To ask if anyone else who has a child that plays football experiences so much twattery?

[YaMuvva]

My 7yo DS plays football every week - training on Saturdays followed by a match at the arse crack of dawn every Sunday. 10yo DD used to do the same until last year when she decided to stop.

I’m absolutely supportive of my children’s hobbies but I’m totally fed up of turning up on cold, windy wet morning to have the experience ruined by other adults.

Regular problems I’ve seen for years include:

• Opposing team having much older children playing in matches. Three weekends on the bounce I’ve seen children who are aged 10-11 playing in DS’s Under 7 team. Our team works really above board and the coaches are sticklers for the rule so despite the progress they always move a child up to the correct group and never let them play down. Other coaches seem to want to just win no matter what - some of the kids practically have facial hair
• Screaming parents at the side of the pitch. Especially when they try to overrule the (volunteer) ref or just become overbearing and bossy towards kids. Im very much of the opinion that at this age it’s supposed to be fun and think it can’t be fun to watch your parent bellow instructions from the side of the pitch.
• when parents get overly involved in what the kids are doing. Every week someone marches over at half time to tell their kid what they should have been doing. If you want to do that volunteer to be a coach!
• Dogs being brought to games and being allowed to bark, shit and bother people. I’ve seen dogs piss up the bag of footballs, try and chase the ball and going to nip other dogs or children. What’s the point when you aren’t even walking them they’re just standing there?
• Younger children being allowed to roam free. On Sunday a toddler who can’t have been older than 2 was wandering on the pitch during warm ups and the mum got huffy when a ball hit him. It isn’t daycare!

DS’s coaches are amazing and they have the patience of Saints. They are volunteers who put huge amount of efforts into many teams and I feel angry for them that they have to tolerate this rubbish too.

Is it just me? Or is this just grassroots football? I’ve started to say things but I’m conscious that I don’t want to make enemies!

I wish my son (9) wanted to play cricket or hockey or tennis or something instead. It's not as bad as you describe here but I don't like the football parents, I don't like the roughness, I don't like anything about the atmosphere. I kind of hope my son gets it out of his system soon, although I've been hoping that for years.

I doubt you are right about the age thing though - I've heard parents make the exact same complaint here, and I know the boys on the other team and I know they are playing in the correct group. Some teams just have bigger, stronger more physical players and only play the strongest, and some teams have smaller younger looking players and give everyone a turn. It can be painful to watch.

My BIL was DESPERATE for his son to be a premiership football. He really thought he could just force it to happen.
He would be the one screaming at matches. He also kept changing clubs all the time and lying to the new coach that his son was brilliant, getting on the A team, after a few weeks he’d get pushed to the B/C team and then he would harass the coach (and once was asked to leave the club) and then find a new team and start again. DH went to see him play a few times, said he really wasn’t a natural at all.
DN lost interest and started another sport and it was the same again until he just quit. I mean, just let him play and enjoy it!

Glad you said this, I was starting to get confused as we're in Wales and have never seen anyone checking photos! The local girls teams regularly field teams of mixed U6-U9s.

I can't stand the football parents - they are so negative, yelling criticism at a bunch of 10 year olds who are trying their little hearts out.

I don't go that often thank the Lord but I've seen TWO parent punch ups on the sidelines.

Pathetic.

Re the claims that the age thing isn’t possible, all it takes is dishonesty for opposing teams - I know our coaches have had concerns and raised them in the past.

The parents on DS’s team are mostly great and we have a nice little group that makes a cold day more bearable. But I die inside when I see particular teams on the match sheet as I know they have obnoxious parents (and actually occasionally not very nice coaches)

Because they win. Which seems to be the only goal for some teams!

my DD played in a different team with a shouty coach who, as her skills didn’t improve with age, would sub her for 35 out of 40 minutes and I was elated when she quit.

Yes I LOVE the Gary Lineker clip and may watch it loudly at the next match 😂

Honestly these shouty instructions are insane. I’m basically middle-aged and if I had to play football and someone was shouting ‘get rid of it’ I’d think “Get rid of what now?”. Also you’re right, if coaches teach them to hold onto the ball or take time passing it’s an instruction at odds with everything they’ve learnt.

I love the nonsensical shouting at 6 year olds - shape, drop back, square, cross it etc.

our problem is our coach. aggressive shouting at my daughters team, constantly throughout the match, telling them what to do, where to kick it etc. Wouldnt mind if it was in any way constructive but hes never played football in his life. Im hating Saturdays and cannot wait for the season to be over. Would love to find a new team over the summer break.

