Feel ashamed of my house

[Wantitnicearoundme]

Like the actual house itself, it’s in a lovely area, good size, gardens etc…it just needs so much doing to it. Last painted everywhere inside during covid, but desperately needs doing again, walls seems dirty. Garden ok when Dh does it, but our large tree needs cutting right back (tree person did it in the past)
We’ve not had new furniture since we moved in 14 years ago. There’s just so much that needs doing.
Last summer I saved up to do the outside area and made it quite nice, but feel like I’m forever tidying and DD’s things make it a mess.
I can’t afford to do it all, alongside Dds birthday, party, clubs, clothes, any short breaks etc. Even though we earn ok.
I’m embarrassed to invite anyone over.
Where do I start

Yes that's doable.

Have you tried washing your walls? You can probably get a lot of the dirt off and brighten it up with a bit of dish soap, water and microfibre cloth.

OP - you are doing well. A couple of rooms in our house have been painted since Covid but a few haven't been painted for nearly 10 years. Our kitchen is over 20 years old, the bathroom's 17 years old, so is most of the furniture. The rest was inherited from DH's parents and is from the 1970s.

Honestly, it doesn't matter. Keeping the house clean and relatively orderly feels nice but short term mess is good - the mess of a child playing with toys or a basket of freshly folded laundry or a sewing machine on the table with half-made curtains, an unrolled yoga mat and weights in the corner - I love all that stuff - signs of life and interests. I prefer that sort of home to ones that look like no one is allowed to even put down a book in case it makes a sofa look untidy.

Wash the walls. You'd be surprised how much dirt they collect. They may not need repainting after all.

Go for it OP! Or maybe start slowly- living room only as although very do-able it's nice to have a bit of down time too!
Turn your fave music on and get stuck in Op (bet you'll love it)

100% get where you are coming from ours is the same. We painted during COVID but used Matt paint and all the walls are all white. Our plan is now the light nights are starting to do a couple or 3 hours after work and will get a room done over a few nights rather than use our weekends to do it which are just too busy!

Mine are the same and they were only done 3 years ago. Greasy marks and dirty handprints everywhere. I don’t know how the fuck it happens as the DS’s are 26 and 24!!!
Next time I repaint I’m going to spend a bit more on washable paint!

I'm just redoing my sitting room and dining room ATM. I've bought a new but cheapish 3 piece suite off eBay. It's a 3, 2, 1 electric recliner in grey faux leather for £1400. I've ordered a rug in grey, black and dark red diamond pattern and 2 new lamp shades in the same colour. I've bought some grey and cream wallpaper for the wall around inglenook and the rest will be repainted over in Timeless. I've got to measure windows for new blinds in black. Dining room will also have one feature wall around the bay window in wallpaper and the rest painted in Timeless. A new lampshade to match the 2 in the lounge. The total cost of the sitting room and dining room makeover will only cost us about £2k because DH will do the work himself and I'll help with the painting too. I'm also having the downstairs cloakroom refitted. Nothing fancy just a trade white loo and a vanity unit in white. A new dark grey vinal and our white wall cabinet with mirror on the front will be refused. I'll get a new dark grey lampshade. It's being painted in Polished Pebble and having one large dark grey wall time behind the basin. The cloakroom makeover will only cost about £200 plus 1/2 day cost of my plumber.

I try to paint a couple of rooms a year, I have just done some declutterring and put things on Vinted. Hopefully that will pay for some paint for my front room then I’m going to get my carpet and sofa cleaned, new cushions to freshen up. Summer holidays it will be the box room.
Remember it’s like the forth bridge start at one end and by the time you get to the other end it will be time to start again 😳

Came on here to say something similar but you’ve put it beautifully. A reality check definitely needed here. OP stop comparing yourself & trying to keep up with the Jones- value what you do have, which sounds like a lovely homely space. It’s the energy warmth & happiness in a home the right people notice anyway- not whether the walls need a luck of paint. As long as it’s reasonably clean & tidying most of the time that’s fine. Instagram is not reality.

These were my initial thoughts too.

Walls don't need repainting every 3-4 years 😕

If furniture is falling apart after 14 years you must be either jumping on it or buying crap furniture. Decent quality furniture will last a lifetime.

Some people do seem to feel the need to completely replace everything every few years, though. I think it's more a psychological thing than an actual need.

I inherited my house from my dad. It needs loads of work that I can't afford or have energy to do myself, after having to spend £9k on ripping out the kitchen and replacing rotten floorboards and joists due to a long-standing leak that Dad never addressed (and discovering the insurance had lapsed).
I have cracked plaster in the hallway, floorboards that got waxed but the wax was a bad idea and they look awful, paint hanging off above a window where there was water ingress, cracked paint on windowsill also from water ingress, stains on lino in conservatory, cream carpets (and I have a dog) that are not so cream anymore, bits that need painting behind where the old storage heaters were removed. The list goes on!
But you know what, everyone who comes to my house says what a lovely feel it has (including an estate agent!), because I've made it homely. Loads of plants, atmospheric lighting, pictures on walls, paint colour schemes on what I have managed to do, etc. I made my own towel rails and shelf brackets in the bathroom out of industrial piping, painted black. No-one EVER has made disparaging remarks about the fabric of the building.
And anyone who owns a house knows how expensive and time-consuming it is to maintain. Some of us have health issues and/or money issues that mean things don't get done. It's life. Just make the best you can with what you've got, and sod anyone else's judgement (which may surprise you, anyway!).

Thank you so much for this post. I really needed to read this today as I'm in exactly the same boat - feel like I'm drowning in toys! Off to fetch a bin bag... x