Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think you actually *can* be a bit...

110 replies

gringlewalden · 29/03/2024 10:47

Autistic
OCD
ADHD

and a whole load of others?

I know people will often (angrily) declare that you can't be 'a bit' autistic, OCD etc, they're very serious diagnoses, you either are or you aren't etc etc.

However

The diagnostic criteria are made up of lists of indicators. You fulfil a certain number of these, you get the diagnosis.

So if the diagnosis is based on fulfilling, say, 25 of the criteria, and you fulfil 20, would it not be fair enough to say you are 'more' autistic that someone who fulfils 5?

Is it not the nature of all spectrums, that everyone must fall somewhere on them?**

OP posts:
Changeandagoodrest · 29/03/2024 18:37

My eyesight isn't perfect, I'm not a little bit blind. I introduced the alcoholic example earlier. In the two examples you gave they're both alcoholics- it's about your dependence on alcohol not how functioning you are or how much alcohol you drink or how often, it's that you can't stop or you need it and rely on it. It's like pregnancy- someone who's 30 weeks isn't a bit more pregnant than someone 6 weeks in. They're further along, but pregnancy is a binary state. The fact that there's what's called a spectrum with ASD confuses the issue I think.

EmotionalSupportAutie · 29/03/2024 19:29

gringlewalden · 29/03/2024 11:17

I find it interesting that people get so wound up about this issue.

If I had a very severely autistic child, non-verbal etc, then yes, I would be very annoyed by NT people saying they're 'a bit autistic'

However, I'd also be annoyed about people with 'an official diagnosis' but yet not particularly severely affected (e.g didn't even realise till they were 40) going on about their difficulties and generally claiming to be on the same bus, just because they had their 'official' diagnosis.

I'm done. This is why Autism Warrior Momsâ„¢ are dangerous to the ND community as well. Of course I don't present like somebody's 8 year old son with high support needs. That's because I'm a 45 year old adult female with low support needs. This week my 'mild autism' got a bit spicy and was incredibly disabling to the point this is the first day in 6 that I've been able to leave the house, wash my face and get dressed.
If you don't have lived experience, stay in your lane and stop shouting over those that do.
I'm using support needs not functioning levels as they just measure how well I am able to appear NT on any given day.

gringlewalden · 29/03/2024 19:37

Changeandagoodrest · 29/03/2024 18:37

My eyesight isn't perfect, I'm not a little bit blind. I introduced the alcoholic example earlier. In the two examples you gave they're both alcoholics- it's about your dependence on alcohol not how functioning you are or how much alcohol you drink or how often, it's that you can't stop or you need it and rely on it. It's like pregnancy- someone who's 30 weeks isn't a bit more pregnant than someone 6 weeks in. They're further along, but pregnancy is a binary state. The fact that there's what's called a spectrum with ASD confuses the issue I think.

But people will routinely say 'I'm a bit blind' to mean 'my eyesight is poor'

Most people understand the nuance of speech and language enough to deduce what they mean.

I'm not here to get into the ins and outs of how hard life is with a range of different disorders. The point is, many, many official diagnoses are reached on the basis of a threshold:

Once iron levels in the blood dip to a certain level, you're anaemic.

Once your eyesight is limited to a specific standard, you're registered blind.

Once you fulfil a number of indicators as outlined in DSM5, you have OCD.

But for anything with a threshold, there will be people who are approaching it, but don't quite reach the level for the diagnosis.

If someone says 'I'm a bit anaemic' I think we can manage to understand they mean 'the iron levels in my blood are a little low'

In the same way, if someone says 'I'm a bit autistic', I think we can have the language skills to understand they mean 'I meet some of the diagnostic criteria for autistic spectrum disorder'.

OP posts:
Caluse · 29/03/2024 20:02

OP why aren't you listening to the autistic voices here telling you that you've got this wrong?

To think you actually *can* be a bit...
justaboutdonenow · 29/03/2024 20:32

gringlewalden · 29/03/2024 19:37

But people will routinely say 'I'm a bit blind' to mean 'my eyesight is poor'

Most people understand the nuance of speech and language enough to deduce what they mean.

