Breastfeeding 3.5 yo

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I am hoping my 3.5 yo weans off the boob naturally as I don’t want to take it off her as she still wants it. But I feel wrecked. Aibu to think she will wean naturally anytime soon… has anyone been successful in doing this and if so at what age did the child just stop?

She may ,she may not for years. If you dont feel up to it any more, just stop.

I breastfed both of mine until around 5. However from about 2, I started putting limits in place. Are you approaching it in a similar way?
For example, we had set 'milk places', such as in their rooms, or the sofa, but not the armchairs or the kitchen. In the house only, but not out and about. And latterly, at bedtime, but before teeth and sleeping, then not again till morning.

I love this, thank you.🙏🏻

I just can’t bear to stop as she gets such comfort out of it, those wee noises, and instant stop to tears ❤️‍🩹 plus she’s our last! ❤️

I breastfed both DD1 and DD2 until 3.
I am currently still feeding my 19 month old.

In my experience my girls both needed a little nudge to stop. I stopped both of them on their 3rd birthdays. With a few little reminders before hand that when they were 3 they were big girls and didn't need it any more. I found it being their birthday was a good distraction and out of routine enough to break it.
No fuss and no tears at all... it was time for everyone.

Good luck! I have heard of magic babies that self weaned but in my experience, that was not looking likely!

Mine stopped at 3.5 but she had a tummy bug at the time and wasn’t bothered. Then she kept saying it had made her sick so was completely off afterwards!! Happened very quickly.

We also talked a lot about 'this is your milk, but mummy's boobies', and how to make tasty milk, mummy needed to rest in between times (that's what finally ended night feeds for my youngest). Good luck, extended breastfeeding isn't for everyone, but if both you and your nursling want to continue, then I wish you all the best. I think that helping them learn that I am a person too, and that good manners lead to happy milk times, has supported them to understand consent as they have grown up.

I would have and did actually say the exact same about a relative who was feeling her child as big as mine. I get the disgust, but somehow it’s different when in the position personally, it feels so natural. I never thought this would be me! I thought I did great with 7 and 12 months for my other 2.

My daughter stopped at two, I had been back at work working shifts, and so would often miss whole days, being out at 630 before she woke and not getting in until 9/930 after she’d gone to bed. I think that shoved things along a bit. Well done and good luck 💜

I like this! Next time we have a bug I’ll try this 😂

Aw, I love this, so tuned in 🤍🤍🤍

I fed till about 4 1/4 yrs. I instigated the stop and the winding down to the stop, which probably started a couple of years or more beforehand. As per the PP above I had limits. I, for example, stopped doing all bedtimes, and went out some evenings so there wasn’t always milk at the onset of sleep. Sometime later I stopped feeding at all in the night, but we did have a morning feed in bed. As he got older I didn’t feed out and about as free, only in an emergency. I would distract with other things where possible. I think he would have kept going for several more years if I had let him.

I regretted giving up when I did, in some ways, as it was such a good tool for emotional regulation and sensory regulation and I have a child who has issues in these areas due to disability. There was a marked drop in his ability to cope with the world when we stopped, but I couldn’t do it anymore.

My ds weaned by himself at around 3.5, and it happened very suddenly. I had bought some chocolate milkshake and he asked if he could try some of it - I gave him a small cup at bedtime. He was so distracted by it that he didn’t ask to breastfeed, and he asked for it again the next night. By the time the carton had run out he seemed to have completely forgot that he ever breastfed! He has had normal milk in a cup since then. Maybe not the best way to wean but it was painless for us both, maybe you could try distracting your little one with something else in place of breast milk for a while?

For me, it felt completely comfortable and natural up until the age of 2.
Then almost immediately it did not anymore.

I think I limited it to last thing at night for a very short while, then it was on to "Big Boy/Big Girl" milk from a toddler cup. 😉

I am naturally weaning too. Limiting feeds to just after waking up and before bed from about 3 made a big difference. I never had to say no, just ‘later before bed’. She naturally fed less and less as she became distracted with toddler life. She's 3.5 now and we go days between her asking now and as a result, my supply has dwindled so she doesn't get much when she does feed, so the feeds are very short and I think we’re down to our last feeds now.

Settling some gentle boundaries would be my recommendation. It's not saying ‘no’ just deferring to later at a agreed time. I'd say things like ‘wait for before bed, but i’d love a cuddle’ as a way of still having some comforting contact.

Whether you or DD make the first move it will still be natural. You are together in this and it has to work for you both. If you start moving things along and she meets you where you are at I think that has to be the definition of natural! It doesn’t all have to come from the child.

I wouldn't want to to it when there's a chance to they could remember it.

I fed my daughter until her 3rd bday when I said that all the milk had run out now she was 3.
She just accepted it.

She’s 5 now and very cuddly and still loves to stroke my chest when she needs comforting.

I weaned very very gradually, and by 4.5 we were done. Just lots of making the feeds shorter, not having access to mama milk during the day, distraction, disruption of the milk routines (dad doing bedtime etc) and then one day was our last feed. It felt very natural and easy and I'm glad we weaned slowly and at a pace that was comfortable

My eldest daughter stopped at 4 and a half. It was a long, gradual process of reducing the number of times I'd feed her in a day, and at each stage it was gently encouraged by me, though never to a point it upset her. I stopped feeding her in the night when she was 3 because I couldn't take it any more. Then we were just doing at morning wake up and bedtime for a long time. Then we dropped to just bedtime. Then when she was four and a half we stayed with my sister for a week and we were so busy / different routine that she didn't ask. I thought she'd go back to it when we returned home, but no! I think it's perfectly ok to put boundaries in place as part of a gentle move towards weaning, and it's possible to do so without total devastation.

My 8 year old still remembers it (he was 4.5). He remembers cuddling and feeling loved and safe and warm. Those aren't traumatic memories, quite the opposite

My eldest stopped just before his 4th birthday. Ihad also imagined he would self-wean before then, but I had been feeding both him and his sister for a year by that point and I just needed to stop (feeding him - she's still going strong!) I started putting limits in place around about 3.5, and also talking about how one day he'd be all done having mama milk. He had a lot of questions, the least surprising being "Why?" and the most surprising being "Will you still love me even if we don't do mama milk anymore?" 💔
We did a very gradual stop over the course of about 9 months. We day weaned first (I think he was barely having any in the day by that point anyway). Then cut down night feeds until he was just having one feed before going to sleep. Then started shortening those feeds so we did 10 minutes for a week, then 9 minutes, 8, etc etc. When we got to the last week of just feeding for 1 minute, I drew 7 squares on a sheet of paper for him to tick off one each day so he had a visual cue that we were stopping.
It's not for everyone to draw it out like that but we were having a lot of upheaval in our life and the breastfeeding was a real emotional thing for him so I felt like he needed a very gentle, gradual easing off of it, with plenty of time to find other sources of comfort and plenty of time for me to work on other emotional regulation strategies with him.
Good luck! It's so bittersweet.

🙏🏻🤍🙏🏻

That sounds like a 'you' problem. Why do you find it 'disturbing?