To think you actually *can* be a bit...

[gringlewalden]

Autistic
OCD
ADHD

and a whole load of others?

I know people will often (angrily) declare that you can't be 'a bit' autistic, OCD etc, they're very serious diagnoses, you either are or you aren't etc etc.

However

The diagnostic criteria are made up of lists of indicators. You fulfil a certain number of these, you get the diagnosis.

So if the diagnosis is based on fulfilling, say, 25 of the criteria, and you fulfil 20, would it not be fair enough to say you are 'more' autistic that someone who fulfils 5?

Is it not the nature of all spectrums, that everyone must fall somewhere on them?**

Different people will have different challenges. Surely that’s not an impossible concept??

This is how my OCD presents:

If I don't do X ritual, someone I love will die.

I do these rituals constantly throughout the day. It's worse when I'm stressed, or somebody is unwell. It's not 'uncomfortable', it's extremely distressing. I can get stuck in an infinite loop of not doing the ritual 'correctly' so I have to keep doing it over and over or someone will die. However, having suffered for over 20 years, I've become very good at hiding it when I'm around other people.

To say, oh, I'm a bit OCD because it would bother me if a book was upside down is quite irritating. An actual OCD version of this would be, for example, having to turn all the books upside down and then all of the books the right way up again otherwise something bad will happen. Do you not see the difference?

You are not unreasonable, but you will get a flaming here.

My husband has OCD. It’s well controlled and typically it just means he checks the door locks carefully and repeatedly. This does not affect his life very much (though it does affect the longevity of our doors a bit). When he’s stressed and under pressure, it flares up so he’ll check the gas, stove, oven etc repeatedly, and sometimes leave the house, turn around and go check the same things again. That affect our lives a bit more. So I’d say he has mild OCD and would strongly object to anyone forbidding me to use that language. He clearly has OCD. It’s clearly not as bad as in someone who can’t leave the house because germs.

On the other had, some people when they say “I’m a little OCD” mean “I like my salad just so”, and this is likely what the posters are who say it’s a debilitating illness and you can’t be a little OCD mean this.

Similarly, there are autistic individuals who are brilliant scientists, travelling the world, and leaders in their disciplines, and there are autistic individuals who will never be toilet trained. There need to be words to describe this difference which will not cause the “either you have it or not” brigade to explode.

We can all have many traits in common with folk diagnosed with autism.

The key is, to warrant diagnosis the traits have to be severe enough as to cause impairment, and they have to cover a triad of areas.

I have seen on here so many times that when someone is acting like an arsehole, a poster comes along and says 'are they autistic?'

OP, do you mean this sort of thing? That person is selfish, they must be a bit autistic?

That person spends hours in the shed disassembling machinery and ignoring their kids - they must be a bit autistic.

That's what your post sounds like to me. What would be the benefit of proclaiming yourself or someone else 'a bit autistic' anyway? Just say 'oh I like to walk the same way to work every day and only eat out of a specific bowl because that's my personal preference'. Therefore not minimising or offending others with actual lived experience.

You either meet the criteria or you don't, so as many have said, no, you can't be "a bit" whatever.
You having sensory issues doesn't make you a bit autistic, it means you have sensory issues. My sensory issues amongst a plethora of other traits make me autistic.
Yes there are varying levels of severity, but those with less "severe" OCD for example, aren't a bit OCD, they have OCD which is perhaps more easily controlled or doesn't take over their life as much.
Sad that this need to be explained, really. Not being able to stand your pictures not hanging straight makes you particular about it, not a tad OCD.

It's a bit like ... having a cold. You either have a cold, or you don't. If you have a bit of a cold, then you have a cold.

Similarly, there are autistic individuals who are brilliant scientists, travelling the world, and leaders in their disciplines, and there are autistic individuals who will never be toilet trained. There need to be words to describe this difference which will not cause the “either you have it or not” brigade to explode.

There are words to describe the difference - high needs, low support, global delays, additional learning disabilities. But autism in itself is just that. The ‘need’ to define autism as a scale from bad to ‘not that bad’ comes from a severe lack of understanding of what the disability is, how it can fluctuate in support needs over the years and people absolutely determined to see children and adults with adequate speech and academic abilities as ‘not that autistic’.

Its not your opening point at all.

Your opening point was that people who dont meet the threshold for diagnosis could describe themselves as a little bit autistic/asd/addhd

You are now arguing that those who have met the threshold might vary in severity or variety of traits. (With the minimum threshold of limiting and impairing everyday function) Which is whats meant by the specrtum.

The debate about severity of autism for those ON the spectrum is endless and full of misunderstandings between people desperate for support. Id rathger focus on support than watch desperate people compete.

It's not as simple as getting 50 autism points on a scale to earn your autism badge.

The DSM threshold for an autism diagnosis is to have 'persistent deficits' in at least three area of social communication, and at least two of 4 defined types of restrictive or repetitive behaviour. There's obviously a lot of subjectivity in assessment and diagnosis, but there's descriptions and guidance that allows clinicians to assess whether the whole picture is of a person whose brain appears to function in the neurodivergent pattern we (currently) call autism.

Nobody is arguing, OP, that people can't have autistic traits. But to call this being 'a bit autistic' is offensive because it ignores that the smorgasbord of difficulties that constitute ACTUALLY being autistic are very different from having some social anxiety / sensory sensitivities / rigid ways of doing things etc.

