Would you let your children do this?

[Mellowmallow201]

Children aged 10 and 7. Walk to the shops on their own. They have to cross 3 main roads with heavy traffic. Once in the main village they have to cross one of these roads where heavy duty vehicles eg big lorries have to fit around a small tight corner. Often these lorries bump the kerb to try fit round the bend.

These aren't my children, just wondered if it was unreasonable to let them do it?

It would depend what they were like crossing roads. Mine wouldn’t have been up for it, though if I’d put some effort in, maybe they’d have learnt how to manage safely. As it was they had places they could go at that age that only had minor roads/roads with crossings.

They could be abducted by aliens
They could combust
The could be sitting on their living room and have a car come through.
None of the above is impossible but it’s VERY unhealthy to make decisions based on the assumption the above WILL happen.

Your kids will absolutely not thank you for being overbearing and restricting their freedom. They will get to an age where boosting their self esteem should be your priority and freaking out about highly, highly unlikely occurrences is one guaranteed way to Crush every fibre of their self esteem. They may not be raped and murdered but they WILL be miserable with the restrictions on their life. Although FYI your child is more likely to be raped and killed by someone they know.

Yes a bit of an odd set up.

My guess - OP REALLY wants to judge another parents and wants other people to join in and has perhaps exaggerated the details

I say its fine, I'm not talking crap at all.
My kids all did much more than this by those ages, and I wouldn't change it.

Children under 11 do not have the ability to judge the distance of oncoming traffic travelling over 20 miles an hour. The children literally would not be able to cross safely. There has been research on this. Add into the mix that they could be prone to unpredictable behaviour such as running across to see a friend, or being startled by a loud truck, this would be a no for me.

Also having the 10 year old being responsible for the 7 year old could cause problems. They could have an argument on the way and one of them strop off. Far too many reasons to not allow this situation.

This claim is based on a 14 year old study involving asking just 100 children to guess the speed of cars. it was not medical research that examined cognitive functions.

So it’s not the case that children under 11 ‘literally can’t cross the road safely’. Nothing happens on the brain magically on a child’s 11th birthday. When citing studies please do basic research on what the study involves. This kind of study produces an educated guess based on a very small sample size, rather than an objective medical fact. It is very clearly not a medical fact.

Absolutely not. They're both too young to judge speed and distance. They just haven't developed that skill at that age. 10 is also too young to be responsible for a 7 year old in those circumstances. I could go on and on with why they shouldn't.

That study also shows 10-11 year olds have singing a toy better perception than that of 6-9 year olds

@YaMuvva of course younger children are developmentally less able to cross a road. Their brains have not developed fully. Crossing a road requires a lot of skill and applying critical thought.

This paper is more modern and shows younger children can’t make good road crossing decisions-Science direct link
It shows that 8 year olds and 11 year olds are similar but a 6 year old makes bad choices.

Who knows how good the OP children are? There is a real possibility the 7 year old can’t judge when to cross and could be relying on an immature 11 year old..

I haven’t done a full blown literature review for you but it isn’t difficult to have a quick look round for information on the subject.

No way. I think they are too young, especially the 7 year old.

Nope

I meant that I am with them all the time and so struggle to "let go" as I am used to being in control of them. My friends/family members don't seem to struggle so much as they are used to being apart more and their children are often more independent as a result of group childcare. It wasn't a value judgment on anyone but myself!

Depends on the children. I’m all for them having some independence and responsibility when they are ready for it. If they have demonstrated they consistently navigate the route together safely and behave responsibly then why not? Is there is pavement all the way, street lighting and a decent clear stretch to cross? I’m not persuaded by the bad driver argument - a vehicle mounting the pavement will injure anyone they strike, adult of child of any age.

I do think some parents end up making their children fearful and incompetent when moving around in the world because they’ve micromanaged and supervised every aspect of their lives. But if they are not your kids you don’t know their capabilities so can’t judge unless you see them being daft while doing it.

Not your kids, not discussed with parents first, yes unreasonable. Your kids, in their own area, where you know who their personalities and if they will behave which major road crossings, your choice

I did from the time I was 9, right down to crossing near a tight corner where big trucks went around, and took my younger sibling with me. Someone had to buy my father his ciggies. I don't think it would be considered acceptable in this day and age and I definitely wouldn't make that decision about someone else's kids.

There was an article in I think the times recently about how overprotective parenting trends have led to increased anxiety and decreased maturity in children and young people, because they haven’t had the necessary formative experiences to learn and feel capable and confident.

in terms of three busy main roads and no traffic lights, I probably wouldn’t let them, but a trip to the corner shop or staying home while I went out - absolutely (as long as they were ok with it). My 6yo loves doing things independently - going out to fetch parcels from the mailbox on the ground floor of our building, taking the lift by himself.

No, not unless there is some kind of crossing on each street. Apparently kids don't have developed perception of distance until a certain age. Can't remember what I read, but I'm sure it was around 11 or 12

No.

It’s not the same as going out twenty years ago. There’s more traffic, it’s faster and people don’t give a fuck.

Mine are pretty space aware and sensible. They also grew up on a busy B road that they had to cross every day for school, they would be perfectly fine. My eldest went to the shop 5 mins away age 10 onwards. Some of her classmates wouldn't be mature enough though.

It depends on many factors.
Is it the route you walk every day,twice with them to school and back?
Is the 10 yo very mature?
The 7yo sensible?
Has the 10 yo done the trip alone?

No of course not.

Yeah thats fine, everyone walks to school etc alone from 6/7 here, zero issues with road crossing.

Absolutely no way.

Three main roads with no safe crossings? Probably not at those ages.

My two DD9 and DD7 walk to the shops together in our village they have to cross 1 road and the front of our house.
I track DD9 on her phone and watch them cross there and back.
But no way would I allow them to cross any main roads alone.