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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To tell her to get lost?

459 replies

Sportycustard · 01/04/2024 16:34

Just got home to find a note from my neighbour.

"Hi Sporty, just wanted to let you know that we're rehoming a couple of cats in the next week or two. I can see from our upstairs windows that you have some plants in your garden that are poisonous to cats so I will pop round in the next day or so and point them out so you can remove them in good time for our new arrivals"

I've just done a quick Google and it looks like she is referring to a rhododendron that was a gift from a friend who has now passed away and an azaelia that was a 50th birthday gift. Both are established shrubs and mean a lot to me.

AIBU to tell her my garden will be staying as it is?

OP posts:
Icanflyhigh · 01/04/2024 21:58

Cat people are flipping mental at times! I own a boarding cattery, I meet them daily!!!
The ones that want to collect tiddles at 3am as that's when their flight gets in are the worst, and the look of horror on their face when you politely decline and restate your opening hours make my teeth itch!! And they're just the ones who ask to collect at obscure times, we shall not speak of the ones that just turn up when it's convenient to them, regardless of the time.
How dare I have the audacity to have actual opening hours?!?!
Some of them are just CFs!!😂😂

Jasmin1971 · 01/04/2024 21:59

I have 3 azaleas my cats have never been poisoned by them.

AnneElliott · 01/04/2024 22:05

That's bonkers - I have both of those plants in my garden and none of our 4 cats have ever taken any notice of them in any way.

Her cats her problem. If she's so worried she needs to keep them contained to her garden.

LuckySantangelo35 · 01/04/2024 22:06

Wow 100% of posters think YANBU
Unusual!

Noseybookworm · 01/04/2024 22:14

This can't be for real 😳

Lurkingandlearning · 01/04/2024 22:16

She’s going to be very busy. Many cats get hit by cars so she’ll have to put everyone on notice to dispose of their cars before the cats arrive. 😁

Applescruffle · 01/04/2024 22:20

Typical entitled cat owner behaviour tbh.

Mummyto2rugrats · 01/04/2024 22:22

I own cats 1 is a wanderer and the other not so much but I would absolutely never tell a neighbour or in the case of our wanderer the whole estate to take out certain plants absolutely no way! Your garden is your garden if my cat wanders in and does something stupid then that's a me problem not a you problem.

Unfortunately for me my wanderer steals other cats food by sneaking in their cat flaps because there are two interfering biddys that like to feed him on the estate so he feels life is a free for all. But also my argument if you don't want my cat in get a cat flap only triggered by your cat.

DifficultBloodyWoman · 01/04/2024 22:22

I’m a crazy cat lady with two fur babies at the moment.

About 40% of my garden is lavender and I didn’t know it was toxic to cats until I read this thread! My cats are clearly smarter than Batshit Crazy Neighbour’s.

When I got the cats, I did get rid of one houseplant, a lily, because I thought that was too much of a risk. Brushing against the leaves could release pollen on to their fur which would then be licked off and toxic.

However, I also know of someone with lilies planted all around their house and two cats who have never been poisoned. She and one of the cats even walk around the house counting flowers every evening. But still, the cats seem smart enough to know to avoid them.

Badburyrings · 01/04/2024 22:22

TTPD · 01/04/2024 16:42

"Dear neighbour, I will assume this is an April fools."

Yes, this surely is the only answer to this one. Surely..

Talkwhilstyouwalk · 01/04/2024 22:24

I'd tell her that your garden will be staying as it is and I'd also install one of those beeper things to keep them out (so that they don't shit in it, not so that they don't poison themselves).

confuseeedd · 01/04/2024 22:31

Does she think removing one neighbours plants will eliminate them everywhere else? Dick. They will still be in other gardens and there will be alsorts in the countryside/outdoor spaces.

twohotwaterbottles · 01/04/2024 22:33

What a cheek! I'm popping this post on watch OP. Please update if you get a moment. Your garden sounds lovely btw

ToxicChristmas · 01/04/2024 22:33

She would absolutely hate me as I have all those plants and a cat hating rescue lurcher with an incredibly high prey drive (which is why my garden is as cat proofed as I can manage). Luckily this has worked in the back garden. Unfortunately my drive still gets shat on by next doors cat.
I'd have laughed and shut the door. Expecting someone to adapt their garden to accommodate your pet needs is bonkers. It annoys me enough that I have to shovel up cat poo daily - I don't let my dog wander over to theirs for a dump. However I accept that's cats and they roam, but I won't be responsible for a cat in my back garden when I don't want it there and I've spent money making it as inaccessible as possible.