“Run it up the wing Lucas!”

”Get in the box Harry! IN THE BOX”

”Hoof it Mason!”

”Chop him down Darius”

Im gonna buy one of those foghorn things to toot every time on of these imbeciles shouts an instruction that makes no sense to a 6yo.

This is the exact reason I was thrilled when my DD quit. Like I say these coaches volunteer their time and it’s so good of them to do that but you get the odd bully boy especially in girls football IMO

My son and his best mate are both 12. My son is 5 ft 8 and built like a brick wall. He looks like he should be babysitting his mate, who is way under 5ft and very slight. In fact, his mate is far better at football than my son and also a lot more mature! It is impossible to tell age at this stage, a lot of boys don’t grown to adult height until mid teens.

I agree about the parent bad behaviour though. I only go once in a blue moon as I’m usually working, and no nothing about football, but the aggression and ott competition makes me wince

I don't get this because in our league, all the way since U7s, every child has a photo registration card which has to be shown to the ref at the start of the match. No cards = no match. It makes me laugh when there are bigger more developed kids and all the parents on the opposing side are shouting 'how old is he?' 'Should he be playing?'

My DS used to play when he was little. I couldn't stand it and used to sit in the car with a book. No way was I freezing my arse off whilst frankly, loads of twats, kept screaming and jumping up and down. It was unbearable. However DS still plays now as a young man and loves it so my distinct lack of engagement didn't do him any harm.

One of the most memorable things about DS's years of football was that his coach, who had taken the job as his son was on the team, went through at least 3 of the mothers of other kids on the team, which meant every team selection seemed to be based on the current status of his love life rather than talent of the boys. It was the most dramatic WhatsApp group I've ever been in.

Our club is OK but the rules I had to sign at the beginning were very very strict - no coaching from the sidelines, children play sport for their enjoyment not yours etc. And teams are evenly matched.

Some of the coaches are awful too. There are some teams I see come up on the fixture list and my heart sinks because I know their attitude and approach to the game is all wrong. They're just kids, let them play football.

We have silent support weekends occasionally in the league my kids play in and the children all love it. Parents and coaches have to shut up and let them play in peace

As I have a DD maybe it will be different if she wants to try football.
I've seen how awful the football culture is and find it so tragic that primary school boys become so fixated on it, even in families that are more MC and not bothered about football.

Oh God, I'm reading through this thread with a sinking heart. My youngest DS loves football and is about to start playing for a league team - thankfully my older two boys both loathed it and opted for other sports, so we've never had to go through all this, but DS3 genuinely loves football so we're having to take a deep breath.

DH took him for the first training session and came back quite depressed at all the football-twat-dad yelling encouragement etc from the sidelines (though fully appreciate that there can be as many twat-mums as twat-dads). I have to say I'm dreading the next few years!

There's definitely something about football as a sport that encourages and attracts the lowest-common-denominator kind of person, which is really sad, as football gives pleasure to so many people and can/should be such a positive experience for those who play and watch.

We have silent support weekends occasionally in the league my kids play in and the children all love it. Parents and coaches have to shut up and let them play in peace

This is a brilliant idea

YANBU its awful, my DS gave up age 11 as he couldn't tolerate how awful some of the kids were (encouraged by the hideous parents and even some coaches). He was called all sorts of names, experienced dangerous tackles and physicality. Hideous. We even had one game where the opposition team had two extra players on the pitch and when DS coach noticed and called them out the other coach just laughed, it is win at all costs for some teams and parents! Its ridiculous the way some parents go on, if your kid is still playing in the second team for some local club at the age of 11 they are not going to be the next David Beckham so give it a rest!
My DD on the other hand has had a slightly better experience, I think girls football has not yet reached those awful competitive levels although it is definitely heading that way sadly.

Football isn’t known as a sport for polite rule following people.

DS18 referees U8s football as a Saturday job. He's been sworn out, shouted at and on a couple of occasions physically threatened by football dads. Fecking under 8s in a lowly league- what on earth is wrong with people?

I think some parents assume that organizing their child's sports activities such as football guarantees a path to becoming a professional. Unfortunately, only .25% of children succeed in reaching that level.
This is what ruins the fun of playing for families who just want to see their children stay healthy and active.

@YaMuvva it's easy to police ages as ALL should have a photo ID team sheet with them every game. All children should be FA registered for this reason. All the coach has to do is ask for copy of team sheet