I accidentally killed my favourite chicken - devastated

[Randomname83738]

we have 8 backyard rescue chickens, one is my absolute favourite. She would escape the enclosure a couple of times a day by flying over the 6 foot fence (chicken run style!!!), she’d come up to the house to see me. I’d give her some treats and pets and take her back up or let her scratch in the garden for a while.

last week I broke my wrist which has made it more difficult putting her back in. She managed to fly out my hands when I struggled to open the gate, but scuttled off seemingly unharmed so I thought no more of it. For the next couple of days she didn’t come down to the house and stayed in her enclosure but was just pecking etc with the rest of the girls. A few days ago I saw she was in a bad way, I rang the vet and they said it sounded like an egg had broken in her and told me what to do while they were on their way. She died before they arrived

im absolutely devastated. Ridiculously heartbroken. More than when other pets or even some not so close relatives have died, most people would describe me as fairly resilient but I just keep reliving me essentially dropping her over and over and the guilt is consuming me. I don’t know how to get over it. She was so friendly and I feel like I let her down. I

As a fellow chicken keeper (and have had rescue hens) I really feel for you loosing one of your girls.

But please please, dont blame yourself. She could fly up and over a enclosure over to the other side with a thump most times, thats what they do. Its a long way down for a hen from 6 feet (mine have done it onto concreate) and just toddled off, they are more robust than what we think. I have had my girls escape from my arms on many occasions.

She flew out of your grasp, you did not drop her, bet she would of been just fine going back into the run.

You dont know how long she may of been egg bound (if thats what it was) for as they can appear to be quite normal (as some hens dont show they are ill easily and do hide away) then sometimes its just to late. But even if you knew, its difficult to get the egg out and you have to act fast. Even with the vet coming, they cannot always get the egg out. But they did not say for certain.

Rescue hens on the whole are not as hardy as others, and many other things could of been a factor in her passing. I lost 2 within 2 days of getting them, it happens as sad as it is.

Take pleasure in the fact that you gave her a loving home with the rest of the girls, and shes had more life than she would of, and believe me I really do know how you feel. I was distraught when my very fav girl who was a rescue hen died. But shes up in the big hen house up in the sky with the rest of them, indeed they are wonderful wonderful creatures.

Please dont blame yourself.

I don't think this was your fault at all. Sometimes I don't hold the wings properly and they'll flap/flop out of my arms, I don't think that's anything that would harm them! I also have a favourite rescue chicken so I do understand your loss, hope you feel better soon x

Losing a pet is the worst ❤️
we have a lot of chickens and as others have said it’s very unlikely this is your fault from what you have described, chickens drop themselves from heights and just walk away from it, it’s very very unlikely to be the cause of this. They’re also good at hiding their pain, this isn’t your fault.

This.
Be kind to yourself, both in terms of the guilt you're feeling and getting over the loss.

Losing a pet is hard OP. It really doesn’t sound to me like it was to do with you though, I think you can rest easy on that one. It’s can be hard for even experienced chicken keepers to know when something is wrong, they’re often fine one day and gone the next.

Chickens make the best pets ime. We had one that knew her name and followed me round. My 2 dcats gave her a wide berth. She came into the house.. And pecked at the window of breakfast was late!
Sorry for your loss op..

Oh this is so sad. You don't know that you caused this though OP. It sounds like she was an adventurous girl. It could have happened at another time. Even if it did happen when you dropped her it was a completely unintentional accident. There is no blame.

You gave her a happy life.

So sorry to hear this Op. Pets are family and pure love embodied in living form. Forgive yourself, you gave her a lovely life by the sounds of it. Forgiving doesn't mean forgetting, time is a healer but as they say grief is love with nowhere to go, the fact you feel so grief stricken shows how much you loved her❤

I love my chickens too, and it is sad when they pass away. You say she was rescued, was she ex battery, if she was they tell you if you get six months with them you’ve done well.

So sad to read about your chicken. 🐔❤️ But I don’t think the 2 things were related. It’s more likely to have been caused by infection or nutritional deficiencies. If she was a rescue she may have had deficiencies you didn’t know of.

I would frame it like she came to say goodbye and thank you.

That's really sad. Sorry for your loss. But definitely not your fault.

She had a great life and developed a bond with you. It’s ok to be sad but remember you gave a loving home to your little pal.

Sorry that she has gone but I don't think you are to blame in any way. You gave her a lovely home and love. Please don't be so harsh on yourself 💐

Oh Op, I just wanted to say I’m so sad for your loss. Like other posters, I second that you shouldn’t blame yourself. I just wanted to send hugs, it’s heartbreaking when these creatures we love die.

Bless your heart OP, that's sad.
Don't blame yourself though, I really doubt you caused this! You loved your chicken and there was no malicious intent, you don't deserve to beat yourself up over this.

YNBU to feel upset and sad but you didn't mean for it to happen. You sound like a good person who cares about animals!! 💐

I am sorry for your loss. My dad kept hens for a lifetime and they are resilient untill it's their time. Don't blame yourself.

I don't think a fall would cause this. Ours once got thrown about by someone's escaped Rottweiler but they were completely fine once they got over the shock and lived for years afterwards.

However many of our ex batts did seem to pass away from problems related to their egg producing systems. Maybe because they're bred to produce so many eggs so fast and things just go wrong?

It's so hard to lose them but you gave her a wonderful life and she sounds like she was a great little chicken.

I would be very surprised if it had anything to do with you. Hens die all the time from all sorts of unpredictable things. I hope you feel better soon.