To kick my partner out for this?

[CoralHedgehog]

I'm not sure if I'm overreacting or not, I'm very upset at the moment and my head is a mess. I'm 20 and my partner is 21. We live together. I spoke to my partner earlier and admitted to him that I've been struggling recently and that my mental health is bad at the moment and that I've spent a lot of time crying recently. His response was "why are you telling me about it, if your mental health is bad then go and kill yourself or something like that". I got angry at him for saying that and he accused me of massively overreacting. I'm thinking about kicking him over but I'm not sure if I would be overreacting or not. I was really upset before his comment but now I'm even more upset. I just can't get past his response to me, it feels like he doesn't care one bit but he says I'm overreacting about what he said. Also, I don't have any friends so if I kick him out then I won't have anyone else to talk to either.

Would I be unreasonable to kick him out for this? I just can't get past what he said to me but he thinks I'm overreacting. I haven't told him yet that I'm thinking about kicking out because I don't know if I'm overreacting or not, I also won't have anyone else if I kick him out because I don't have any friends. My mental health feels worse now than it did before I admitted to him earlier that I'm struggling, I also feel more upset now than I did beforehand as well.

Have you spoken to anyone else about your MH? Are you receiving any help? If not that's something you need to look into. We all have to start somewhere. GP? MH charities like young minds could be somewhere to look for advice / info.

If you have low self esteem it may be why you think you are overreacting. You aren't. What he said to you was awful. You do not have to put up with this. And you can change things for the better. Get some sleep if you can. This might be a catalyst for better things OP if you are able to see it like that.

Kindly OP -

As you refer to him as your partner I'm guessing you've been together a while which makes you young when you got together

He sounds absolutely horrible. He says nasty things, you have no friends he has you doubting yourself.

This is emotional abuse OP. Please, please, seek help.

Holy shit, that’s absolutely disgusting.
I’m really sorry he’s spoken to you like that - as a (male) sufferer of mental health issues the last thing you need is a partner saying things like that.

Kick him out, then find someone worth your time. There’s not many times my jaw drops on here, but reading what he said to you made it happen!

Wow what an incredibly awful thing to say to you! In packing him a bag as we speak. You don't need someone like that in your life!

You’re being unreasonable by even thinking you’re being unreasonable.

That was a horrible thing for him to say to you. I know it’s hard to imagine but you will be so much better off without him.

Kick him out tomorrow and try to get some sleep tonight. If you haven't already, talk to your GP about some MH support, or via your employer if that's part of your package there. You're worth far more than than this.

Friendship wise, as others have said, try to get involved with things locally. I know it's hard, but hopefully you'll find some like-minded people. And be reassured - the older you get, the less you care what people think - and that definitely makes life easier.

Good luck and be strong xx

Op he sounds very toxic. Even if that's the only thing he's done, that's utterly unacceptable and you're perfectly within your grounds to kick him out.

Your partner is meant to love, care for and support you and he's kicked you while you're down.

I know from experience that relationships like that can be really isolating and make you feel very lonely. They eat away at your confidence and mental health until you feel you can't cope without that person but actually they're making it worse because you can't rely on them.

I would kick him out, get yourself to the gp for some proper support. Your mental health is just as important as your physical health and you deserve for it to be looked after with the same value.

Then I'd try to join some hobbies or clubs, could be something you've always wanted to try or maybe something you used to do that you want to get back into. It may be difficult for a while, break ups always are but there's nothing here that you can't rebuild better and stronger. A partner should bring more to your life than they take. Not sit in your house telling you awful things like that. I'm sorry he's been such an abusive knob.

Statistically you hopefully have a good 60 years ahead of you. Don't waste a day of that on a man who tells you to go kill yourself.
Get rid of the asshole and spend some time focusing on things that make you happy. Any hobbies you have or might start doing? The more you are out there with nice people who don't talk to you like the asshole soon to be ex boyfriend the more you will make friends.
You deserve so much better than him.

