Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3 4

Original poster

Nanny holidays

88 replies

FrayedAndConfused · 31/03/2024 03:48

So my nanny has 20 days holiday a year excluding Christmas break which is a free holiday. I am away quite a bit (with my son) and as I’m separated from his father my son (5yo) is also away quite a bit at his dads. So these weeks, at least 6-8 a year, are then free holidays for the nanny. I don’t have a problem with that except she always asks for my dates well I’m advance and then I think makes her own holiday plans. She then gives me her holiday dates (which NEVER coincide funnily enough) a month in advance so I end up then having to find another nanny. I’ve tried to talk to her about this but basically I feel she’s manufacturing a way to get double the amount of holiday. I’ve thought about making her come in when my son isn’t here to do nursery duty type activities but I don’t really need them as I have a cleaner and like to do them myself - I only really need her to look after my son. Is it reasonable to put in my contract that I want 4 months notice for her holiday dates? Or do I make her just come in when my son is away so she figures out she can’t make holiday plans for free and does need to actually take holiday when she wants to take holiday. I am a generous employer, pay above market rate, and don’t mind her having time off for free as such but I work long hours sporadically so when I need her I really really need her and don’t have time to find a temporary nanny or frankly want to as having someone my son knows is important, so when she then chooses the most inconvenient and busy times on purpose to take holiday despite having about 12 weeks paid leave anyway It puts me in a really difficult spot. AIBU? Is there a reasonable solution to this?? I have tried talking to her about this but she says to me ‘I don’t want to take holiday that week you guys are away as I don’t need to’. It seems she just wants to take holiday when in fact I really need her.

OP posts:

AutumnNanny · 31/03/2024 14:22

My contracts have always been 50:50 & I have always worked with the parents to choose the least inconvenient time for them when possible. However if I NEED to take holiday for a specific reason, then I expect to be able to do that without a fuss.

for the last few years I have probably ended up with more leave than is in my contract, but not able to plan to go away or anything as they'd expect me to be available and I have also lived in for several weeks at a time, several times, when they have been away (with very little notice) & do some very anti social hours too and had ZERO time off when then they have needed me.

I feel a bit of a mug in a way, but it just sort of evolved. 💁🏻‍♀️

MissHavershamReturns · 31/03/2024 14:26

I don’t think 16 weeks notice of big holidays eg summer is at all unreasonable. Not nanny but my employer does this.

LondonFox · 31/03/2024 15:10

Give her dates when you don't need her and tell her 20 days of hollidays must be in that time but she needs to confirm a month ahead as otherwise you may call her if you need help.
Teachers have fixed hollidays and so can she.

SherbetDips · 31/03/2024 15:12

The way I work it is, I have 20 days holiday. I choose 10 days of my holiday to use as I want! I give a months notice.

my employers are entitled to use the other 10 days to those choosing again giving at least a months notice.

anything else is extra holiday.

ChateauMargaux · 31/03/2024 15:28

It is usual for nannies to choose 10 days and families to choose 10 days during which the nanny will also be on holiday. It is also usual for the employing family to use their own annual leave to cover the nanny's chosen dates.. you could split this between you and your son's father. You can also require your nanny to give you notice of her required holiday.

Once your child is at school, this is especially important as you will most likely only want to take your annual leave during school holidays and this may also need to be written into your contract with your nanny... it has a significant impact on the cost of holidays but that is part of the challenege of nannying for school age children.

Speak to ACAS to undetstand the required steps to alter your nanny's contract to reflect this. Do it formally and give her the option to consider the changes and choose to her hand in her notice if she is not happy with the change.

Quitelikeacatslife · 31/03/2024 15:32

Agree you need to renegotiate contract (and be prepared to lose her) people who work in a school can only take holidays in the school holidays , you would have to specify those dates you will be away , she could only take holiday then. and it would be generous to give 5 days to take freely . If you are away extra to her holidays give her tasks to do or free holiday

NoisySnail · 31/03/2024 16:05

Four months notice for leave would probably be judged unreasonable at an industrial tribunal.
You legally have to give her 20 days plus 8 bank holidays (although 8 days do not have to be taken on bank holidays). If her contract only says 20 days, you are already breaking the law whatever holiday she actually gets.

missmollygreen · 31/03/2024 16:08

TakeOnFlea · 31/03/2024 03:57

Paragraphs would be helpful in any contract you set up.

But no, it's not unreasonable to ask for 4 weeks notice.

OP said 4 months notice

That is unreasonable. The nanny is an employee, not your slave op

NoisySnail · 31/03/2024 16:19

And if you have unreasonable conditions, she will just leave for another job.

You can state at the start of the year these are the weeks you will be away and she has to take her annual leave then. You can't just tell her as you go along - you have to take a weeks annual leave next month. So get organised yourself and do this. You will have to issue an updated contract, make sure you follow the legalities for doing this i.e. paperwork showing consultation with the nanny. Look on ACAS website for more details.

Piglet89 · 31/03/2024 16:30

In our contract we agreed we’d choose 50% of holiday dates and our nanny chooses 50%

as others have pointed out, this is market standard.

Celticliving · 31/03/2024 16:40

I've been a nanny for 25 years.