I'm not here to get into the ins and outs of how hard life is with a range of different disorders. The point is, many, many official diagnoses are reached on the basis of a threshold:

Once iron levels in the blood dip to a certain level, you're anaemic.

Once your eyesight is limited to a specific standard, you're registered blind.

Once you fulfil a number of indicators as outlined in DSM5, you have OCD.

But for anything with a threshold, there will be people who are approaching it, but don't quite reach the level for the diagnosis.

If someone says 'I'm a bit anaemic' I think we can manage to understand they mean 'the iron levels in my blood are a little low'

In the same way, if someone says 'I'm a bit autistic', I think we can have the language skills to understand they mean 'I meet some of the diagnostic criteria for autistic spectrum disorder'.

I think the fact that multiple actually autistic people are disagreeing with pretty much everything you have posted thusfar speaks volumes.

Just stop digging that hole.

EmotionalSupportAutie · 29/03/2024 22:00

gringlewalden · 29/03/2024 19:37

But people will routinely say 'I'm a bit blind' to mean 'my eyesight is poor'

Most people understand the nuance of speech and language enough to deduce what they mean.

I'm not here to get into the ins and outs of how hard life is with a range of different disorders. The point is, many, many official diagnoses are reached on the basis of a threshold:

Once iron levels in the blood dip to a certain level, you're anaemic.

Once your eyesight is limited to a specific standard, you're registered blind.

Once you fulfil a number of indicators as outlined in DSM5, you have OCD.

But for anything with a threshold, there will be people who are approaching it, but don't quite reach the level for the diagnosis.

If someone says 'I'm a bit anaemic' I think we can manage to understand they mean 'the iron levels in my blood are a little low'

In the same way, if someone says 'I'm a bit autistic', I think we can have the language skills to understand they mean 'I meet some of the diagnostic criteria for autistic spectrum disorder'.

And, as autistic humans we will take them at face value, due to being literal beings. Meaning we will assume them to actually be partially sighted. Because even though we don't present the same as next doors cats 8 year old non speaking high support needs owner, we are, after all that, still autistic!!!
My child asked me to 'put the torch on me' meaning shine a light on me. I only found out that's what she meant after I physically placed a torch onto her lap.
Tbh all this thread has done is made me fucking glad I don't 'suffer from' neurotypicalness. Must be exhausting not taking life and people at face value and always looking for that hidden meaning.z

EmotionalSupportAutie · 29/03/2024 22:04

@gringlewalden final time asking - are you NT, ND or just AH (arsehole)

MrsO3 · 29/03/2024 22:15

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

AllPrincessAnneshorses · 29/03/2024 22:24

maudelovesharold · 29/03/2024 11:33

Genuine question - are there people who wouldn’t be bothered by the above examples? I know I would be. In my mind’s eye, I’m already reaching for the upside down book!

I'd certainly notice but I wouldn't be upset or bothered.

AntonFeckoff · 29/03/2024 23:05

OkPedro · 29/03/2024 16:10

I remember being like this as a child. Grew up in a chaotic home, dysfunction and abuse. I had rituals.. I had to say a prayer that I kept under my pillow at night. It had to be said in a certain way and if there was trouble in my house that night it must have been because I said the prayer wrong. Also had to count squares on the way home from school if I didn't I felt someone would die usually my Mam. I don't do these things as an adult but it's so similar to OCD. Have you ever been told how or why you developed OCD?

I'm sorry that you had those experiences. My childhood was similar, but I didn't develop the OCD until a traumatic event in my early teens and subsequent breakdown. Every time I thought of the traumatic event, I would feel 'unclean' and have to perform a ritual while not thinking about the event in order to become 'clean' again. It then progressed to intrusive thoughts about people dying, so I'd have to perform a ritual while not thinking about people dying in order for them not to die. It's very difficult not to think about something once you've thought about it. I think there was also probably a genetic predisposition as four family members across three generations on my mother's side had/have it.

It's awful. And so silly, as if life and death are in my hands. Of course I know they're not, it's just my brain doing what it does. If only I had those kinds of magical powers.

Why do you think yours stopped?

New posts on this thread. Refresh page