Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Parent and child spaces should be for those with children 5 and under

755 replies

seize · 03/04/2024 16:41

Parent-child parking spaces at supermarkets should be reserved primarily for those with children aged 5 and under, aside from older children with special needs (although a blue badge might be more appropriate where they meet the criteria, in these cases).

I was alone with my 4 month old today, the trolleys with the baby seats are kept next to these spaces. The spaces which have the easiest access to the trolleys had all been taken with the last taken by someone just before me, I reversed into a space around the corner and the driver was shaking their head at me, presumedly because their space only had extra room on one side and my space came up to them (see picture). I was surprised to then see them get out with a child of about 13. I saw multiple other people using these spaces with children looking like teenagers. I was able to get a space which still had fairly easy access to the trolleys, albeit by needing to walk on the road and inbetween the other cars, multiple people had parked in the spaces with the easiest access with much older children. I was lucky to get a space at all, had I not I would have had to walk across the busy carpark holding my baby.

YANBU- Just because someone has a child under 16 doesn’t mean they should take up these spaces, they should save them for people who need them the most.

YABU- first come first served, who cares if someone with a baby is having to traipse across a busy car park holding a baby to get to the baby trolleys.

Parent and child spaces should be for those with children 5 and under
OP posts:
TimeToStopLurking · 03/04/2024 20:00

Wow some of these replies are so snarky. I don't have a a boot, only a sliding side door to get my pram out of. I need that space to the side which those extra parent and child spaces offer.

Or I end up driving around circling hoping I can park at the end of a row so no one next to me.

So it's not just getting in and out of the car seat but the ability to get the pram in and out for me. Don't think it's unreasonable for people with older kids to go for regular spaces.

Woahthehorsey · 03/04/2024 20:10

Nope. Hard disagree.

Much easier to traipse across a carpark with a baby than with a 6&8 year old.

Flopsy145 · 03/04/2024 20:10

ColleenDonaghy · 03/04/2024 19:59

So... Could have had an invisible disability then.

What invisible disability would mean they don't have a blue badge and need to be closer to a shop than a walking toddler?
And to add, she could have said "really sorry I have an invisible disability that's why I'm parking here"

SpindarellaRockafella · 03/04/2024 20:10

berksandbeyond · 03/04/2024 19:34

How did breastfeeding mean you needed the space, out of interest? Or do you just love any reason to add that bit? 😂

Good point. I supposed I meant just frazzled and anxious knowing I’d need to find somewhere to feed by new born and then in later months needing to stay in the car a bit longer.
maybe that’s true for bottle feeding too but I meant that when there’s no routine or anything like that. Just speaking from my experience - all of it - which I believe I’m entitled to do.

Sprogonthetyne · 03/04/2024 20:14

I actually found them more useful with slightly older children (3-6/7). Babies go straight from being strapped in the car seat to being carried or contained in a trolley or pushchair. Older children are more of a risk walking across the carpark, especially on the way back to the car, when your carrying bags and don't have a hand free to hold them.

They also might try to open doors for themselves, so the extra room stops them bumping other cars. Also I found I had to open the door the wildest during the year or so after they moved up to hbb but still needed me to strap them in, as I had to lean right over them to plug in. Whereas when they were in 5 point harness, I only had to open it enough to get them in and reach my arm in to buckle up.

Woahthehorsey · 03/04/2024 20:15

Flopsy145 · 03/04/2024 20:10

What invisible disability would mean they don't have a blue badge and need to be closer to a shop than a walking toddler?
And to add, she could have said "really sorry I have an invisible disability that's why I'm parking here"

Edited

In some areas it's nigh on impossible to get a blue badge. And if a child is going through an assessment period or i.e. is receiving a short term treatment for an illness which makes them weaker, then the won't be eligible for a blue badge.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe · 03/04/2024 20:15

Flopsy145 · 03/04/2024 20:10

What invisible disability would mean they don't have a blue badge and need to be closer to a shop than a walking toddler?
And to add, she could have said "really sorry I have an invisible disability that's why I'm parking here"

Edited

She absolutely wasn't answerable to you. When the P&C spaces are available then park in them, when they're not you can't.

These courtesy spaces really do cause so much angst and entitlement and it would be better for supermarkets to make all spaces a bit wider - and prioritise BB spaces at the closest entrance. I've seen P&C spaces there before now, with BB spaces further away. Absolutely ridiculous.

