I accidentally killed my favourite chicken - devastated

[Randomname83738]

we have 8 backyard rescue chickens, one is my absolute favourite. She would escape the enclosure a couple of times a day by flying over the 6 foot fence (chicken run style!!!), she’d come up to the house to see me. I’d give her some treats and pets and take her back up or let her scratch in the garden for a while.

last week I broke my wrist which has made it more difficult putting her back in. She managed to fly out my hands when I struggled to open the gate, but scuttled off seemingly unharmed so I thought no more of it. For the next couple of days she didn’t come down to the house and stayed in her enclosure but was just pecking etc with the rest of the girls. A few days ago I saw she was in a bad way, I rang the vet and they said it sounded like an egg had broken in her and told me what to do while they were on their way. She died before they arrived

im absolutely devastated. Ridiculously heartbroken. More than when other pets or even some not so close relatives have died, most people would describe me as fairly resilient but I just keep reliving me essentially dropping her over and over and the guilt is consuming me. I don’t know how to get over it. She was so friendly and I feel like I let her down. I

Did you mean to post in aibu, you could get some harsh responses.

I wouldn’t have thought you dropping her caused this to happen, it was just one of those unfortunate things.
I’m very sorry for your loss.

I am sorry OP, I had a little farm as a teenager with animals that I loved dearly. It would break my heart whenever any of them died.

But this is not your fault !!

(Voted YANBU as in YANBU to be sad)

to be honest I wasn’t sure where to post it. I feel like I’ve been unreasonable, firstly for dropping her, then for not realising she was poorly for too long and now for crying several times a day over it!! The whole thing is just on my mind a lot and I’m struggling to get over it!

Sorry OP, it is so sad that she has passed away.

They were rescues. You should seek some comfort from the fact that you gave her a fantastically better life than 99% of chickens bred in the UK.

So sorry op, accidents happen, sounds like she'd a lovely relationship with you, go easy on yourself.

If she was regularly getting over a 6ft run then she was regularly throwing herself down twice the height that you would have dropped her from. Neither of which should really have broken a egg in her anyway. They are pretty well cushioned. If she was getting older then the egg may well have had a poor shell and just broke because of that.

You have my sympathy though. It is heartbreaking when you lose any of them least of all a favourite.

I'm so sorry for your loss. She sounds like a marvellous pet. I don't think her death was your fault and you should comfort yourself with the thought that you gave her a good life following her rough start.

(Just as an aside, and because I have an interest in one day keeping chickens myself) how could she have injured herself by falling from your arms if she was able to escape a 6 foot high enclosure on a regular basis?

Be kind to yourself. You rescued her, which is amazing. Accidents happen.

That's sad, OP. Sounds like she was a lovely chicken and had a lovely life with you. It was just an unfortunate event. You didn't do anything bad or reckless. xx

So sorry for your loss. If it's any consolation I had to live with the fact my 3 were taken by Mr Fox. I had no idea that foxes were alive and kicking in my suburban area, but they clearly were. I should have made them safer, they were taken at 11am whilst free ranging and I was walking the dogs. I loved mine too - all had different personalities. Most of us who have had animals have had an accident or lucky escape with them. Remember the good times and cherish the ones you have left. I'm sure they have a lovely life with you.

Oh @Randomname83738

I'm so sorry. They're gorgeous little characters aren't they.

its very sad that she died & devastating the way she died, but you didn't know.

unto focus the fact you have her a lovely life & she obviously was happy & came to you for a fuss.

therrs no shame in loving an animal & behind upset when it dies. Doesn't matter if it's a horses or a mouse, they're all able to be loved,

I cried my heart out when our darling little hamster died and for days (weeks maybe even) . She was such a little sweetie & a big chsracter

(((HUG)))

It wasn't your fault, you dont actually know what happened and you had a broken wrist, you did your best. These things unfortunately happen sometimes.