I choose 2 weeks holiday, the employer chooses 2 weeks holiday. I have only ever allowed 1 employer to stipulate my entire holiday time and NEVER AGAIN.

OP, your nanny was cheeky to change her holiday that she already had booked; but you allowed that to happen.

FWIW, I will NEVER book my 2 weeks in the summer holidays because I know my family have their 2 weeks then and it will work out that I do get more holiday time. It's no different to someone in an office booking holiday which includes a BH in order to get that longer bit of holiday.

They always have extra holiday and I am paid for it; it's their choice to go away.

I work flippin' hard as a nanny and I am entitled to my time off.

Oh and demanding 4 MONTHS notice for her to take holiday is utterly unreasonable.

Princessfluffy · 31/03/2024 17:07

I'd give her set leave weeks for the dates when you don't need a nanny. It sounds like this will be around 9 weeks leave a year? I'm sure plenty of Nannies would be more than happy with this arrangement.

whowhatwerewhy · 31/03/2024 17:12

50 50 is common practice for a nanny and employer. I would set out your future expectations and issue a new contract.
I would also expect her to be In when your away to tidy play room , deep clean toys ect only because she's taking the piss .

LlynTegid · 31/03/2024 17:15

You both seem to have unreasonable expectations. The employment relationship seems to have broken down.

Time for a new nanny with clear and reasonable agreement at the beginning.

NoisySnail · 31/03/2024 17:26

@whowhatwerewhy OP does not want her nanny to do that.

Therealmetherealme · 31/03/2024 17:33

I think it come down to contacts, but when she is not looking after you son, this shouldn't be bonus time off but time for her to complete other child related chores. What about scheduling yearly updates for first aid etc?

Minata · 31/03/2024 17:44

Sorry to jump on this thread with my own question but I'm dealing with something that might be similar. We did not have a formal contract in the beginning about leave and so far my nanny has taken 15 days. Her leave cycle will end at the end of May. She wants to carry over this, as well as take this out of term time. The 15 days taken were of her choice too. She also had 2 additional weeks paid when we were away.

Dh and I don't feel this is fair, we are going to offer her to take 2 days before this leave cycle ends and only carry over 3. Does this sound fair or right?

I am definitely drawing up a contract for the next year as she has taken other liberties that I didn't address because I couldn't find anyone else.

Celticliving · 31/03/2024 17:52

Minata · 31/03/2024 17:44

Dh and I don't feel this is fair, we are going to offer her to take 2 days before this leave cycle ends and only carry over 3. Does this sound fair or right?

I am definitely drawing up a contract for the next year as she has taken other liberties that I didn't address because I couldn't find anyone else.

As you know, your first mistake is having no contract. You don't have a leg to stand on. But by the same token, neither does your nanny.

You can only take your proposal to her and see what she says.

Fwiw, carrying over holidays isn't really a done thing in the nanny world.

Draw up your contract and stipulate that it's 4 weeks holiday; 2 weeks chosen by you and 2 weeks by nanny. If there is any time that you can't allow her to take holiday, make sure those dates are in the contract.

NoisySnail · 31/03/2024 17:55

Legally she needs to have a contract. She could take you to a tribunal and allege you verbally promised so much leave or to carry over, and since there is no contract she could win.
You are breaking the law. Employing someone comes with legal responsibilities.

whowhatwerewhy · 31/03/2024 17:57

@NoisySnail
Yes I do realise op prefers her nanny not to work when she's not needed. But this nanny seems to be taking the piss , so out of principle I would make her work.

NoisySnail · 31/03/2024 17:57

Do NOT just say 4 weeks annual leave. All full time employees are entitled to a minimum of 28 days including bank holidays.

NoisySnail · 31/03/2024 17:58

whowhatwerewhy · 31/03/2024 17:57

@NoisySnail
Yes I do realise op prefers her nanny not to work when she's not needed. But this nanny seems to be taking the piss , so out of principle I would make her work.

Taking revenge does not tend to lead to good relationships.

whowhatwerewhy · 31/03/2024 18:06

@NoisySnail
The relationship seems to have broken down anyway. Nanny books holiday then cancelled when she found out op didn't need her that week , she's taking the piss .
Nothing wrong with sitting down and telling nanny the expectations going forward.
Nanny you chose 10 day's holiday , two months notice ( or whatever suits op ) needed. Op will chose 10 days , again two months notice given . Nanny will be expected to work/ be available to work when op is away . It will be at ops discretion if she has her cleaning the toys or if she says have the time off .

Minata · 31/03/2024 18:12

Definitely realise it was a mistake not formalising any contract. It was meant to be a temporary arrangement and just carried on. It's become a problem as she wants all leave out of term time which leaves us stuck.
Is she allowed to carry over unused days? She now wants to use her 5 unused days again in term time and seems to think that her annual leave will be almost 6 weeks out of term time.

Celticliving · 31/03/2024 18:17

Minata · 31/03/2024 18:12

I choose my 2 weeks in term time. I can't afford to go away on holiday during the school holidays.

If you want to have your 2 weeks in school holidays, that's entirely up to you; but you should allow your nanny to take her two weeks in term time if she needs to.

I've never been able to carry holiday over past the year but you don't have a contract so I don't know where you stand on that.

Flip

1 2 3 4

Swipe left for the next trending thread