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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Too soon to get engaged?

80 replies

SleepyHollowed84 · 02/04/2024 21:15

My younger sister is 28 and got out of a 7 year long relationship in December 2022. She met her new boyfriend (aged 25) on a dating app one year ago. As soon as they met they became exclusive and have just celebrated one year together.

They are talking about getting engaged next year.

We have just had a big argument because I have expressed concern that it is moving too fast and I was asking what's the rush? She argues that when you know it's right, it's right. I worry that they haven't known each other long enough to make that big decision, especially given it was only 3 months between a big break up and a new relationship starting.

AIBU to think knowing someone for 2 years is too quick to commit to marriage?

Or should I keep my nose out of it?

YABU - it's none of your business
YANBU - it seems to be moving quite fast

Grateful for any opinions. I don't want this to come between us but I only want what's best for her.

OP posts:
Testina · 03/04/2024 06:48

I am bemused that “being exclusive” straight away is seen by OP as part of moving quickly. That used to absolutely be the norm!

Noyesnoyes · 03/04/2024 06:53

Testina · 03/04/2024 06:48

I am bemused that “being exclusive” straight away is seen by OP as part of moving quickly. That used to absolutely be the norm!

Exactly what I posted earlier on! I'm glad I don't date today when expecting respect is seen as unusual.

123sunshine · 03/04/2024 07:15

You clearly have reservations and don’t think this guy is the right one for your sister. However it’s her life and decision to make. When I met my husband at age 39 I was a divorced single mum. I had dated a fair bit on and off for 5 years (not in front of my children, in my child free time) and had vowed off of ever marrying again and didn’t really see myself finding anyone to share my life with. However I met my now husband and we were married 18 months later. I’m sure plenty thought we were moving too fast and had opinions, but they didn’t really air them. 7 years down the line we are very happy and definitely made the right decision. Sometimes you just know.

Anonanonandon · 03/04/2024 07:42

My DH and I got engaged 6 months after we started dating and have been together for 35 years.
One DD got engaged after 1 year and other DD after 3 months! They are all still together.
You may not approve, but it is their life.

RufustheFactualReindeer · 03/04/2024 08:56

Testina · 03/04/2024 06:48

I am bemused that “being exclusive” straight away is seen by OP as part of moving quickly. That used to absolutely be the norm!

22 year old dd is dating and going to nandos on the 3rd date was seen as too much commitment by the young man 😳

honestly it seems like boyfriend/girlfriend is the new engaged

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