Would you let your children do this?

[Mellowmallow201]

Children aged 10 and 7. Walk to the shops on their own. They have to cross 3 main roads with heavy traffic. Once in the main village they have to cross one of these roads where heavy duty vehicles eg big lorries have to fit around a small tight corner. Often these lorries bump the kerb to try fit round the bend.

These aren't my children, just wondered if it was unreasonable to let them do it?

No

No.

Depends on the children. My children, yes.

Yes.

No I wouldn't. It's one thing letting the 10 yr old do this, another giving them responsibility of a 7 yr old.

Yes to the 10 year old. Probably not to the 7 year old, but I’d want to see what the area was like for myself before saying for sure. The OP makes it sound very dangerous, but as you say it’s a village I’m not sure it’s as dramatic as the OP makes out.

Definitely not.

Just seen this on our community page of the corner I was talking about where it's a tight squeeze for the lorries and big vehicles. The wall was knocked down this morning because of a lorry and the police have closed the road. So as you can see this is why I was concerned especially for the younger child.

I'm not being a busy body. I do have actual concern, I know the younger child well as they are DC friend.

Just posted pic below of what happened this morning. This hasn't happened before but the village have lodged many complaints about how dangerous it is going through the village and around the narrow bends

10 year old yes, 7 year old no.

I don’t think I claimed otherwise? I’m simply saying that “children aren’t safe to cross the road until 11” is not an objective fact, at all.

I also said it depended on the 10yo and 7yo. My own 10yo is savvy and sensible and quite honestly could probably go to Uni now and be fine - whereas I couldn’t even trust my 7yo to carry his own umbrella let alone cross a road alone (or even with his sister).

No. I have a very similar layout near me. I have just started to let my 10 year old do this with his older sister but below that age I don't think they can judge traffic properly even if they're sensible. And it's not fair on a young teenager to be responsible for someone younger in that situation.

I do think some parents end up making their children fearful and incompetent when moving around in the world because they’ve micromanaged and supervised every aspect of their lives.

I agree with this and I don’t think parents realise that FAR more damage is being done to their children by citing a crime that occurred 24 years ago as a reasonable excuse to strictly limit their independence.

We are custodians of our kids not controllers

Yes there’s more traffic but it’s safer now in so many ways - more CCTV, kids are better educated about stranger danger (in the 80’s and 90’s it was ‘don’t follow a man if he says he has puppies or sweets’ I mean WTF) more speed awareness and not nearly as many drink drivers. Drink driving was fairly common and normalised on the 90’s, I remember our neighbours would come home from the pub and park in their bush rather than their drive because they were pissed

I disagree, whilst there’s more traffic, it’s so much safer now in so many ways. Children are better educated about strangers danger - in the 80’s and 90’s the party line was “Don’t follow men if they say they have puppies or sweets in their van” no further explanation (I mean WTF) - kids have mobile phones, more CCTV, more speed awareness and FAR less drunk driving, which was common and normalised in the 90’s. I remember our neighbour would often come home and park in his bush rather than on his drive because he was so pissed.

Depends entirely on the children in my opinion. If they are mature, streetwise and smart then of course it’s fine. If they were SEN or immature impulsive or generally demicky then probably not.

@NoKnit I totally understand trusting your children, you are the person who will know them best.
If by chance this thread is about you can I ask how you're feeling about the pictures? As much as you trust your children , you clearly cannot rely on others actions.

@Concannon88 is it possible you could save the blame for the perpetrators and not the parents of the deceased children? I would imagine your 'blame' pales into insignificance compared to their own.

Fine to be concerned but their parents will have made the decision so nothing to do with you. We all have different lines in the sand for our DC and don't get to choose for others.

Surely it’s all relative and the parents are the ones to make the decision.

My 9 year old (AuDHD) wouldn’t as we don’t have any main roads for miles around so is completely unfamiliar with them, and isn’t very good at staying focused. However, to live where there are three main roads so close together suggests much more familiarity with those types of roads.

Where I grew up you had no choice but to navigate big roads with lorries etc. so I guess it seems reasonable. They need to learn sometimes. Being driven around until they then get their own licence isn't practical.
The 10 yo is nearly secondary age, and the younger one would follow the lead of the older one. Accidents do happen but the more road safety aware they are the better.

Yes. As long as I’d walked it through with them, seen them do it a few times without any direction from me, and knew they knew how to do it safely, then yes.

My DD is almost 7 and is very responsible. It would be a no from me, and I am very relaxed about freedom and independence.

Even the 10 year old in those circumstances would be a difficult one and would heavily depend on the child and their aversion to risk.

It's normal around here for children to do similar journeys from the age of 8, and we're in a town that only has one zebra crossing - every single other crossing point is based on your own common sense, including outside all the schools.

So, around here I would say yes, but maybe not in a city or a busier town.

I might let the 10 year old do it on their own if they were sensible/ mature. I certainly wouldn't let them take a 7 year old with them.

My 11 year old (when she was 10) - yes I did and still do. Its quite normal for children of this age to make these kinds of journeys on foot, bus or by bike where I live in Scotland.

7 year old IMO its too young and the 10 year old isn't old enough to supervise.

But for all these things it really depends on the individual child and area.