To want to tell the group of men ‘helping’ me reverse my car..

[Eastie77Returns]

..to just f**k off?

Took my car to the car wash. It is located off a main road and you have to reverse and turn the car completely round in order to exit. I watched several male drivers get their car washed and exit without any of the car wash employees commenting.

When it was my turn to leave, 4 employees (all men) surrounded my car and proceeded to instruct me on how to reverse and exit. This included banging on the roof of the car and barking at me to turn the wheel more this or that way, now straighten etc. I turned of my engine and politely said I’ve been driving for over 20 years, am perfectly capable of reversing the car and their shouting and banging on my car was unnecessary. Inside I wanted to scream at them to get to fuck.

Why do men feel the need to do this? And no they were not just being helpful. It’s sexist BS because none of them would have dared to behave this way to a male driver.

And the biggest irony of course is that men are much more likely to crash a car than women. I read a stat for crash data collected in 2022: male drivers were in 21,329 fatal crashes as opposed to 6,049 accidents where a female was driving.

To reiterate, these men didn’t start ‘helping’ because I was reversing badly. I even started the car when then approached and began issuing instructions.

I am now a professional driver, but before when I wasn’t quite as responsible I had it happen. Said I wouldn’t get in the way if I were you, reversed very quickly and accurately then sped off. They didn’t count on that.

Once reversed up a country lane, oncoming man congratulated me by saying ‘wow, you drive like a man’. Really.

Some men are bellends.

PP has been slated, but I don't think this is something that happens generally anymore either. I'm guessing, at a car wash, that the men weren't British, possibly from very different culture?

You could have said what you wanted to them, if it would have helped you, but what you did was fine.

I’ve had this a few times. I always roll down the window and say “it’s ok mate, I’ve been driving for over 30 years, I know how to reverse thanks.”

Their ego can’t handle it but fuck ‘em. Patronising wankers need to learn.

I used to drive a big long wheel base van. The number of times that men (always men), felt the need to compliment me on my ability to park a car / van was ridiculous. As OP says, they wouldn’t have commented on a man’s parking like this I’m sure.

I was reversing our caravan on a campsite, I had an audience of men. One came up to me to congratulate me. Doubt he would of another man. I ignored him.

My ex fil used to stand behind my car to guide me out of their driveway. Funnily enough he never did it when his son was driving

I quite often had the urge to just reverse straight into him but obviously just did a polite wave of thanks instead.

I had a security guard at work stop right next to my car and watch me as I reversed into a bay. Arsehole shook his head and laughed because I was right on the line on one side… because I’d been busy making sure I didn’t hit him and he completely put me off. I was so frustrated as I’m pretty good at parking and will attempt much tighter spaces than DH will. This was an empty part of the car park so there was no need to try and help me at all, not that he did. Funnily enough he didn’t do the same to the bloke that pulled up next to me. Knob.

This would be me. I was actually trying find the one where a guy taps on the window and she roars like a lion 😂

I've always asked and found men very helpful...those ugly massive black funeral 4x4s make it hard for me to see around them in my tiny car and I always ask if help if one parks next to me. Ive always been grateful for their help. No one offered without me asking though

God this is annoying - I've had this before. One bloke trying to instruct me how to get through a small gap and then was annoyed when I didn't thank him! I didn't ask for help and his shouting wasn't actually helpful!

I really hate this. FIL loves to do it, stands in the blind spot every single time. At least he does it equally to me and DH though.

We were having some work done on our house & our car was parked on the road to be out of the way. A delivery was coming & so I needed to put the car on the drive.

Two of the builders attempted to guide me in to MY OWN DRIVEWAY! The driveway I reverse our car onto every time I come home.

Patronising twats, no way would they have done that to DH.

I had a man almost sprint across a forecourt recently offering to help me put air in the tyres. I was not having any difficulty doing so nor do I think I was giving any indication I was finding it difficult. I refused his first offer politely. The second one I was a little teaser. When he tried to insist a third time I did have to snap at him really to leave me alone.

He was most taken aback. I saw him looking quite grumpy as he got back to his car and his female companion. Maybe he was trying to show off to her.

I live on a really steep hill. It's about 15 percent at the top and crests on a blind hill to a t junction so you have to have good clutch control.

The other day a young woman was really struggling and kept rolling back causing traffic to back up. A bloke made her get out of the car, jumped in and made the turn for her. Poor girl was almost in tears. There is no way they'd have done that if she was a guy.

NOTHING, and I mean NOTHING enrages me more than random men who try to 'help' like this when I'm driving

I'm usually a pretty laid back person, but this sends me incendiary

YNBU

Have you seen how many posts there are on here from women drivers moaning about not being able to do the simplest things whilst driving, and hogging the middle lanes on motorways? It’s embarassing. So I’m not surprised

She'd probably sent him to help

I had the opposite at a petrol station when the man in front of me went to drive off without screwing his petrol cap back on so it was dangling and banging against the side of his car.

I rushed to tell him as he was pulling away and forgot the word for it in my haste so sort of pointed and said 'the petrol thingy needs screwing back on"

And he sneered

And in a high pitched voice went "ooh the thingy isn't on is it not?"

Wanker.

Objectively if you were reversing out onto a busy road then someone spotting for traffic and waving you out when it’s safe would be ideal.

But it doesn’t sound like that’s what’s happening.

Reminds me of my FIL asking if I was driving my SUV - it was so big, you know, with me being a woman. I have towed horses (I had to do the extra test at the time), driven large vans/horse boxes. I am not bothered about a bloody SUV and am a damn site better at parking than my DH who relies on cameras and automatic parking.

And can I add - I had an ex who would always point and tell me where to park every time we pulled into a carpark

”Just park it there look”

Used to absolutely infuriate me! Like without him I just drove round and round totally unable to commit to a space!

Ahhh this would wind me up but just for perspective....at our local car washes (thinking of 3 of them in our area) the men who work there do this with nearly every car that they wash! Male or female.

My DM always helps DF reverse, by standing behind the car. So useful.

My over the road neighbour "helped" me reverse off my own drive when he moved in. Like I'd never tried it in all the time I've lived here.

Well done OP for a very measured response. I'm not sure I would've been as self contained!