I agree with a previous poster, it could just as much have happened when she came over the 6ft fence earlier that day or a previous day, or it could have been unrelated.

Please don't beat yourself up about it OP.

OP I have hens and I can’t think that this could possibly be your fault, they are pretty resilient and I don’t believe a drop could have caused her that much damage. It’s more likely that she was egg bound which doesn’t often have a good outcome for chooks sadly :( it sounds like you gave her a wonderful life though, they are lovely personalities and I’m equally attached to my ladies so I get it 💐

You didn't kill her, OP. And if she did have a broken egg inside her, it's unlikely the vet would have been able to save her anyway (I speak from experience).
Sympathies from a fellow mini dinosaur lover.

@Howmanycatsistoomany i call mine mini dinosaurs too! Or velociraptors depending on their mood 😂

thank you so much for the kind words everyone, it’s very much appreciated and lovely to hear everyone’s love their own animals and chickers (love mini dinosaurs!!).

im not sure if it was from me dropping her, she landed a bit awkwardly and so i assumed it was that but I suppose it could have been something else. The possibility it wasn’t my fault (I suppose I’ll never know) does make me feel better

It sounds like it’s really unlikely it was your fault OP, far more likely from jumping over the fence. This isn’t your fault OP

As an ex chicken owner and someone who works with chickens and is ANA qualified: Firstly I’d be surprised if dropping her or even squishing her a bit caused that to happen, chickens are pretty resilient animals, correlation doesn’t necessarily equal causation, there is every chance this would have happened anyway and because this incident just so happens to have occurred at a similar time you are attributing them to being linked when they may well not be. Secondly, birds are really good at hiding problems, signs are often quite subtle and by the time they are obvious its often too late to help beyond euthanasia anyway. As soon as you knew she wasn’t right you called the vet and followed advice therefore did what you could. Thirdly, even if you did in someway cause this (which I doubt you did) you didn’t do it on purpose, it was a complete accident, accidents happen even with the most experienced of us. Its easy for me to say don’t beat yourself up but I know thats less easy in practice, but do try.

As someone else said, Chickens are one of the most poorly kept and abused animals in the uk, take some solice in the fact she had a great life with you, especially as a rescue.

I agree with others that you don't know what caused it, the important thing is you acted as soon as you knew something was wrong and called the vet.
I wasn't sure how to vote, I said YANBU as in YANBU to be upset, but think others saying YABU are probably meaning YABU to blame yourself - I was thinking that too.

Hens are prey animals and hide any injury or illness .That's just the way it is really unlikely you caused her any harm .It's a great age and she's had a good time with you .What more can you ask.
They are real characters enjoy your others .
I suspect others will scale the fence cos the rewards are great .

So sorry OP. Please don't blame yourself. At the start of spring many chickens are starting to lay heavily again, so if it was an egg it is more likely to be one that got stuck rather than broken and just an unfortunate coincidence. Had pet chickens for years and never had an issue with a broken egg, despite some accidents. Also, don't be hard on yourself for missing the signs. Chickens are prey animals and so will hide problems until it is late. Many are also starting to spend a lot of time in the nest boxes, which also makes it hard to spot an ill chicken. Best wishes, they are great pets with super little personalities. So sad most don't get to enjoy life as a pet.

It really doesn't sound like this was your fault.
You gave her a lovely life.

I'm so sorry you're feeling so distressed about the loss of your darling chook.

You didn't cause this. YANBU to feel sad but don't blame yourself. We had chickens, several were dropped or squished and were absolutely fine.
One died of a broken egg inside her after not being dropped, the vets said it just happens sometimes. We lost a few others to mystery illnesses, they had always managed to hide that they were ill until it was too late to do anything.

I'm sorry. It's devastating to lose a pet, even moreso when you wonder "what if". But I'd agrew with everyone else, it's unlikely you caused it, and if you did, it was an accident, which could happen to everyone. Be kind to yourself and think of the happy life she had with you.