Goinggreymammy · 01/04/2024 22:34

This is bonkers. Cats don't eat plants.

If she is worried about her cat going on some plants that are toxic to them (never heard of this, lived in the countryside with cats and rhododendrons for many years) then she needs to either keep them inside or not get a cat.

WearyAuldWumman · 01/04/2024 22:36

Sportycustard · 01/04/2024 18:43

She's just been round! Seems genuinely shocked that I said I had no intention of letting her in my garden or of changing anything in it. Apparently, she knew I was going to be "that sort of person".

I've reminded her that my garden gate is covered by the neighbour's CCTV in case she thinks about trying to remove anything (other neighbour is a good friend and has an even more cat decimating garden than I do).

Her parting shot was that she'll send me any vets bills! Erm, that's going to be a no as well.

I do have two regular cat visitors - a very sweet three legged tabby and a gorgeous long haired almost black cat who both sun themselves on our patio. Sometimes the long haired one will consent to be stroked by me which I take to be a great honour. Neither has come to grief in our garden. Fortunately both are uninterested in the visitors to our bird feeders.

I will take on board what someone up thread said about lillies though. I have had them in pots in previous years. They do seem to be very bad for cats.

Excuse me. I'm about to lower the tone of the thread.

You should also tell her that you'll charge her for the discomfort of cleaning up any cat sh*te you find in your garden.

lto2019 · 01/04/2024 22:41

TTPD · 01/04/2024 16:42

"Dear neighbour, I will assume this is an April fools."

Read the update and realised it was not a joke by the neighbour.

echt · 01/04/2024 22:41

If it's not been said already I would have thought that a if a cat was to chow down on any plant it would be a houseplant, you know, I'm-bored-so-let's-take this-one-to-pieces-kind-of-way.

The other thing is cats have quite a large territory so the nutjob neighbour would presumably have to see quite a number of neighbours.

Or is this an April Fools?

Iseeaghost · 01/04/2024 22:44

This is insane.

Completely.

This is why I come here too. To read about people like this.

SD1978 · 01/04/2024 22:48

Hi neighbour, good luck with the new arrivals, both plants are highly sentimental to me, they will not be getting removed. Lucky cats are pretty smart and stay away from things that are dangerous to them....I cannot do the cross out thing, but also, why are you assuming your feckin cats can take up residence in my backyard...........

NameChangedAgainn · 01/04/2024 22:54

YANBU. Cats will wander miles, is she going to ask everyone for miles around to get rid of all their toxic plants?!
If she's so worried, she can keep her cats inside or cat proof her garden.

uncomfortablydumb53 · 01/04/2024 22:56

YANBU
How entitled

Nanny0gg · 01/04/2024 22:58

Sportycustard · 01/04/2024 18:43

She's just been round! Seems genuinely shocked that I said I had no intention of letting her in my garden or of changing anything in it. Apparently, she knew I was going to be "that sort of person".

I've reminded her that my garden gate is covered by the neighbour's CCTV in case she thinks about trying to remove anything (other neighbour is a good friend and has an even more cat decimating garden than I do).

Her parting shot was that she'll send me any vets bills! Erm, that's going to be a no as well.

I do have two regular cat visitors - a very sweet three legged tabby and a gorgeous long haired almost black cat who both sun themselves on our patio. Sometimes the long haired one will consent to be stroked by me which I take to be a great honour. Neither has come to grief in our garden. Fortunately both are uninterested in the visitors to our bird feeders.

I will take on board what someone up thread said about lillies though. I have had them in pots in previous years. They do seem to be very bad for cats.

Has this nutcase got any idea of how far cats roam? And how many gardens they visit

She would have no idea (if, heaven forbid) they came to harm, where that was.

She's a fruitcake. And I've had lots of cats

Copperoliverbear · 01/04/2024 23:15

Tell her you will put orange juice around the bottom of the plants and cut and bury some citrus fruits in the ground and even spray the plants with citrus juice, because cats don't like citrus but you will not get rid of them. X

WearyAuldWumman · 01/04/2024 23:21

Copperoliverbear · 01/04/2024 23:15

Tell her you will put orange juice around the bottom of the plants and cut and bury some citrus fruits in the ground and even spray the plants with citrus juice, because cats don't like citrus but you will not get rid of them. X

I'd amend that.

Tell the neighbour to put a barrier of citrus on her side of the boundary.