AIBU for getting upset over comments about my post partum body?

[blueyavocado]

I was 52kg prior to pregnancy , I was 68kg a week before giving birth and 4weeks later I'm 60kg.
I've said a lot about my MIL on here but she was making comments during my pregnancy about my weight gain and after she's pinched my thighs and told me I need to 'get rid of this' and also slapped her own thighs and told me I need to get active to get rid of it.
Am I unreasonable for being deeply upset?

You are NOT being unreasonable. She sounds awful and quite apart from anything else she needs to stop assaulting you by pinching your thighs.

Repeat after me....

"Fuck off you cheeky bitch!"

That should sort it!

No you're not unreasonable at all. If anyone had said anything like that to me after I had my little one I'd have swiftly told them to fuck off with a big smile on my face. I mean really, 60kg is like 9st 4 so don't see how you can look terrible at all. Tell your mil to keep her shitty comments to herself and keep all your focus and energy for your little one. Congratulations btw😊💐

It's unreasonable for anyone to be making comments about a postpartum woman's body.
You've grown a human and brought them into the world. You don't need to be dealing with bitchy comments about your body and your DP should be tackling his mother about it in my opinion.

Mil told me I needed to hurry get rid of baby weight. I was in size 8 jeans 2 weeks pp. She was nuts.

Even if I had been size 18 was none of her business.. Make sure you reply op. Don't be a doormat. She isn't worrying about your feelings..

No absolutely you’re not being unreasonable!! Ffs how would she like it if you pointed out her wrinkles ? Just awful 60kg is bugger all and so what even it it was 100kg it’s none of her business. Like previous poster has said she needs to stop touching you without your permission. As hard as it is you need to set boundaries with her and tell her this is completely unacceptable and she needs to stop, otherwise she’s just going to think she can bully you with impunity. So sorry you’ve got this horrible behaviour going on.

Don't get upset, get mad. If she so much as lays a finger on you, slap it away.

Good idea 👍

AHH perfect excuse, next time she moans she isn't seeing her grandbaby enough you can tell her you are too busy out hiking to work those inches off everytime

When I brought my baby home, my FIL asked me if I was ‘sure there wasn’t still one in there’. I had literally birthed this child within the last 24 hours.

You need to feel deeply sorry for this woman, who has internalised decades of misogynistic bullshit about how a woman's body is "meant" to look. Next time she does it, say you pity her and explain why shitty societal expectations have totally screwed with her sense of what is normal and healthy.

OMG YANBU at all. YABU for not throwing her out of the house. If you can't be polite to me, you can't be in my house. I'm old enough and secure enough to not give a fuck about a mean old woman thinking I'm precious or something. How mean. I have started being quite direct with people now.

I'm pregnant and HATE HATE HATE how everyone thinks it's ok to comment on my body. I have fuckig random men (husbands of friends) commenting on how big I'm getting. People at work touching my bump. Aunties telling me to be careful about how much I'm eating. It's like once you're a mum you're fair game. You're not a person with feelings anymore. And surely your value as woman is contingent on how fat you are.

What's your husband doing in all this? He needs to be telling his vindictive mother to fuck off stop it.

Tell her once if she touches you again you'll defend yourself physically, and do it. Nasty woman.

What does your DP/DH say when his Mother body-shames you? He should be reading her the riot act and telling her to apologise.

My MIL is absolutely obsessed with other womens weight. I find it quite sad to be honest. Interesting people with interesting things to say do not feel the need to comment on the size and shape of other people's bodies.

“Ffs how would she like it if you pointed out her wrinkles ?”

Responding to misogynistic thinking with the same, and a dose of ageism on top for good measure! Well done! 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻 🙄

Give her double chin/jowl flub/wattle neck/whatever a good hard pinch and tell her cosmetic surgery will fix that right up.
Am joking of course, no need to sink to her level. A good cold, hard stare without saying a work until the silence stretches out uncomfortably long should do it.

I’m afraid I would tell her to fuck off. Silly, shallow woman.

Can't believe she pinched your thigh, especially right after giving birth. Weight gain is necessary to healthily grow a baby. Guess she's too dumb to realize that.

Honestly, I think I would have gone ballistic at that! How awful! She is not right in the head!

YABU because you're clearly a slim person so why would you give this nutcase any headspace at all?!

I'm a similar weight and My DM was sending me "how to lose the baby weight" videos when I was 4 months pregnant. So I hadn't even started putting weight on really at that stage. I just ignored her. Some people just aren't worth engaging with.

When I was 47 A woman in her late 60’s (at a guess) I’d never met before asked me if I was having a baby, in front of a load of colleagues at an event. The awkward silence was deafening.

I took her to one side and told her that someone of her advanced age should know better than to make remarks about someone’s body. I don’t care if that was misogynistic.

I didn’t go back to the group, I slipped out and spent the rest of the day crying in my hotel room.

That’s absolutely disgusting. I would have gone nc over that, I swear.

I don't really understand why you're taking this to heart at all. You are FOUR WEEKS post partum. You're slimmer than I've ever been as an adult. You were slim before you had your baby, now you're a bit bigger... the same as millions and millions of women before you. You might lose weight again, in time. You might not. You're still a healthy weight, so no big deal either way.

Tell her to fuck off.

If she comments again (and in your house) simply say leave my house. If out or at hers simply state I'm leaving.
Lay down the line now otherwise she will push on everything including your child.

Your weight is healthy.

I'd like to slap her for you. What an awful thing to say to anyone, let alone someone that has just had a baby 4 bloody weeks ago. People like to tell you breastfeeding will melt the fat off, but it's the opposite really. Your body hangs on to more fat to make sure it has sufficient stores for milk production. I'm chasing a 4 year old and caring for a 3 month old everyday and I'm still a bit of a puffy toad so it's not about being active.