To ask to stop your children ‘play’ screaming?

[JediKnightingale]

I live in a cul de sac where we have around six families with small children (weirdly, all girls - not relevant I know) that range from ages 2 - 7. They all walk to school together with parents and at home time they congregate in the middle of the close. Mums chatting and the entire gaggle of tiny noise machines run around screaming for absolutely no reason for about 30/45 mins depending on the weather. During the holidays or at weekends they can be out there for hours at a time.

I and quite a few others work from home in our road - my home office is in the front part of my house and I literally cannot take or make phone calls due to the racket. Normal play noise is absolutely fine but WHY do parents put up with this stupid screaming? When my 3 were small I would never have allowed it but it doesn’t seem to even register with these parents.

Do you let your children play scream and if so would you be put out if you were asked (nicely) if they could play WITHOUT THE SCREAMS?

You’re comparing apples to oranges. OP is complaining about multiple children, screaming outside of her house daily, for a minimum of 30 mins, and sometimes hours, with no acknowledgment by their parents that there might be other people in the vicinity. I think she’s described the issue very clearly.

She isn’t talking about children never being allowed to play or make noise. That’s a false equivalence.

@DodoTired As someone who actually was abused by her parents, I find your suggestion that not being allowed to scream causes psychological trauma really offensive.

What cultures ok unnecessary screaming? In countries were danger exists in all forms, children are told to absolutely keep their voice down unless there is danger.

I was walking my GC home from school, going past a close. The noise was ridiculous. Not once were the children told to lower their voices. Unless children are taught to behave, they don't know how to. As for they aren't little for long. When you've had them screaming from 2 and they are still going at six and Mum is on her next one, it's at least twelve years. The same children are causing issues with voice volume wherever they go and it's another job put on school/after school clubs.

Literally never happened to me 🤷‍♀️
(with small caveat below)
How often did this happen to you? Like, precisely how many times have you seen this scenario? And are you 100% sure it is not SEN child- how?

caveat - I certainly have seen 2 year olds screaming like that because they don’t have the language to express their frustration but OP is talking about school aged children and hopefully even mumsnet curmudgeons understand that you can’t expect 2 year old never to
scream

I am sorry you were abused by your parents and I wish you well. However, it doesn’t mean that other behaviours – perhaps less bad that what you experienced – are not psychologically damaging/do not cause psychological trauma. an expression “I find this offensive” is not a trump card

@DodoTired how many times?
Pretty much daily in summer. Thankfully not so much this time of year.

@DodoTired oh and I am talking about Primary age children. Not just the Nursery/Reception little ones - but the big 9/10/11 year olds.
95% of the time it's the girls.

Raising kids to be considerate of others by (kindly and firmly) teaching them not to scream for hours is not, and will never be, abuse.

I've never understood why children do it. What fun are they getting out of it? Screaming would never have been allowed when I was a child. I think my parents would have been absolutely agog if I'd screamed for no good reason. We played out in the streets and in each other's gardens and there was certainly shouting/calling out to each other here and there. But not the sustained screaming I hear nowadays from children.

It is absolutely mostly girls and I just don't understand where it comes from. I see it from young girls of only 4 years old. They just scream at each other. Not actual words, just shrieking. It's completely bizarre and the only thing stranger about it is the parents not being in the slightest bit bothered.

Letting them screech and scream is a guaranteed way to raise a child who isn't liked by others.

Screaming children normally means sloppy, selfish parents.
There is no reasoning with the parents, there just isn't enough intelligence present.

Depends on method of teaching 🙄

but generally we are not talking about hours on end; and expressing natural behaviours doesn’t mean someone will grow inconsiderate of others

so far mainly who were hushed in childhood are exhibiting inconsiderate behaviours here

But that very high-pitched screaming isn’t ‘harmless’ or ordinary excitable play-noise.

Suddenly the OPs original post has turned, how typical of MN!
It is not a case of people not wanting to hear kids, the "seen but not heard" comment, nor is it a case of not liking hearing children playing. I love hearing children laughing and playing.
It's about the unnecessary, continual screaming of mainly girls, (older girls, in my experience, from 7 onwards) that is the issue here!
The posters on here, commenting that this behaviour is being exaggerated or that they've never heard it, are obviously deaf, live in a field or are lucky enough to have escaped it!
Fuck all to do with middle classes, the Tories or anyone else, other than the parents lacking in the basic awareness that their children need to be told they don't need to scream to play normally!

Absolutely. As evidenced on this thread….

I wish our neighbours would stop one of their kids screaming when playing outside
Don't have a issue with normal play noise, just the screaming!

Playing out
Chatting
Giggling
All fine
Screaming..... no way.

So you genuinely had the scenario you described daily: a child is just standing screaming in the middle of the playground, for no reason, from 0 to 100? Really? Always a different non SEN child and ALMOST DAILY?

I’m sorry but I don’t believe you. You are what is called unreliable narrator (so is most likely the OP) who is describing normal noise as ‘blood curling screaming’

You didn’t read the OP did you?

What does it have to do with childlessness?

i didn’t have children when I lived two floors above a nursery in the City and I haven’t had any issues with screaming children.

people who cannot stand the noise children make should certainly live somewhere where there are less children or none at all. In senior accommodation for example 🤣 certainly not by a school, playground or green where children gather, and not in family area

Depends on method of teaching 🙄

Yes, that's why I included (kindly and firmly).

expressing natural behaviours doesn’t mean someone will grow inconsiderate of others

There is a very big difference between a toddler screaming and an 11 or 12 year old screaming. The former is natural and with teaching, will stop. The 11 or 12 year old is likely to have internalised the message that only their needs matter and that they take precedence over everybody else's wishes. They are likely to take that message into adulthood, and show inconsideration in other ways.

In addition to you thinking that raising children appropriately is abuse, I now see that you don't actually believe that any kids beyond toddler-age ever scream, and that all of us saying we've experienced this are lying. I'll bow out.

@DodoTired yes unfortunately it is true.

You said:

There is (should be) noone in residential area except parents, kids and some curmudgeons pensioners

That excludes non-pensioners who aren't parents. I was curious as to where you thought they should be if not in a residential area.

To an extent I agree, but I work from home because of a disability. So you can't really dictate that as you don't know people's circumstances. It's like saying "basketball should only be played on basketball courts".

I also hate this op and I have two small dcs (one with SEN). I don't let them scream outside - they are told they will have to come indoors if they are too noisy as it disturbs rhe neighbours who wfh (they've never complained but I know how the sound carries in our gardens).

It is common in secondary schools too I'm afraid (I have worked in three now and it is the same in all of them). It is absolutely more common in the girls, but the boys sometimes do it too and it's even worse. The least screamy school I have worked in was all girls, funnily enough. I firmly ask them to be quiet and / or to leave the corridor if they do it at school.

I would rather see work spaces made easily accessible to staff with a disability than create an expectation that children who live in a cul de sac should play indoors or play quietly because adults working from home want it to be as quiet as an adult work space.