My partner and I have been together for almost 10 years. We have two children together, a 6 and 3 year old. It goes without saying that we are busy and often don’t get time together. In the past we’ve had our challenges but always worked through them although I think there’s still an element of resentment over some of the things sometimes.
He is helpful in so many ways, I work and he drops the kids off most day, does the washing, cleaning and laundry etc so I am incredibly appreciative of that. At the same time I find myself losing my temper more and more with him over not being present for myself and the kids. To the extent that I feel like I’m parenting alone sometimes.
It’s things like my son having tantrums (the 3 year old) and my partner just not being able to deal with it or communicate with him. So now I have to do everything but our son now doesn’t want to be with his dad at all only me. My partner gets frustrated with that but when I say spend some quality time together he spends maybe 5 minutes reading then gets his phone out to go on Twitter. My son’s behaviour then gets worse as he’s crying out for attention.
My partner hasn’t attended one parents evening for our daughter ever. He doesn’t help with her homework ever, do any reading with her etc.
If I don’t think of meals for him to add to our weekly shop he literally won’t buy food for the kids so it falls to me to do it which is another job on top of everything else
plus my full time job. He doesn’t even eat our dinners and makes his own.
In the evening he sits on the sofa on Twitter basically ignoring us all - I have to ask him constantly to talk to us but it’s like a chore. In the day he barely says two words to me outside of basic questions about who is doing what.
We’ve talked about it but nothing has changed and it’s always me trying to find a solution and im tired of it. It came to a head again this week as he made a passing comment about the kids needing an earlier bedtime and I lost it. I told him to
step up then and help out after I’ve done three plans for a better evening routine but I can do it without his help or should I say trying to fit around him. I said I feel like a convenient option for him to pay the bills and that he treats us as an inconvenience.
Last night I was making plans to go to the cinema with my stepdaughter (his dd from his previous marriage) - she’s staying with us and he hasn’t had more than a 5 minute discussion with her. We were really excited to go and he made this snide comment about at least it’s quiet in the cinema as he was grumpy trying to watch the football. I bit my tongue but raised it later to be told it was just a joke but it wasn’t.
Im seriously considering getting separation advice as we’re not married, he bought our house and is on the deeds but I provide all
the household income.
Am I over reacting?