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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Man on dating site asking for rude photos.

61 replies

patsy999 · 04/04/2024 08:21

Does anyone else get this.
Then because i wouldnt send him any, he told me i was flying too many red flags and said i was a prude.
Then he blocked me.

OP posts:
KreedKafer · 04/04/2024 10:58

cuckyplunt · 04/04/2024 08:33

Does anyone ever send the photos though? They must get a few hits or surely they’d stop asking?

Of course people do.

I personally would rather poke my own eyes out with a stick then send photos of my tits to some random on a dating site. But there are certainly women who find it a turn-on to show themselves off, and who don't particularly care where the photos end up.

Some people on dating sites (both women and men!) are only really on there for sexting and exchanging photos with strangers they have no intention of ever meeting. Not my thing, but whatever floats your boat.

DistinguishedSocialCommentator · 04/04/2024 11:00

To all

Stuff like this, engages brain cell and move on. No one is forcing you and its your choice - BUT - ALWAYS THINK WHERE THE PICS COULD END UP

Be sensible, be safe, be aware - plenty of more fish in the sea, trust me - move on, please

theeyeofdoe · 04/04/2024 11:10

Google "rude photos", take a picture, send asking if they're to his taste and then block him.

SheepAndSword · 04/04/2024 11:55

Waitingforeverandaday · 04/04/2024 09:16

From speaking to a few men on the apps it would seem they get their versions of this too. A lot of "only fans" girls and prostitutes advertised on there, it seems to be worse for them in terms of quantities.

Absolutely, male friend and I are on the same chatting (non dating) website.

We compare notes about unsolicited messages. Weirdly enough I get more only fans than he does 😂

I'm more polite in my responses to the women than the men and just say I'm a straight vanilla woman so not their target audience.

iwafs · 04/04/2024 11:56

patsy999 · 04/04/2024 08:21

Does anyone else get this.
Then because i wouldnt send him any, he told me i was flying too many red flags and said i was a prude.
Then he blocked me.

Sounds like the trash took itself out.

LlynTegid · 04/04/2024 12:24

The more women who respond like the OP, the more that unsuitable men remain single.

NewNameHello · 04/04/2024 12:26

Is it just me but who wants to see a dick pic? Just why??!

canyouletthedogoutplease · 04/04/2024 12:34

It a numbers game for sad men who don't know how to have a relationship with a woman in real life. If they ask 100 women and get one response then it's worth it. They get a little thrill, a dopamine hit, and have a sad little wank.

Sexy photos sent fake an intimacy that they can't achieve, and make them feel like they've got some control and power. Same with dick pics, it's like look at what I've got, they're trying to force a connection. It's grim. Block and ignore, don't let it put you off, just be very discerning from the outset, you'll need to be able to spot a wrong un at forty paces.

toomuchfaff · 04/04/2024 18:23

trash took itself out

SamW98 · 04/04/2024 18:41

I’m ancient (55) and had loads of similar requests. Or they ask if I want them to send a photo - usually or their dick and feel asking questions about sex or commenting on my body as the opening message is the way to win the ladies.

Sadly my experience is the majority of men in dating apps are sex pests

Mnetcurious · 04/04/2024 18:44

Gross. At least I suppose you can be grateful that he’s waved that red flag and so you know to avoid him.

LightSpeeds · 04/04/2024 18:49

Catza · 04/04/2024 08:34

Never really had this issue. Where are you guys finding these men?
I wouldn't really dignify this request with an answer. I'd just block them myself immediately. Unless we've been on multiple dates already and both feel in the mood for this sort of thing.

Where are you finding these men??

They're EVERYWHERE!!!

TheCadoganArms · 04/04/2024 19:02

Waitingforeverandaday · 04/04/2024 09:16

From speaking to a few men on the apps it would seem they get their versions of this too. A lot of "only fans" girls and prostitutes advertised on there, it seems to be worse for them in terms of quantities.

I ran the gauntlet of Internet dating for a number of years and while it is not common for women to send 'rude pics' during those inital early exchanges I would not go so far as saying it was uncommon either. Said pics were rarely as explicit as a 'dick pic' but I would definitely put them in the 'rude' category. I got the impression after a while that there is a sizable minority on main stream dating sites who would be better off just using a hook up site.

MauveOrPossiblyTaupe · 04/04/2024 19:43

SamW98 · 04/04/2024 18:41

I’m ancient (55) and had loads of similar requests. Or they ask if I want them to send a photo - usually or their dick and feel asking questions about sex or commenting on my body as the opening message is the way to win the ladies.

Sadly my experience is the majority of men in dating apps are sex pests

"Sadly the majority of men in those dating apps are sex pests."

Fixed it for you.

HRTQueen · 04/04/2024 19:45

so many men asked for explicit photos or just randomly sent a dick pick aka flashing

They are creeps who have no respect for you

block and move on and if on bumble report

CheeseSandwichRiskAssessment · 04/04/2024 19:46

Waitingforeverandaday · 04/04/2024 09:16

From speaking to a few men on the apps it would seem they get their versions of this too. A lot of "only fans" girls and prostitutes advertised on there, it seems to be worse for them in terms of quantities.

That's not the same at all. How does the fact that some women on dating apps are in the sex industry excuse men from pressuring women for nudes?

74Violette · 04/04/2024 21:25

These kind of men are not usually even wanting to meet up, they're just using the site for wank material and easy thrills. They're likely married or attached anyway.

FrancisSeaton · 04/04/2024 21:27

YABU to use the term 'rude photos'

SamW98 · 04/04/2024 21:54

CheeseSandwichRiskAssessment · 04/04/2024 19:46

That's not the same at all. How does the fact that some women on dating apps are in the sex industry excuse men from pressuring women for nudes?

Whenever the subject of crap blokes on OLD comes up there’s always a couple who can’t wait to tell us it’s so much worse for the poor menz bless em

FillyourPothole · 04/04/2024 21:55

if it happens again send them a screenshot of their own face with a cock and balls drawn on their forehead

Catza · 05/04/2024 08:19

LightSpeeds · 04/04/2024 18:49

Where are you finding these men??

They're EVERYWHERE!!!

I'm sure it is just that I strangely never came across one.

Waitingforeverandaday · 05/04/2024 08:23

SamW98 · 04/04/2024 21:54

Whenever the subject of crap blokes on OLD comes up there’s always a couple who can’t wait to tell us it’s so much worse for the poor menz bless em

Edited

I haven't said they have it worse though.

SamW98 · 05/04/2024 08:39

Catza · 05/04/2024 08:19

I'm sure it is just that I strangely never came across one.

You’re very lucky then as every woman I know has had more than their fair share of creepy sleazy sexual pests on OLD as well as in the outside world
I’ve had more than I can count

LimeAnkles · 05/04/2024 08:58

Send him a picture of a red flag with the message "I think you dropped this"

Jillybloop393 · 05/04/2024 09:04

It's a shame if you've come off the sites because of him. Go back on - hopefully there are some genuine chaps on there, but just block any that you think are behaving badly.