To turn downstairs room into a bedroom for 1 child

[Alreadyinmypjs]

Name changed in case this is outing

We live in a 3 bed house and have 3 children, ds(13), dd1(11) and dd2(7). All bedrooms are a good size and the girls share. This has worked well so far, everyone happy. However dd1 would really love her own room. She's at an age where she just wants more privacy than her sister gives her. They are very close and she's so good with her but she always been content in her own company and now actively craves alone time

Their current room isn't able to be divided, its long but not very deep and the only way of splitting it would mean one person wouldn't have a window. I know there are set ups with bunk beds you can do to split a room but they don't want bunk beds. Ds's room can't be split but we do have a playroom downstairs that's a great size. I did suggest us taking that and give dd1 our room but we have an en suite so hubby doesn't want to do that. Ds is happy to have that as his room but this makes me nervy for some reason, having him on a different floor to us. Is that ridiculous? I think my worry is, should someone break in, it would be him they disturb.

So what do you think, would you be comfortable with this?

We did just that. Turned 3rd reception room into a bedroom for our eldest.

The issues you raised OP didn't occur to us for an instant.

It all works perfectly.

I'm looking at moving and have 3 children and me, it's unlikely I'll be able to afford a 4 bed so I'm looking at 3 beds with a separate dining and living room so one can be used as a bedroom. I was going to have that room though and let kids have upstairs as I would feel better that way, I thought about if someone got into the house I wouldn't like the idea of a child being on the ground floor.

Would it work that you and DH took the downstairs room?

Seems a bit mental that anyone would suggest this is unreasonable. The dining room is my eldest sons room. All is fine.

I had a downstairs room at the opposite end of the house from my parents from age 9. I was the only one on the ground floor, closest other person at night was my 12 year old sister up a flight of stairs next to me, parents were up a different flight of stairs at the other end of the house. It was fine.

Really don't see the issue. We live in a bungalow with a loft conversion, as do many of our neighbours. Our kids have been downstairs and us upstairs since the oldest was 3 and the youngest was 1. It really isn't an issue. Never had a problem hearing them in the night. Our house only has one bathroom which is downstairs. Again, no issue. Although I'm sure half of mumsnet will be horrified at the thought.

Not unreasonable at all, one of my childhood best friends was 1 of 5 kids and her bedroom was downstairs from when she was 12/13 I think. She was the second oldest so it made sense for her younger siblings to be on the same floor as their parents.

Both my girls have downstairs rooms. It's absolutely fine. It's one flight of stairs, no big deal.

Could you split their existing room but make the top of the wall glass? So there is light coming through to the room without a window?

I think it is fine. I know someone who did this around that age with no issues. If your son isn't nervous about it then I would go with it. Boiler-wise, my son's bedroom used to have the boiler in it and tbh we didn't really think much about it! It did have a carbon monoxide detector.

Ive not rtht so not sure if this has already been mentioned but:

I wouldn’t put a teen downstairs as it’s too easy to sneak out/sneak someone in.

Any teen up for sneaking someone in or out can do it whether up or downstairs let me tell you 😂

We did exactly this. Ds1 was just turned 13 (a couple of weeks after his birthday) when he moved into a downstairs room so that all dc had their own.

There was a 'settling in' period for him where he seemed to start treating downstairs like his own one bed flat 😂We'd hear him wandering back into the lounge at midnight or getting a snack/drink after bedtime...something he'd never have bothered doing when he was upstairs! Plus there began to be a creep of stuff from his room into the lounge wheras previously it was stuff he'd kept in his room (one bed flat mentality again!). But it all settled down, we put rules in place and there have been no issues since (2 years later).

I think you should definitely do it, and 13 is fine to be downstairs. Or you move downstairs and your H can get over having his en suite.

I don’t think it sends a good message when two children are close in age and the other one is not, if one of the older kids has their own room and one has to share. Especially if the one getting their own room is the boy. Like to or not, we have to actively do things to get past the “boys are more important” message that has been handed down.

If you are having to do some alterations downstairs anyway, can you not change it around so you have a small en suite and/ or expand the loo to a bathroom? I think parents downstairs is the best idea as you will likely be staying up later and it saves the teens mucking around. But I also don't think a teenager downstairs is a big deal. It's definitely worth looking at a solution where everyone gets their own space

We turned our downstairs front room into a bedroom for eldest ds when he turned about 12 as they all wanted their own rooms ( 4 kids ). It has worked well and then as the kids got older, ds and his gf who lived with us for a while whilst they saved up to move out together have used it. It is now spare and we're not sure what to do with it although I think we will keep it as a bedroom as i use it when dh snores or for guests. I never really worried about ds being on a different level to us.

@Alreadyinmypjs people are very rarely broken into in the middle of the night. But obviously not impossible. A friend of my daughter has a room downstairs and it works great for them. I think the 13 and 11 year old are old enough to go without a play room now.

We were a big family in a small house and the eldest slept in a downstairs room. It became a right of passage in our house, when the eldest moved out the next one got 'the room'. Sounds like an ideal solution to me, especially as your elder dd will want more privacy as she enters her teens.

We are in a three story, one room is on the middle floor, so not totally down stairs but below us in the master bedroom. When we moved in the kids were younger and we had it as play room and both had a small room on top floor with us. Once DS went to high school he took the the room on the middle floor and DD had a bedroom and a toy room on the top floor. Now she’s also at high school she has a bedroom and dressing room / study. Never had any issues have DS below us at all. We do have alarms on the front door that beep on the top floor if the front door is opened but this was always there before we moved DS.

Lots of properties have bedrooms on the ground floor (ground floor flats, bungalows, older houses and converted houses etc). If the concern is purely safely, then why don’t you spend some money on improving home security?

Bad parent here. Mine went in the downstairs rooms at 4 and 6. Since then pretty much everyone has had a downstairs room at some point. 16 years and it’s all been fine.

The only one to sneak out did it when in an upstairs room.

I grew up in a bungalow, so all downstairs rooms. No problem at all. We lived in a converted bungalow (our last house), and my teen stepson was fine in there for a fair few years. I think he rather liked the privacy.

If you are concerned that she's still a bit young to sleep downstairs alone it might make more sense to move your son down there and give her his room.

Personally, at 11 I think it's fine. Loads of houses are three storey anyway and not everyone is on the same level as all their DC.

I have a friend who has three children and all three have been in downstairs bedrooms since they were tots. The master bedroom was upstairs. There didn't ever appear to be an issue.