Breastfeeding 3.5 yo

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I am hoping my 3.5 yo weans off the boob naturally as I don’t want to take it off her as she still wants it. But I feel wrecked. Aibu to think she will wean naturally anytime soon… has anyone been successful in doing this and if so at what age did the child just stop?

I fed ds until 3y9m. I still fed him to sleep and for naps, but stopped feeding overnight at about 18mo. I just went away for 5 days and when I returned, I explained it was all gone. Other than his initial disappointment, he was fine.

Just to echo others, setting boundaries is important and it can be gently done without causing upset. Kids look to parents for guidance, it’s less pressure for them to follow mums lead rather than putting all the onus on the child.

Good luck 😀.

My 4 year old was still breastfeeding up until around February of last year ( he was 4.5 by then). He just kind of went off it, so don't worry it will happen at some point.

Similar to other posters, we cut down gradually. Not outside first, then only at bed time. Stopped bed time feeds at just over 3. He has always been a terrible sleeper and I was convinced it would be a disaster. We did a sticker chart for a cuddly toy he really wanted, he didn't feed again (or even ask) from the day the sticker chart started. I was amazed.

My daughter naturally stopped at about 3.5. Just slowly tailed off, from 2 ish was only ever bedtime and morning anyway. I didn’t ever force her to stop she just did by herself.

Around 4.5 he stopped but it had been mostly just bedtime or when he was poorly for a good 6 months.

Love your reply about it being something you never thought you'd have done, I was the same. It's so normal when you've just thought ahhh maybe another few months etc 🤣

I decided I wanted to stop when DD was about 2.5 but expected it to be quite a challenge as it was a huge comfort to her. It was a very slow process, reading various books about it etc. I would say setting the earlier boundaries eg. not feeding in the day was harder than the final boundary of stopping altogether. I had already stopped at night a bit after she turned 2 (that was tough) and then we went to just morning and bed, then just bed, then stopped. I did this over about 6 months so she was just 3 when I fully stopped. I honestly don't think she would have done it if her own accord for years. I was a bit emotional when I decided to stop fully but she is nearly 4 and I'm very happy I don't feed her now. I also have a DS I'm breastfeeding now and she likes to "help" him latch and doesn't seem to have any jealousy or mention she wants to breastfeed. In terms of what I said, I never said it was because she was too big, I said my boobs were tired and didn't make much milk anymore (which was essentially true) and did a mix of offering other things and just cuddling and empathising with her that she couldn't BF.

I went down to one daytime feed at around 2 then did before bed and to get back to sleep at night for what felt like a million years.

Stopped the through the night at just before 5 when we finally slept all night 😳 😳😳😳 and before bed a few months later when a tooth fell out so couldn't latch.

I wasn't prepared for it to be so long but equally happy it was on their terms and their decision.

I stopped at 2.5 with my second. I just told her it had dried up and didn't work anymore, she forgot about it pretty quickly.

I just stopped offering but did not decline, it gradually stopped. He was at preschool so it was only morning and before bed so I think that helped.

Thanks so much to everyone who replied, I feel so hopeful now 🤍🤍🤍

I remember this stage very well. I had two on the breast at the same time. I made a big thing about being three and so big now, that got my eldest off, last feed was the night before her third birthday. I then had to feed my youngest covertly because the excuse was milk went away when they turned three. I fed him covertly for another year (largely overnight) and his last feed was the night before he was three. They both largely weaned through the day by two, unless unwell or particularly distressed. I remember thinking there is so much help to get them on the boob but literally nothing to help get them off, I was quite sure I'd be taking them to university with a boob in each of their hands but they adapted really well. I think we had one night of sadness of wanting it but that was it. I'd fed for getting on for five years at that point and neither had slept through a single night so I was ready to stop!

I have just weaned my almost two year old. I was expecting tears and upset but he has just completely accepted that boobie is broken and he's not been remotely bothered. It was far far easier than I expected and whilst it wasn't him giving up himself I feel he must have been somewhat ready to accept it so easily. You could try stopping for a few days and see how they take it, it might be easier than you think.

I fed mine till ages 8 and 6 and we just had plenty of boundaries in place, I said no a fair bit if I didn't want to do it, but I also didn't care what other people thought.

I recommend joining the Facebook group Breastfeeding Older Babies and Beyond for some really great ideas and support in deciding what you want to do. In general, you won't get that here because so many people haven't ever done it and don't understand.

Mine both weaned themselves and it was a really lovely experience which they both look back on fondly. I found it an amazing parenting tool and really missed that aspect although after 11 years of breastfeeding with three years tandem I was also very ready to be finished!

Remember breastfeeding is a reciprocal relationship where you have to be happy to, and it currently sounds like you are totally happy. And that’s ok to make changes. It’s not a case of absolutely go with it to your own detriment or go cold Turkey and let your child learn the hard way. You find you own way between these extreme ends. Like others have said put in some rules, only at home, only at bedtime, only for 3 minutes, any rules that suits you to limit it and stop these feelings you have and get back to it being a positive relationship between you both. Self weaning doesn’t mean you just go a long with anything, you are allowed your own restrictions. My dd weaned around 3.5, with afew restrictions along the way.

I remember a conversation with my good friend & LLL leader - I was asking similar to you about my youngest & she basically said she & the other leaders at her group had no idea because everyone had only weaned a child when pregnant or BF a newborn 🤣

with all of mine they stopped very suddenly a couple of months after the point that I had basically accepted they never would 🤷‍♀️

Restrict where you feed & insist on good manners & it will happen, it's a partnership so it needs to work for both of you, what can you do to improve it for you?

and then they stop & you'll be bereft & the hormones will make you crazed 😂

as she gets such comfort out of it, I think it really helps them get through those tantrum years personally. So I suggest you carry on as long as it feels good for both of you, but absolutely boundaries and communication are your friends here. Both 'not now' and 'not here' are both perfectly reasonable concepts to communicate.

There's nothing wrong with breastfeeding a 3yo also there's nothing wrong with stopping! If you're not enjoying it anymore and want to stop I would, tell her she's a big girl now and all the milk has gone, but she can still have lots of hugs with you but with milk in a big girl cup instead