schools were not, right? And in fact if they were less than 5 (I had 3 year old when lockdown hit), his schooling has basically been uninterrupted more or less. The whole neural connection thing- if both parents were working then SOMEONE was looking after that under 5, yes? So the child was getting daily interaction. If it was a parent taking turns, then yes the parent was stressed (DH was a frontline doctor watching people die daily and took turns parenting with me), but we didn't abandon our children and disappear. And once parks etc were open, which they mostly were by the summer of 2021 (so a full 3 years ago), children could go out and play and interact with others. And in the UK small children were not masked.

And if lockdown WITH a parent wasn't great because the parental unit was problematic then you could argue that lockdown only exacerbated parenting issues that would have emerged sooner rather than later, yes?

There were parts of the world where school closures lasted much longer (eg California). But for most primary school children in the UK they were online for 2 (Summer 2020 and Spring 2021) and partially in the classroom for two (Autumn 2020 and Summer 2021).

I am reading the Lords report on this and most EYFS settings were allowed to open from June 2020 with safety measures in place. In fact you can argue that those in late primary and early secondary suffered longer periods of closure than the very young who had access to their educational settings much earlier.

The OP talks of this generation of children- but a 6 months old in March 2020 could attend nursery later that year. Whereas a 16 year old then had two much more disrupted years of education. So if we are talking about being loud in restaurants and not knowing how to use cutlery, then presumably it is this younger group we are talking about. And the effect on a 6 month old who is still at home with a caregiver would be very different to that on a 16 year old who might have had to entertain themselves for long periods with parents working, and lost out on vital socialisation. My older child experienced the isolation of COVID very differently to my younger child who went back to a daycare setting by that summer of 2020. I'm not saying COVID wasn't stressful for parents and children. But the idea that kids not knowing how to use cutlery or being loud in restaurants is COVID related, seems to not be entirely based in fact.

😂 😂

Sooooo true!!!

But....ohh the drama!!

No, like schools, they were shut to all but children of keyworkers.

Both myself and husband had to work during lockdowns but speech requires modelling between at least two other people so in short, one person on their own with said child isn't going to help much. Obviously.

OP this is a ludicrous reductionist argument - and children’s behaviour HAS deteriorated so just dismissing this from the get go doesn’t help. However the reasons it’s deteriorated are far more complex than bloody lockdowns - and started before lockdown anyway.

Yes it is partly due to permissive parenting (let’s not pretend this isn’t a thing 🙄) but also down to a changing society, social media, general reduction in behaviour in adults too and so much more.

Oh fgs. Children learn by example. There are a lot of adults around who behave badly so it stands to reason their kids will too. Nothing to do with the pandemic.

There is absolutely no excuse other than poor parenting for nt children who are incapable of using cutlery and behaving in a restaurant. If anything lockdown gave parents more time to train their children how to do these things as they had more time to spend with them.

I don’t think it’s about not giving the children some understanding - the issue is lazy parenting. No child should be running around in a restaurant - ever. If your DC can’t sit still for long, one of you gets down with them and takes them out. You pick places with play areas. You take sticker books, puzzles etc and entertain them before and in between courses.

Or you take them, let them run around, ignore them, and basically abdicate your responsibilities as a parent.

None of this has anything to do with Covid.

Jesus christ, lockdown and covid and 2020 are NOT excuses not to parent, educated and discipline your fucking child and its NOT an excuse for lazy parenting and letting your kids get away with murder. Get a grip OP.

Covid was ages ago. Spring 22 was the last lockdown.

Since then my perfectly normal well behaved teen ds has been skiing with the school, on two GCSE field trips, a German GCSE exchange trip. He's joined a gym, swims and practices karate every week. He's chosen a sixth form, spent summers on the beach.

He was 11 when Covid started. More than a quarter of his life. For him it is a distant memory.