ZoeCM · 03/04/2024 20:16

Okay, maybe I'm being naive here - but if there was evidence that parent & child spaces improved safety, surely they'd be legally required by now, like disabled spaces are? I'm pretty sure they're only there because families with children tend to spend more money, so supermarkets want to reduce the chances of a parent thinking, "Damn it, there's nowhere to park, I'll try another shop." P&C spaces are a nice bonus, but that's it. It's not a safety issue.

FlyingHighFlyingLow · 03/04/2024 20:16

eatsleepfarmrepeat · 03/04/2024 19:47

Please don’t do this. If you have a small child, it’s really important they are not in those car seats for any length of time.

I got a car seat that fully reclines. Cybex cloud T. Baby is perfectly safe to sleep in it while I shop as usually falls asleep in car.

LlynTegid · 03/04/2024 20:20

Parent and child spaces are nothing more than a polite request and/or a sop to planners. Supermarkets have no intention of enforcing them, and in any case hardly ever support staff when unreasonable customers ask or object to something.

The best way to improve matters would be to restrict SUVs and take away the 25% or so of people who have a licence and should not have one. The resulting extra space from smaller cars and better driving standards would mean less use of wider car spaces.

Medschoolmum · 03/04/2024 20:20

Flopsy145 · 03/04/2024 19:48

If they have a blue badge and no disabled spaces left, or are very elderly, then yes of course. Sorry should have clarified that.
A non blue badge holding middle aged woman with no obvious injuries took the last baby and child space the other day, in torrential rain when I had my toddler who I had to walk across the car park. Despite me pulling up and asking the woman if she had any kids because these spaces were for parents and children (she ignored me)

Well, I'm not surprised that she ignored you, she probably thought you were ridiculous pulling up to interrogate her.

You have absolutely no idea why she was using that space. Maybe she has a blue badge but had forgotten it. Maybe she thought she didn't need to display it in a courtesy space that wasn't actually a disabled one. Maybe she is is the process of applying for a blue badge. Maybe she was picking someone up with a blue badge or small child. You have no means of knowing whether she had a valid reason or was just doing whatever she wanted to do.

And honestly, so what if your toddler had to walk across the car park in the rain? It's just rain?!

Seaside3 · 03/04/2024 20:21

I agree.
But also, do online shopping. Literally no one needs to be dragging a baby/toddler around a supermarket. Make life easier ans less stressful for for yourself.

SpeedyDrama · 03/04/2024 20:22

Flopsy145 · 03/04/2024 20:10

What invisible disability would mean they don't have a blue badge and need to be closer to a shop than a walking toddler?
And to add, she could have said "really sorry I have an invisible disability that's why I'm parking here"

Edited

Plenty. You clearly have no idea how difficult it is to get a Blue Badge - for my son I found it more difficult than getting him DLA or and EHCP in terms of applying with clear evidence of need.

No one need to explain their medical conditions to others unless of immediate importance. Which a parking space with no legality tied to it certainly is not.

ColleenDonaghy · 03/04/2024 20:23

Flopsy145 · 03/04/2024 20:10

What invisible disability would mean they don't have a blue badge and need to be closer to a shop than a walking toddler?
And to add, she could have said "really sorry I have an invisible disability that's why I'm parking here"

Edited

Inability to walk far due to heart/lung/joint problems.

Chronic fatigue due to any number of medical conditions.

Left the blue badge at home.

I'm sure a thousand other reasons, it's not easy to get a blue badge.

Mostly, she didn't owe you an explanation, she wasn't breaking the law, you're not the police or a parking attendant.

Molonty · 03/04/2024 20:23

seize · 03/04/2024 16:50

@OolongTeaDrinker I've always been a believer in "just because you can, doesn't mean you should". Some supermarkets say pregnant people are free to use their parent and child spaces. I was happy to park at the back of the car park and walk even when heavily pregnant as I simply didn't need these spaces as much as others. I know many struggle to walk and have back pain in pregnancy, they have a greater need.

As for the M25, it's a busy supermarket in a small town and it's the school holidays, so yes full of cars with no footpaths and I wouldn't feel safe walking across it with a baby because someone with a teenager has parked in the spaces allocated for people like me.

You must realise that people coped for a very long time without all these special places? There are SO many places that don't offer these bays and what do you do then? Honestly the preciousness of people these days. Who are you to decide the age of the child?

SabreIsMyFave · 03/04/2024 20:24

Molonty · 03/04/2024 20:23

You must realise that people coped for a very long time without all these special places? There are SO many places that don't offer these bays and what do you do then? Honestly the preciousness of people these days. Who are you to decide the age of the child?

