about colleagues always going on about me getting pregnant ….. at age 48?

[headache]

Every bloody week there’s some comment about me getting pregnant or being pregnant. This week it was about DH and I going away on holiday by ourselves for the first time in 20 years “oh I bet you come back pregnant!” said a colleague. To which I replied very very unlikely at my age (almost 49). “Oh you never know”.

Last week I said I had a dodgy stomach, apparently that was me being pregnant too FFS. I’m peri menopausal and having a bloody hard time over it, I’ve had 4 DC the youngest of which is 14, I have shown no interest in having a baby (DH had a vasectomy after no4 was born) despite all this I keep getting told I’m flaming pregnant. Do you think they will stop when I’m 55?

But she isn’t. She has children. They know this. A formal complaint would be wildly over the top. Why is everyone so angsty now?

It's a bit rude. I find it rude when people say that I may have another ( and I'm only 41) . I find the people who comment about me having another one are the ones who comment about people not having more kids than they can cope with.

What a weird thing to do. Is it more than one person doing it? I'd be tempted to start hinting that the woman in her fifties might have early onset dementia...

I would't complain formally, no. I would find a cutting retort.I generally don;t comment on children, existing or not. It's a minefield. I just make non-controversial small talk about the weather etc to colleagues.

I agree with pps.
This is just weird.
I mean, it's just not a normal thing for one person to keep saying, let alone colleagues.
It seems a little hard to believe.

Have you tried replying with a question such as "Why would you think that?"

I mean, I would never say anything like it myself, but there is an element of logic, or it not being atypical if someone had got married in the previous year and was often talking about starting a family or something, but that clearly isn't you.

Too weird for words.

I can only assume they're all on a wind-up.

I can believe it, OP. When I joined a new team there was a group of women who loved gossiping about who in the organisation or department might get pregnant next and because I was mid-30s, they liked to do the “tick tock” jokes at me.

I eventually lost my rag and told them I’d had a cancer scare and a total hysterectomy so my clock had run out, at which point it was all, “oh but how could we have knowwwwn, we didn’t meeeeeean to be insensitive”. They still do it now whenever a new woman joins the team/department so they haven’t learned.

Some people genuinely can’t think of anything more fun or exciting to discuss than pregnancy and babies, sadly.

Maybe they see that it is getting to you. Time for a new tactic, try the “ you’re probably right” or “could be” and then change the subject to anyway what are you having for lunch or something like that.

I can believe it, OP. When I joined a new team there was a group of women who loved gossiping about who in the organisation or department might get pregnant next and because I was mid-30s, they liked to do the “tick tock” jokes at me.

Yes, but, whereas that was clearly very wrong of them, it is believable because you were in your 30s. The OP is 48 and already has 4 dc, the youngest of whom is 14. Which makes it all somewhat unlikely.

Like I said would you say it to someone going on holiday? Also last week when I said I felt I had a dodgy stomach?

I don’t get angry or annoyed with the comments just bemused I did say today “it’d be a miracle” or “don’t be bloody stupid” can’t remember which like I said I get them a lot. I’ve also had “always time for another” and “you not feeling broody” too

Maybe they’re MNetters - there are fairly frequent threads on here from women in that exact position who are thinking about a last stop baby!

Yes, this.

Perhaps you look youthfully radiant :)

They are probably just making (overly personal) small talk.

People are weird when you have more than average amounts of children. I absolutely HATE telling people how many children I have.
It's normally a passing question with an expected answer from someone my age (early 40s). Boy and a girl, 10 and 7. and move on.
More often than not I get a snarky comment when I say I have five (yes we have a television, yes I know what causes it, no I'm not Catholic, yes all with the same person, yes, five is a lot of kids).

So from my personal experience that's a factor. Wouldn't be a topic if you had zero or one kids.

Huh, not just childfree and childless women that get this then!!

I am also 48, childfree by choice and would find this VERY wearing. And after the first couple of times, I’d really struggle with being polite in my responses, so well done you OP

That is really odd.

Do they maybe think you’re much younger? Or are they sneering at you and trying to wind you up?

And this is where the offence culture takes us sadly. Forming nothing more than polite and distanced relationships with others, before posting on here about being lonely, having no friends or ‘disliking people’. It’s a real shame, things used to be a laugh.

It's weird.

However my former colleague has just had her first at 48 (not ivf) so it's perfectly possible.

I have worked in diverse environments where most of my colleagues have been around the age of dating, marrying, having babies... Not once there has been a heightened interest in anyone's fertility.

These comments seem rather odd, to the point I can't quite picture how it comes about. Maybe it's all become a bit too familiar for a work place.

My husband's had the snip, so it's not happening even if i wanted it to - and i don't - so that's that!

Please would you all stop with the getting pregnant stuff?

Meant to ask - how many of you are there in this place and how many of them are doing this weird commenting?

I still get comments like this from some people. I'm 54.

The other “small talk” comment was about having a baby with ginger hair, “oh it has to be on both sides of the family” “I told my husband we could have a ginger child”

To which I replied “yes I know I have a ginger child and shes absolutely stunning!”

Maybe I will have more “ginger” children peri menopausal with a vasectomy DH 😂

Heh, I do have friends and don't dislike people. And I do also talk about books, travel, TV shows and so on.

I don't comment on children or husbands/wives though. It's a sensitive topic for many.

OP, maybe you look phenomenally young!