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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Parent and child spaces should be for those with children 5 and under

755 replies

seize · 03/04/2024 16:41

Parent-child parking spaces at supermarkets should be reserved primarily for those with children aged 5 and under, aside from older children with special needs (although a blue badge might be more appropriate where they meet the criteria, in these cases).

I was alone with my 4 month old today, the trolleys with the baby seats are kept next to these spaces. The spaces which have the easiest access to the trolleys had all been taken with the last taken by someone just before me, I reversed into a space around the corner and the driver was shaking their head at me, presumedly because their space only had extra room on one side and my space came up to them (see picture). I was surprised to then see them get out with a child of about 13. I saw multiple other people using these spaces with children looking like teenagers. I was able to get a space which still had fairly easy access to the trolleys, albeit by needing to walk on the road and inbetween the other cars, multiple people had parked in the spaces with the easiest access with much older children. I was lucky to get a space at all, had I not I would have had to walk across the busy carpark holding my baby.

YANBU- Just because someone has a child under 16 doesn’t mean they should take up these spaces, they should save them for people who need them the most.

YABU- first come first served, who cares if someone with a baby is having to traipse across a busy car park holding a baby to get to the baby trolleys.

Parent and child spaces should be for those with children 5 and under
OP posts:
ilovesooty · 03/04/2024 17:38

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Does it have to be dragged into every thread?

Chylka · 03/04/2024 17:38

I walk there with a rucksack or get an online shop in. Really can’t get worked up about parent and child spaces.

Allfur · 03/04/2024 17:39

NoisySnail · 03/04/2024 17:28

If supermarkets put these at the back of the car park it would solve all the issues.

Haha, that slightly defeats the point of them - I do wonder however why people with young kids don't just get deliveries

DiamondArtists · 03/04/2024 17:39

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

MrsMurphyIWish · 03/04/2024 17:40

seize · 03/04/2024 17:33

@QuarkBlisterbum parents of a 6 year old don't need to access the baby trolleys which most supermarkets only have a handful of. I don't want to go all the way across a car park to go back and forth to where these trolleys are with a baby because you want to park next to them with a 6 year old.

@seize Then your issue is with the supermarket and the layout of facilities. I will continue to use P and C spaces with DS until it is safe to do so.

Kalevala · 03/04/2024 17:40

seize · 03/04/2024 17:33

@QuarkBlisterbum parents of a 6 year old don't need to access the baby trolleys which most supermarkets only have a handful of. I don't want to go all the way across a car park to go back and forth to where these trolleys are with a baby because you want to park next to them with a 6 year old.

All the way? Just take the next closest spot surely?

seize · 03/04/2024 17:41

@ilovesooty this. I wasn't focusing on any specific vocabulary when I wrote about being pregnant.

This thread is not about children with additional needs as specified in the OP. Nor is it about women's rights.

It's simply the school holidays and many people seem to be using these spaces with older children, unless each one has a hidden disability they were preventing those with very young babies using them.

OP posts:
Babyyygirl · 03/04/2024 17:41

Wibblywobblylikejelly · 03/04/2024 16:49

I'm going to keep using them while mine are under 12.

End of the day it's a shop. Everyone will be fine. Its 1st come 1st served.

You don't need the extra space for a pram, getting baby in and out of car seat etc. Babies and toddlers only. Stop being selfish.

YaMuvva · 03/04/2024 17:41

CagneyAndLazy · 03/04/2024 17:06

Yep.

They're only provided as a marketing tool - "got to have P&C spaces because all the other supermarkets do, and parents spend lots of money"

If another group of people were identified as spending loads of money, the spaces would be for them instead.

BINGO!

I knew the mArkEtIng TooL point would be made. Why do people think this is a gotcha - everything the supermarket does is a marketing tool. The fact you know the supermarket’s name means you’ve fallen for marketing. Do you think they provide a variety of trollies, 3 for 2 offers and other things that make people choose that market out of the goodness of their heart?

PotatoPudding · 03/04/2024 17:42

In Morrison’s, they’re parent and toddler spaces, not parent and child.

Medschoolmum · 03/04/2024 17:43

seize · 03/04/2024 17:33

@QuarkBlisterbum parents of a 6 year old don't need to access the baby trolleys which most supermarkets only have a handful of. I don't want to go all the way across a car park to go back and forth to where these trolleys are with a baby because you want to park next to them with a 6 year old.

But why do you think what you want should trump what other people want? You don't seem to realise how entitled you sound.

I don't think carrying a baby across a car park is a big deal. I don't think walking across a car park with an NT 6yo is a big deal either. Both of you might want a p&c space near the shop, but neither of you actually need one.

It would be far better to scrap these spaces altogether, make it easier for people who need the extra space to get blue badges and double the number of disabled spaces available.

MrsMurphyIWish · 03/04/2024 17:44

seize · 03/04/2024 17:41

@ilovesooty this. I wasn't focusing on any specific vocabulary when I wrote about being pregnant.

This thread is not about children with additional needs as specified in the OP. Nor is it about women's rights.

It's simply the school holidays and many people seem to be using these spaces with older children, unless each one has a hidden disability they were preventing those with very young babies using them.

