Everyone in the house can f*ck off!

[TurnedInTunedoutAndFckedOff]

Relentless last couple of days with the kids.
AIBU to

1. feel like my body is not a climbing frame
2. feel like I've run out of answers to the relentless questions
3. sick of separating fights
4. tired of reasoning, negotiating
5. bored of keeping positive
6. sick of hearing myself talk
7. cba with the constant drudgery
8. feel like I just wanna time alone in a dark, quiet room

43, mum of 3 under 5s, perimenopausal and sipping the vino by 430 😬

@MsLuxLisbon so go reply to posts on non-parenting subjects. You have no business on this thread.

You are older than me and all your kids are younger than mine...I can't judge you! I also salute you

I feel the same , plus I’m working from home and today of all days , everything has none tits up . I’m so tired I can’t even sleep or rest . Then hubby decided to be offended because I lost my sh**t and told him kids had to go to sleep but be qui the ( at 10 pm ) because I’m tired of all of them . Guess who was at work until 10 pm blissfully away from screaming kids … not me .

Just coming on to lend support.
Monumentally lost it with my two today. I'm fasting, I'm tired and I've had them all week. Their bickering is unbearable. Thankfully I'm at work tomorrow

@TurnedInTunedoutAndFckedOff at the end of the responsibility years here. Spoiler alert: you are still reaching for the wine even when they are 18 😂

Keep buggering on tho, some stages of parenting are just worse than others. This too shall pass especially when you add more cake consumption 😉

Can he or relatives have the kids for a night so you can book yourself into a bnb

@MsLuxLisbon

It always helps!
Even the idea of it. I rarely get any becsyse I choose to go to bed...

Ugh it's a slog. Calm Parents, Happy siblings is very good if you can sneak a few minutes per day of Audible/reading

feel like I've run out of answers to the relentless questions
Do you use 'why/what/how do you think?' Very effective

tired of reasoning, negotiating
Don't negotiate with terrorists

bored of keeping positive
Be more honest, model how to deal with negative emotions/self-care.
'I'm feeling frustrated, I'm going to take some deep breaths'

sick of hearing myself talk
Say much, much less. The books How to Talk so Little Kids Will Listen and Hunt, Gather, Parent are both great on this.

Sorry if you were just seeking comfort not solutions! Unsolicited advice can be annoying, I know.

Thank you for concern of my physical health, but no, I don't drink everyday. I usually run. Today I thought fuck it. I'm chosing wine and I loved every last drop, drop, drop of it 😋🤗👌

This is helpful. Thank you. I do have some of those books, but when I get 5 minutes to myself the last thing I wanna read about is kids lol! But definitely need to revisit these.

1. feel like my body is not a climbing frame oh and add in your hair as reins
2. feel like I've run out of answers to the relentless questions tell me about it - and the mum, mum, muuuuuuum, usually from a different end of the house.
3. sick of separating fights yup
4. tired of reasoning, negotiating over and over
5. bored of keeping positive fuck that
6. sick of hearing myself talk 🦜🦜
7. cba with the constant drudgery drop kicking them through the school gates on Monday - yey!
8. feel like I just wanna time alone in a dark, quiet room with lots of chocolate, where no little people can find you and ask for their bum wiping
9. 43, mum of 3 under 5s, perimenopausal and sipping the vino by 430 😬 vino all the way. I was being moderate week before now it's crept back up. Signed peri mum of 3

Lols. Yep a toffee equals two minutes' silence from them.

I understand this! I love my DC dearly but during a solo parenting day out yesterday I actually enjoyed it when we all needed the loo. DS went to the men’s and DD and I had separate cubicles. Three whole minutes of no bickering!

Obviously yours too little to go to the loo alone yet OP, but that three minutes is something to look forward to 😂

Wow, 3 under 5 at 43 - I had 4 in my 20’s and 30’s and am same age as you now - could not imagine it at this stage - I’m knackered!