I think there's a huge difference between having some traits that are shared with a disorder of some kind and having to live with a disorder so severely that it requires a diagnosis.

Everyone has quirks, not everyone has mild autism.

Your opening point was that people who dont meet the threshold for diagnosis could describe themselves as a little bit autistic/asd/addhd

Yes and I disagree with that. Personality traits that resemble autism are not autism. As I understand it, autism is a debilitating problem with filtering out stimuli.

I know someone with mild autism who struggles to work in our office environment because 'it's like it was set up to make things difficult for autistic people'. It's open plan, so a lot of noise and movement. It has TV screens perpetually showing videos. It's all clashing colours. Even the lockers have numbers in different sizes, colours and positions. They meant it to be fun and stimulating for neurotypical people, but for autistic people, apparently, it's almost unbearable.

My nephew is also autistic, he doesn't use words, he communicates in other ways and he lives in a special home because he can't live independently. He has everything done for him and spends his life doing the activities he likes while his food and shelter is provided for him.

You would say his life is harder. I think it's arguably much easier, if you are going down that comparison route. You would say we are at different ends of a spectrum. I would say we have different challenges and support needs. You would compare us. I do not. We are both autistic, we both have challenges, we both have support needs.

I agree with you. I had mild OCD. Then I did treatment and it got a lot better, but I still occasionally have symptoms. A friend has OCD that's far more debilitating. At what point do you say you have OCD?

Its not a black and white thing. But it is annoying when people who just like things tidy say that.

There's probably some truth in that OP.

The older I get, the less certain I am that I'm as neurotypical as I thought I was when I was younger... I'm DEFINITELY not enough of anything to seek any sort of diagnosis though!

You can have degrees even within a registered disability. Dh is registered blind but has enough sight in one eye to read (with the book/screen whatever right up against his eye), see TV - not very clearly, granted, and he has to stand right in front of it, but still…, work, navigate his way around independently (the dark is a bit of a problem, has had several mishaps), and considers himself lucky compared to a completely blind person.

i guess people want to say their dc is severely autistic
but people dont like the phrase mildly autistic.

I think most people have autistic tendencies or traits yes. Mum of an autistic DS and Nurse

my daughter 10 recently was diagnosed with autism which shocked me because I would not have thought she was.
it isn’t only about the 1 assessment and point scoring.
they wouldn’t give me her ADOS score at all so I will never know it.
they explained that the ADOS is just one part of the assessment and even if you scored 1 or 2 points below but the other 2 parts indicated then you would still get diagnosed.
I would guess in terms of daughter is they did still do levels she would be class as pretty far down
but they were trying to explain to me that it doesn’t matter where you are ok the spectrum and they won’t tell you
I found it hard to accept that they couldn’t tell me but over time and researched and got a slightly better understanding and now I realise how uneducated I was on autism and can’t judge others who are uneducated about it.

I have OCD which (fortunately) I manage quite well at the moment. However there have been multiple times in my life when it's been absolutely crippling and debilitating. During each of those times I've attended both CBT and counselling to help me develop tools to overcome it.
Each time I've attended CBT or counselling, one of the first things the therapist has done is spent the first session explaining to me (and showing me surveys and research etc) that actually nearly everyone at some point has obsessions, compulsions and intrusive thoughts but those with OCD often attach meanings to them or react to them differently. It really helped me to understand my OCD and to help me manage it.

However, I'd also be annoyed about people with 'an official diagnosis' but yet not particularly severely affected (e.g didn't even realise till they were 40) going on about their difficulties and generally claiming to be on the same bus, just because they had their 'official' diagnosis.

How do you know those who receive a late diagnosis are 'not particularly affected'?

Maybe read up about the struggles of being ND before it was commonly diagnosed- the masking, abuse, failing at school, mental health issues, unhealthy coping mechanisms, unemployment, self harm, suicides etc, before trivialising our experiences.

Thanks for that.. it's very interesting

I remember being like this as a child. Grew up in a chaotic home, dysfunction and abuse. I had rituals.. I had to say a prayer that I kept under my pillow at night. It had to be said in a certain way and if there was trouble in my house that night it must have been because I said the prayer wrong. Also had to count squares on the way home from school if I didn't I felt someone would die usually my Mam. I don't do these things as an adult but it's so similar to OCD. Have you ever been told how or why you developed OCD?

Threads like these are stupid because 80% of the population doesn’t understand what a spectrum actually is.

Moreover, it’s always NTs that start these and the intention is be goady / trolly. Go on and start a thread saying we’re all a bit schizophrenic or we’re all a bit bipolar or we’re all a bit fibromyalgia. See where it gets you. 🙄

I have OCD. It's never mentioned to me that people think they have a bit of OCD for anything that actually IS OCD and I can't just want something to be clean without the assumption it's due to my OCD and not simply just a preference of mine

It irritates the hell out of me that people will try to glamourise and identify into something that if you understood it fully, you'd never choose to suffer from

Sure Karen, (not their real name) you notice if an object is slightly moved... but that still doesn't mean you have OCD. And I have no interest in trading as funny stories what you do bc you think you have a "little bit of OCD"

There's so much misinformation out there, I didn't know I had it till it was so severe it was destroying my life and loved ones lives ... bc I used to think it was all about order and cleanliness once too

So I just simmer internally at the bs people wanna share as proof of "being a bit ocd"