@seize As it’s been pointed out, blue badges are very difficult to qualify for. You’re probably facing a greater influx of parents as it is the holidays - don’t worry, next week you will avoid us parents with children with hidden disabilities!

dreadisabaddog · 03/04/2024 17:45

Be a bit cautious @seize. A woman had a massive go at me in Tesco car park a few weeks ago when my 12yo climbed out of the back of the car and was pretty embarrassed when I pulled my toddler out of the other side

seize · 03/04/2024 17:45

@MrsMurphyIWish are there any other times I can avoid you specifically?

OP posts:
Allfur · 03/04/2024 17:45

Medschoolmum · 03/04/2024 17:43

But why do you think what you want should trump what other people want? You don't seem to realise how entitled you sound.

I don't think carrying a baby across a car park is a big deal. I don't think walking across a car park with an NT 6yo is a big deal either. Both of you might want a p&c space near the shop, but neither of you actually need one.

It would be far better to scrap these spaces altogether, make it easier for people who need the extra space to get blue badges and double the number of disabled spaces available.

Does any one 'need' any parking space ?

YaMuvva · 03/04/2024 17:46

KeinLiebeslied54321 · 03/04/2024 17:16

The existence of these spaces appears to make some (entitled) people's lives mote stressful - if we believe much of MN that is!

MN is definitely a parallel universe where a small roast chicken last for weeks, everyone’s child is ‘tall and lean’ and 6’9” by the age of 10, 15 degrees is ‘toasty warm’ and grown women are ‘stuffed full’ after eating a pickled onion

Kalevala · 03/04/2024 17:46

It's simply the school holidays and many people seem to be using these spaces with older children, unless each one has a hidden disability they were preventing those with very young babies using them.

They very easily could all have disabilities. Especially if their parent is needing to bring them shopping rather than leave them at home for an hour (assuming we are talking about, say, 10 year old children?).

Sirzy · 03/04/2024 17:46

seize · 03/04/2024 17:41

@ilovesooty this. I wasn't focusing on any specific vocabulary when I wrote about being pregnant.

This thread is not about children with additional needs as specified in the OP. Nor is it about women's rights.

It's simply the school holidays and many people seem to be using these spaces with older children, unless each one has a hidden disability they were preventing those with very young babies using them.

But the key thing is you have no idea at all why someone has parked there. They may have a need for the space they may be selfish but what will getting worked up over it do?

you can’t control other people.

YaMuvva · 03/04/2024 17:48

KeinLiebeslied54321 · 03/04/2024 17:23

Is stressing about or feeling like you can police a parking space actually making life easier?

It makes it easier when you have small children yes. Obviously.

And TBH the mummy martyrs who claim they’ve never used one even if it’s available just seem like liars to me

Medschoolmum · 03/04/2024 17:48

seize · 03/04/2024 17:41

@ilovesooty this. I wasn't focusing on any specific vocabulary when I wrote about being pregnant.

This thread is not about children with additional needs as specified in the OP. Nor is it about women's rights.

It's simply the school holidays and many people seem to be using these spaces with older children, unless each one has a hidden disability they were preventing those with very young babies using them.

Yes, and lots of us are saying that it's no big deal that parents with babies couldn't find p&c spaces because nobody really needs them anyway. This just isn't an issue that is worth making a fuss about.

Adequate provision for parents of children with disabilities or additional needs is something that is worth talking about though. So it's natural that some posters will try to change the subject to something a little less trivial.

YaMuvva · 03/04/2024 17:49

MrsMurphyIWish · 03/04/2024 17:26

If so, can us parents of disabled children who don’t qualify for a blue badge get our own spots please? After a few years new parents will forget about the trials of P and C years etc - but some of us will have them til teen years.

Id 100% support that - and accessible spaces for those who can’t get a blue badge (I know how hard it is and they’re like hen’s teeth)

Allfur · 03/04/2024 17:50

Medschoolmum · 03/04/2024 17:48

Yes, and lots of us are saying that it's no big deal that parents with babies couldn't find p&c spaces because nobody really needs them anyway. This just isn't an issue that is worth making a fuss about.

Adequate provision for parents of children with disabilities or additional needs is something that is worth talking about though. So it's natural that some posters will try to change the subject to something a little less trivial.

Is parking for anyone worth making a deal about? Isn't it entitled to expect to park whenever you want?

YaMuvva · 03/04/2024 17:50

NoisySnail · 03/04/2024 17:28

If supermarkets put these at the back of the car park it would solve all the issues.

I agree with this, as long as there’s traffic calming measures and crossings to make sure children are safe

FlyingHighFlyingLow · 03/04/2024 17:51

People are entitled shits. Not long after Christmas I was out with my 10 week old. I was waiting for a space someone was pulling out of. Fucker in a Mercedes pulled around me across the road at an
angle, blocking me from getting in the space and the whole road, and taking it themselves. No child in the car whatsoever. Man in his 50s/60s perfectly able bodied. I did yell at him, he told me to fuck off as its 'advisory' but his car needed it.

Medschoolmum · 03/04/2024 17:51

YaMuvva · 03/04/2024 17:48

It makes it easier when you have small children yes. Obviously.

And TBH the mummy martyrs who claim they’ve never used one even if it’s available just seem like liars to me

Oh I used them when dd was little and spaces were available. Why not? I'm a lazy parker, the wider spaces were convenient and the p&c section was near the shop.

I didn't need them though, and managed perfectly well in normal spaces when the p&c ones weren't available. These threads were a thing on MN even back then, and I was as bemused by them at that time as I am now.

It's almost as if people relish the opportunity to be self righteously aggrieved!