It gets easier when they’re older however you will still be awake until the early hours waiting for them to return from a party/the pub. It’s just a different set of problems!

Id do anything for them to be little again though 😢

I hope you have a better day today, OP. No advice from me, other than to cut any corners you can in order to make today more bearable. Hats off to you - it will get easier.

Looking back to my three under 5 and a teenager days, I know that I physically and mentally couldn't do it now, so you really are a super mum!

I remember saying 'my body is not a climbing frame' so many times! I sometimes felt like I wasn't a person, just something that existed for the benefit of others... Mine are 6 and 4 now and life is so so much easier. This too shall pass.

That post gave me flashbacks! Doing that in your 40s sound knackering, I struggled in my early 30s!

I used to sometimes hide in the tiny square between the washing machine cupboard and the downstairs loo to eat biscuits. I could hear what they were doing but was out of sight.

At some point they'll all be at school and then you might find you miss them.

I remember the frantic mornings to get them to school and then despondently walking home because I was lonely without the tiny hands poking me and the constant chatter.

Motherhood is pretty wild.

I was on here long before being a parent and obviously mumsnet isn't only for parents, but I do find it quite baffling when people who don't have kids come onto these threads just to write a snippy judgemental comment to a parent, when you have no idea of what it's like. There are plenty of threads not about struggling with young kids so maybe comment on those if you don't have anything supportive to say.

You are allowed to moan of course, but I’m wondering what you expected life with three under 5s to be like?

"No, it really doesn't. Up to the OP, of course, but I cannot think of a single bad situation in my life that was ever even slightly helped by alcohol, and a lot that were made worse."

@MsLuxLisbon exactly, in your life but we're not talking about you. The op has had a shit day and found that a glass of wine took the edge off her stress. She never mentioned drinking daily so why are you trying to act as though she's some sort of alcoholic?

I have been there many times. Life with small kids is very stressful and relentless. I often have a small glass of wine to help decompress and reduce stress. If I were sinking a bottle everyday just to get by it would be different but there is literally no need to get sanctimonious over what the op has described. Especially when you haven't got kids and therefore probably don't understand the immense pressure you're under 24/7.

Not there now, but I remember it well, and not fondly.

The squabbling/bickering/all out battle of multiple siblings all wanting something (usually from me) and fighting each other to get it.

I've survived, grey and grumpy but it is so hard at times - take it minute by minute, hour by hour and don't put too much pressure on yourself about food/tv/house cleanliness.

All fed and in bed is what you're aiming for at the end of the day (if only they would stay there!)

You can still be reaching for the wine when they’re mid 40’s and their kids are teens lol

Wine has been my life-saver for years….🍾🍾

Have just spent the whole day looking after my beautiful grand children, and as much as I adore them it was a relief to see mummy home! It’s dam hard work and I’m well and truly tired tonight.
I’d Never judge a mum relaxing with a glass of wine after a long hard demanding day!

OP I think you might be my soul mate. I'm 44 with 2 under 3 and by the end of yesterday I was ready to explode.
And just like you usually I go and run it off but last night I had a glass of red and ate the chocolate brownies I had made for the kids. Sod em, I needed the chocolate more than they do.

Two more ways a glass of wine helps, for the woman with no children who doesn't get it (not loads of wine, not every day, disclaimer disclaimer).

• it reminds you of your adult self. Being home with little children is different from going to work and coming home. You lose that sense of reset "now I'm out of the office, I'm me again". Glass of wine is a symbol of adult/end of working day/personal treat- but you have it in the kitchen, where you are stuck, to create a virtual reset.

• it is, actually, physically a mood enhancer, short term, before it depresses! You need the relaxed energy at that hour.

It's like me saying "I've never had a job, but I can see NO reason why a 9am cup of coffee would ever help anyone... surely it just gives you a dreadful blood sugar slump later. I've never been in the position of needing one!"