👏

Medschoolmum · 03/04/2024 20:24

Flopsy145 · 03/04/2024 20:10

What invisible disability would mean they don't have a blue badge and need to be closer to a shop than a walking toddler?
And to add, she could have said "really sorry I have an invisible disability that's why I'm parking here"

Edited

She doesn't owe you an explanation of her medical history, though. She doesn't have to justify her behaviour to you at all. Those spaces are just a courtesy, not an entitlement.

lateatwork · 03/04/2024 20:30

Just get your shopping home delivered..

CarrotCake01 · 03/04/2024 20:31

seize · 03/04/2024 17:33

@QuarkBlisterbum parents of a 6 year old don't need to access the baby trolleys which most supermarkets only have a handful of. I don't want to go all the way across a car park to go back and forth to where these trolleys are with a baby because you want to park next to them with a 6 year old.

🤦🏼‍♀️ the parent and child spaces are there so parents that have to help small children in and out of car seats etc can do so without damaging other peoples property. My daughter needs the door open quite wide to climb in and frankly, I need the extra bit of space so I can get my fat ass between the cars and do up my daughters buckle and tighten the straps 😂 not a problem teenagers necessarily have of course.

But, it's no different to when she was 5, or 4 .. or 3... I don't really get where the f you've snatched the number 5 from as your age limit OP to be fair. Sure, I remember the days of having to carry my baby to the trolley bay after I parked although I can't recall it being particularly traumatic for either of us. In my local shops the trolleys aren't actually next to the parent & child spaces anyway. The spaces are just wider and in some cases either closer to the entrance or in a quieter area off to the side so there's less traffic.

FunkyMonks · 03/04/2024 20:34

I still use the parent and child parking my DS has autism so it's safer he's 6 years old my DD is 5 years old and as other PPs have pointed out the signs do state for 12 and under so I will continue using them.

Iwasafool · 03/04/2024 20:35

Hoplittlebunnyhophophopandstop · 03/04/2024 16:49

Parent and child spaces are to allow enough space to fasten and unfasten a child car seat. They’re not to make to make it a shorter walk. I wish they would put them all at the far side of the car park to put off people who don’t need to use them.

Yes that would be better. At our local supermarket it is the disabled spaces that are further away from the entrance so you get people with limited mobility walking past a long line of cars in P&C spaces. Seems crazy to me.

Flopsy145 · 03/04/2024 20:35

Medschoolmum · 03/04/2024 20:24

She doesn't owe you an explanation of her medical history, though. She doesn't have to justify her behaviour to you at all. Those spaces are just a courtesy, not an entitlement.

Well her mocking me and smirking did lead me to believe she's just a CF not anyone with an invisible disability which upon a quick Google would render you no less able to cross a car park than it would to walk around a shop unaided and unattended.
It's a courtesy offered for a reason, to help parents and make car parks safer for kids, not for people who just didn't fancy getting wet in the rain

MrsMitford3 · 03/04/2024 20:36

I was going to supermarket with newborn and 18 month old.

I am showing my age by saying back then the newborn car seats had handles and you took the whole (heavy) thing out with baby in and carried like a basket.

It was raining and miserable and we were soaked and as I was passing the last Mother and Child spot there was a woman-alone-unloading her shopping. I said these spots are for mother's with children and she said "I know-I just dropped mine off at school" 🙄 there are def levels of entitlement!!

I also think the wider spaces for M&C should be at the very back so ppl who need the extra space can use and others won't be tempted by proximity to store.

IrishWombat · 03/04/2024 20:40

I agree mostly OP, however regarding special needs children, my son he sen and was in a pram until he was 7yo for his safety/really bad anxiety but he doesn’t have a blue badge or claim DLA. It is hard when children have invisible disabilities. Even now aged 9 I’d wanted to park in a parent and child bay as he’s unpredictable. I don’t have a car so it’s not an issue for me personally.

Medschoolmum · 03/04/2024 20:44

Flopsy145 · 03/04/2024 20:35

Well her mocking me and smirking did lead me to believe she's just a CF not anyone with an invisible disability which upon a quick Google would render you no less able to cross a car park than it would to walk around a shop unaided and unattended.
It's a courtesy offered for a reason, to help parents and make car parks safer for kids, not for people who just didn't fancy getting wet in the rain

Well, it might be that she didn't fancy getting wet in the rain. From what you've said, walking across the car park in the rain seems to have been your biggest objection to not being able to use the P&C space in any case.

On the other hand, the mocking/smirking response might have been her way of dealing with an embarrassing situation/unwanted confrontation with a batshit lady.

You sound very ignorant about hidden disabilities. Maybe you should educate yourself a bit?