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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To turn downstairs room into a bedroom for 1 child

73 replies

Alreadyinmypjs · 28/03/2024 19:39

Name changed in case this is outing

We live in a 3 bed house and have 3 children, ds(13), dd1(11) and dd2(7). All bedrooms are a good size and the girls share. This has worked well so far, everyone happy. However dd1 would really love her own room. She's at an age where she just wants more privacy than her sister gives her. They are very close and she's so good with her but she always been content in her own company and now actively craves alone time

Their current room isn't able to be divided, its long but not very deep and the only way of splitting it would mean one person wouldn't have a window. I know there are set ups with bunk beds you can do to split a room but they don't want bunk beds. Ds's room can't be split but we do have a playroom downstairs that's a great size. I did suggest us taking that and give dd1 our room but we have an en suite so hubby doesn't want to do that. Ds is happy to have that as his room but this makes me nervy for some reason, having him on a different floor to us. Is that ridiculous? I think my worry is, should someone break in, it would be him they disturb.

So what do you think, would you be comfortable with this?

OP posts:
Choccyp1g · 28/03/2024 20:17

Have you considered having the downstairs room yourself?

CutthroatDruTheViolent · 28/03/2024 20:21

Choccyp1g · 28/03/2024 20:17

Have you considered having the downstairs room yourself?

She does address that in the OP if you go back.

@Alreadyinmypjs Personally I think you need to just put your fears to the back of your mind, they're irrational. Let one of the children have the room as a bedroom.

Topofthemountain · 28/03/2024 20:21

MyOtherCarisAVauxhallZafira · 28/03/2024 20:12

I'd be thinking about it the other way as he gets a bit older, sneaking out or friends in etc (caveat I work in the justice system it skews my view of humanity). That could be easily solved with an alarm system with door contacts that he doesn't know the code to and/or a ring type doorbell

Thankfully my eldest is my angel child.

I may need to review my security arrangements when my youngest hits teenagehood and beyond. 🤦As in like this:

Alreadyinmypjs · 28/03/2024 20:22

@Choccyp1g Yes I'd be happy with that but our current room has an en suite so dh not keen. Couldn't afford to add an ensuite to the downstairs room either

OP posts:
Alreadyinmypjs · 28/03/2024 20:23

@CutthroatDruTheViolent To he honest you are probably right. I think we'll get it into a proper room first with its own entrance then let him try for a while, see if he gets on ok

OP posts:
Alreadyinmypjs · 28/03/2024 20:25

@MyOtherCarisAVauxhallZafira My dh said it would work great when he's 18 and out with friends for this reason. I'd not be overly concerned now though with him sneaking off, he's a pretty good kid. I agree with @Topofthemountain though, if it was my youngest....

OP posts:
Rattai · 28/03/2024 20:35

What room is above the play room?? I wouldn't want my bedroom above my son ....

ThinWomansBrain · 28/03/2024 20:39

The house we moved to when I was 11 was over three floors, I chose a room on the top floor, the only one that slept up there.

Yellowbananasarebetterthangreen · 28/03/2024 20:39

I wouldnt do this. I would worry about open windows in the summer......... we used to live in a ground floor flat and in the summer ugh - so nervy about having the windows open (And that was with us being adults!)
Plus....... well I just wouldnt tbh. Ok sharing can be a pain but Id figure out a way that somehow everyone can be happy without having anyone sleeping downstairs. Could they all sleep upstairs but somehow carve out personal spaces in the playroom?

PotatoPudding · 28/03/2024 20:47

As long as there was another shower in the house, I wouldn’t be bothered about giving up the en suite.

exLtEveDallas · 28/03/2024 20:58

DD moved downstairs when she was 13. She didn't need to, she wanted to. It's been fine. She's never worried about being down there, and the only issue I had (forgetting to close her curtains) was solved with some decorative window film.

Eventually, once she's properly left home, DH and I will move down there so we don't have to battle the stairs in our very old age. But that will be some way off!

PrimalLass · 28/03/2024 20:58

It will be absolutely fine.

UnbeatenMum · 28/03/2024 21:01

I'm not sure which voting option means which but I'd be fine with this for my 13yo.

pinksquash13 · 28/03/2024 21:04

I had a downstairs room separate from parents and siblings from around age 6 and mostly liked it. The hardest bit was actually my dad having TV too loud when I wanted to sleep but that was teenage years. You could have a noise only baby monitor in there for reassurance in the beginning. I'd also make the car keys easily available in the hall so if someone did break in they wouldn't go searching in rooms. The risk of this is likely incredibly low though.

Ponderingwindow · 28/03/2024 21:10

It’s ok for a teenager to sleep on a different floor. Move the bedrooms.

RandomButtons · 28/03/2024 21:13

At 13 yes I’d happily let him go downstairs- it sounds like the best solution for you. If you’re concerned about safety get a good burglar alarm system. You can have ones that trigger if windows open. Ring doorbell if you’re concerned he’s sneaking out at night (to be brutally honest any teenager that does that will do it anyway from an upstairs bedroom).

Sletty · 28/03/2024 21:19

We did exactly this and our son absolutely loved being downstairs. He could play his Xbox in peace without the girls blasting music and doing dances upstairs. Absolutely no issues and was only a positive for our family tbh.

BuffaloCauliflower · 28/03/2024 21:25

@Alreadyinmypjs yes you did, but I had a curtain wall up for privacy. It was a small house and we did the best we could, but it was fine 🙂

RobinBobbin · 28/03/2024 21:28

We did this with a teen.

The night setting of the intruder alarm was reprogrammed to exclude the 'bedroom', stairs, corridor and downstairs loo so they could move around freely. External doors and all other rooms were still alarmed as before.

Eastie77Returns · 28/03/2024 21:34

I had the room on the lower floor. Not actually the ground floor but my bedroom was on landing facing the front door and the first one anyone would see when entering the house. I was in there on my own from the age of 10. I was really quite scared but my parents were dismissive and told me it was fine. This was despite the fact we lived in an extremely high crime area where night time break-ins were common and our front door had a flimsy lock!

Have to say that by the time I was 16/17 I loved the room’s location as I was able to sneak in and out of the house without anyone realising.

dottiedodah · 28/03/2024 21:39

Friends of ours had this arrangement for their DD around similar age .worked well no issues

PansyOatZebra · 28/03/2024 21:40

I grew up in a converted bungalow. Me and my brother downstairs, parents upstairs. It worked fine. Think this was from age 7ish. I actually liked it a lot in my teenage years being on a different floor.

Beamur · 28/03/2024 21:45

Our bedroom are over 2 floors and teen DSD had the room on the lower floor. It's DD's room now as it's bigger than her old room. They both felt safe.

Choccyp1g · 28/03/2024 22:15

Alreadyinmypjs · 28/03/2024 20:22

@Choccyp1g Yes I'd be happy with that but our current room has an en suite so dh not keen. Couldn't afford to add an ensuite to the downstairs room either

Good point, I'd never want to give up my own ensuite. Sorry for not reading OP properly, I hate it when other people don't.

WaitingForMojo · 28/03/2024 22:15

My ds had the downstairs room from age 8!