To ask to stop your children ‘play’ screaming?

[JediKnightingale]

I live in a cul de sac where we have around six families with small children (weirdly, all girls - not relevant I know) that range from ages 2 - 7. They all walk to school together with parents and at home time they congregate in the middle of the close. Mums chatting and the entire gaggle of tiny noise machines run around screaming for absolutely no reason for about 30/45 mins depending on the weather. During the holidays or at weekends they can be out there for hours at a time.

I and quite a few others work from home in our road - my home office is in the front part of my house and I literally cannot take or make phone calls due to the racket. Normal play noise is absolutely fine but WHY do parents put up with this stupid screaming? When my 3 were small I would never have allowed it but it doesn’t seem to even register with these parents.

Do you let your children play scream and if so would you be put out if you were asked (nicely) if they could play WITHOUT THE SCREAMS?

It makes people look like a bad parent only to a certain category of BRITISH people. Many other cultures are less stuffy and dont have “children should be seen and not heard” culture. Are they all wrong and the only way is a British middle class way? Britain isn’t known for producing happy people, it is known for producing reserved “stiff upper lip” people which actually isn’t psychologically healthy.

What a load of bollocks. Most people like hearing children playing normally.
Just being able to scream blue murder and make as much noise as they like is not normal. Children are part of the community and therefore have to act that way too.
It’s like parents who left their children run amok in restaurants because ‘they’re enjoying themselves’ and spoiling it for everyone.

There’s always a poster that is determined that “other” children frolic and scream unabashed while their parents look on beaming, while all British children live a life akin to a Dickensian orphan.

Which countries are these? Who says they are healthier? What’s the measure of healthy anyway?

I may be British but I am certainly not middle class or have a stiff upper lip

But yes I do judge bad parenting and that does include not being aware that there are other people trying to live their life, whether that’s working, sleeping because they have been on a night shift or just want to watch the tv

We are talking here about 30 MINUTES only. Surely it goes both ways. If people want their needs to be taken into account they need to be taking not only their needs into account too. Kids do need to run around, shout and let off steam a little (especially after school, for 30 mins for Christ sake)
it is unreasonable to demand constant quiet 24/7
live and let live

Honestly, there’s all this whining in society about how kids sit indoors on screens and now there’s whining about them playing outdoors. It’s a small proportion of your day and I don’t buy for a second you can’t make calls with the noise unless your house doesn’t have windows with glass in them.

Where are the childless people supposed to live?

OP states that it’s AT LEAST 30-45 minutes daily, with it going on for hours some days depending on the weather or time of year.
Nobody is complaining about normal play noises or chatting, it’s about whether screaming is necessary during play and whether it is anti-social or not.

Where has anyone said absolute quiet?

People do put up with chatting, playing, general sounds but screaming that is being talked about here is something very different.

If you think they are the same then you are obviously like the parents that are being discussed here

Oh God I can’t stand it…..my DF, DC’s Grandad did a lot of childcare for me before DC went to school and whilst he was so soft on comparison to how he was with me and my siblings…..the one thing which he drew a hard solid line on from day dot was play screaming! Thus DC does not do it!

It seems to continue into the teenage years as well used to live

All this "they're just playing blah blah" nonsense - do people really not get what is meant by "screaming"?
You know when at 3 am when you are woken by a blood curdling scream that you can't decide is the local foxes mating or a woman being murdered - it's that sound.
For (often) hours on end. That is NOT playing or kids being kids.
It's anti social shit.
Please note I do not include children who have SEN and can't help it - but all other children need to shut up and stop doing that noise.

The OP complains about 30 minutes. It is ridiculous.

Kids should be able to let off steam outside, running, calling out, laughing, the odd shriek. Screaming shouldn’t be allowed- it’s an extra level that isn’t ever necessary. I was never allowed to do it, and none of the children I’ve ever looked after have been allowed to, either. They need to be encouraged to think about the people in their houses and gardens nearby, and if it’s a nice noise for them to have to listen to- the more they can be encouraged to think about others, the nicer the world could be.

Ive never heard blood curling screaming from children and don’t see any difference between “normal shouting” which is apparently ok and “screaming”
which is apparently not. What is this imaginary screaming?

When I was young, if we behaved in a boisterous way when playing, or heaven forbid, screaming, we would be told that playing in groups 'overexcites' us, and playdates, visitors to our house with dcs would be stopped for months.

It was not framed as a punishment. It was framed as 'it is bad to get overexcited' and 'we are not mature enough to play properly'.

I hate seeing others screaming and getting away with it. God forbid, if any of them got hurted I would ignore, as they are screaming anyway!!

@DodoTired then you are lucky.
I live next to a primary school and a play area.
It is a regular noise.
Thankfully the school staff tell them to stop.
When it's the play area and parents are in charge - they don't tell them to stop.
It is seriously like the sound of someone being murdered on a loop for sometimes hours.

CagneyAndLazy · Yesterday 16:05
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Get your flame suit on, OP!”

Why? There is no reason why children have to scream when they’re playing. Ours didn’t, was never an issue 🤷‍♀️

I am not the lazy parent described here, only because I don’t think something is necessary but im too lazy to do it. I just
do not think children should be constantly policed and hushed, because it is unhealthy. I don’t allow constant noise (nor any non SEN children have the NEED to shout and make noise all the time) but I certainly am not going to prohibit ALL screaming/shouting outside ALL of the time. And yes I don’t care if someone doesn’t like it. It is their problem which should be raised with a therapist. There are nutter parents who don’t let their kids to run around even inside their homes and in the garden, EVER, this is just insane to me - these should seek help instead of inflicting their trauma and issues on their own kids and certainly on other people

@DodoTired the difference between shouting and screaming....
Shouting =
Kids playing football -
"Get the ball, get the ball"
"Kick it"
"Goooooooaaaaaal"
"Noooooo".
Screaming =
Child standing in the middle of the play area and for no apparent reason goes -
"Arrrrrrrrrrrrrgh" at volume 100.

You've obviously never been exposed to it. That doesn't mean it's imaginary though, just that you're lucky.

If you heard it, you would definitely know the difference. It's a high pitched screaming that used to only be used when someone was in pain or distress.

Now it seems to be a regular part of childhood. And I'm not talking about children with SEN.

I live literally opposite a school. And work in high pressured job often from home. And I don’t know what you are talking about.

now even at playgrounds children’s noise is not ok? Seriously? 🤣🤣🤣

I have two young children so am constantly at playgrounds and live opposite a school. I do not know what you are talking about. I think you are exaggerating to make a point.

Absolutely this.

It just simply wasn't allowed.

This is very sad childhood, nothing to brag about.
certainly explains your aversion but it is result of psychological trauma and not normal upbringing

@DodoTired children's noise is fine.
In fact I love listening to the children playing. The nursery class are outside almost all day and the sounds of their play, chatting and singing is a beautiful sound.
It's the blood curdling screaming I don't want to hear.