OP, KICK HIM OUT. NO doubt about it whatsoever.

i would hazard a guess that he is probably the reason you are feeling so bad just now. No normal person responds like he has done to you when you’ve told him how you are feeling.

Kick him out and you’ll likely feel your MH start to improve immediately.

what an absolute jerk, a loving partner would have sat you down and talked things through supportively, helping make plans to recover. Kick him out and go see a councillor to talk things through. Start to meet a wide range of people - join a gym, knitting club or a walking group.

Absolutely kick him out, tomorrow morning. Once he's gone, try calling Samaritans to talk to them about your mental health struggles. They're there to listen: 116 123

Contact Us | Samaritans

What a foul thing to say to you! Get some sleep, help him pack his bags in the morning.

Focus on getting him out in the morning . Then focus on you, look at getting counselling/support.

When you are in a better place you can look at friends /dating.

Absolutely get him out of your life. He sounds very toxic. This is such a horrible thing to say to you, unthinkable from the person, who is supposed to love and cherish you.

If anyone of us, strangers on social media, talked to you or sent you a message like that, you'd be horrified, upset, think we were nasty people and block us.

We don't know you, he on the other hand is supposed to CARE about you... so why are you accepting this from someone meant to care for you, when you absolutely wouldn't accept it from total strangers?!

Boot him, tonight, or first thing in the morning, but boot him. You do not need him in your life, he is not helping!

You will find your mental health improves massively once this useless sack of potatoes is out of your life.

I'd tell him to leave today.

I would hope that he is 'just' very immature, and in a few years' time, once he's grown up, he will look back on this open-mouthed and realise what an absolute piece of work he has been.

Then again, he may well not, and this might be as mature as he ever gets, with him simply incapable of ever being a basically decent human.

Either way, you deserve so much better than him, and you are NOT his therapy, even if he does make that journey and come out the other side, a proper adult, feeling mortified and fully contrite at what he said to you.

Most definitely send him packing (in both senses of the phrase) later this morning and be kind to yourself. Don't rush, and be patient until somebody who IS worthy of you comes along. You are still young and, as PP said, you hopefully have 60 or more years ahead of you to make a lifetime with the right person.

You find it difficult to make friends because, gently, sometimes we just do - especially those of us who are naturally introverted. It can be a very positive thing, as it just means that you have high standards and are unwilling to settle for second-best. And it is highly likely that, once you do find genuine friends, even if only a small number of them, you will end up amazing, close pals who will stay together for a very long time, maybe forever.

There's every chance that they too have been struggling for some time to make friends, and fearing that they never will - and you will all, in equal measure, feel so happy to have finally crossed each others' paths and found one another, in it for the long haul together!

It's a cliche, but it's nevertheless true, especially for you right now: once you have said a firm goodbye to Mr No-Empathy-Baby, today really is the first day of the rest of your life - so make the very best of it and don't let any immature idiot treat you as his doormat.

I have told him to leave this morning. At first he kicked off and threatened to burn the house down but now he's upstairs packing his things. Hopefully he just leaves after his packing and doesn't kick off like earlier.

Put all your energy into making friends, kick him out, and don't ever rely so much on a man again. If you can find a boyfriend, you can find a friend. They are much easier to find.

Better to be on your own than with the wrong person.
In fact, I think the latter can be even lonelier.

He is still packing now. He's taking forever, I just want him gone and out of my house.

Police. Now.

For the love of God, don't take him back. Have a backup plan for if he refuses to leave. He starts getting aggressive again? police. He start begging and crying and threatening suicide? police.

You're doing amazing op!! Stay strong - you've got this!!

He's taking his time hoping you'll change your mind - DON'T!
Don't help him pack, don't engage in conversation. What he said was diabolical and there's no excuse for being a cunt

You're going to have a much better life without him. Don't be frightened of the unknown, you have brighter days to come xx

You need to report this to the police.