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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask to stop your children ‘play’ screaming?

392 replies

JediKnightingale · 27/03/2024 16:03

I live in a cul de sac where we have around six families with small children (weirdly, all girls - not relevant I know) that range from ages 2 - 7. They all walk to school together with parents and at home time they congregate in the middle of the close. Mums chatting and the entire gaggle of tiny noise machines run around screaming for absolutely no reason for about 30/45 mins depending on the weather. During the holidays or at weekends they can be out there for hours at a time.

I and quite a few others work from home in our road - my home office is in the front part of my house and I literally cannot take or make phone calls due to the racket. Normal play noise is absolutely fine but WHY do parents put up with this stupid screaming? When my 3 were small I would never have allowed it but it doesn’t seem to even register with these parents.

Do you let your children play scream and if so would you be put out if you were asked (nicely) if they could play WITHOUT THE SCREAMS?

OP posts:
LordPercyPercy · 27/03/2024 17:46

Because I've had to learn to zone out the screaming of the group of children that play near my house, if something genuinely bad happened and they screamed I'd be zoning that out too.

redfacebigdisgrace · 27/03/2024 17:48

I would go out and tell them to stop screaming.

Meadowfinch · 27/03/2024 17:51

Move to a no-cul-de-sac location. Problem solved instantly.

Elvis1956 · 27/03/2024 17:54

On a more serious note. There was an incident at our local comprehensive school yesterday, where the main gate wasn't open at the end of the day. The kids still continued to walk towards it, squashing some at the front. There were screams, but as the kids have heard screams all their lives the stupid lemmings continued to push.
In my day at school any scream brought the playground to a halt and if it wasn't a serious matter the screamer was told off.

Naturally, the parents are blaming the school for not opening that gate, which is 12ft tall and was clearly closed. Other gates were available.

BotterMon · 27/03/2024 17:54

Does my head in. Neighbours had twin girls - they screamed; moved and new neighbours have one boy and one girl. The girl screams. I'm one of 3 girls - we did not scream.

DH and I tell her to stop shrieking.

TinkerTiger · 27/03/2024 17:55

Oh god children screaming in a soft play is hell on earth and I always tell the ones in my care to stop if they do.

I know that on the street/park technically means 'outside voices' but I've also told mine to stop screaming in the park, because it's annoying and I don't want to hear it 😂

I don't think WFH has anything to do with it, while it is very annoying, you sadly can't control what others let their children do. No different to building noise, unless it's happening early in the morning or late at night I'd just try my best to ignore it.

On that note, in the summer holidays the neighbour's children used to start screaming on the trampoline right as I'd put the little one down for a nap, but he had white noise and it didn't disturb him.

Lifebeganat50 · 27/03/2024 17:58

No screamers in my house-can’t abide it and wouldn’t have tolerated it-I have hearing which is beyond sensitive and actually find it painful

fitzwilliamdarcy · 27/03/2024 17:59

Parenting styles have changed, now it’s all about the kids and everyone else can get stuffed.

I fully believe that one day a kid will need help and nobody will react because screaming is now the norm everybloodywhere.

(Live on an estate with screamers. Absolutely does my head in.)

hellycotta · 27/03/2024 18:01

My parents just wouldn't have accepted screaming, I'm the same. Children can easily play without screaming, if they're not told to stop it, it becomes a habit for them

Pepsiisbetterthancoke · 27/03/2024 18:02

Fuck me she isn’t asking for complete silence because she is wfh. She is asking for the twatty mums (a few of which have appeared on this thread) to be aware that there is a world outside of their precious children and to be considerate of neighbours

I can guarantee that the same parents would be complaining if the adult members of the street were noisy so why do children get away with it

Tomorrowillbeachicken · 27/03/2024 18:04

You could try and soundproof your ‘office’?

maddiemookins16mum · 27/03/2024 18:05

All these saying it’s fine will be the ones letting their wains scream.

YANBU Op.

Gorgonemilezola · 27/03/2024 18:06

Bit of playing noise - absolutely fine. High pitched screaming - not fine. And unnecessary.

ZippyZappyZoo · 27/03/2024 18:07

Haha are you me? My neighbours kids scream allllll the live long day in the garden. Summer is miserable, can’t have your windows open let alone be outside, they’re playing so we feel like we can’t say anything but it’s the worst noise ever.

we also have young children but if they scream we ask them to respect the neighbours.

TinyYellow · 27/03/2024 18:08

It is relevant that they are girls because this is something that girls mostly do. Not exclusively, but definitely mostly and it’s very annoying.

But they are at home and children’s play at home is more normal than working at home. I wouldn’t be prepared to curtail my children’s play because you’ve decided to work from home. If you need to avoid noise that children make in or outside their own homes then go to the office.

SwordToFlamethrower · 27/03/2024 18:08

Let kids be kids!

SevenSeasOfRhye · 27/03/2024 18:10

Piercing screams give me a headache, children need to be taught that screaming is for emergencies only.

Pepsiisbetterthancoke · 27/03/2024 18:10

SwordToFlamethrower · 27/03/2024 18:08

Let kids be kids!

And let adults be adults in the summer when they are having bbq’s and parties in the garden when these kids that are being kids are trying to sleep

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 27/03/2024 18:12

Some of DS’s friends scream when they play (even at 10) and I agree it is annoying. Neither of mine (one of each sex) have every been screamers so I don’t know to what extent parents can train them out if it.

The only thing I would say is, in a domestic environment I don’t think people should be curtailing their normal lives because some people wfh. Wfh is a fairly new thing and its place in society is still really being thrashed out. And I say that as someone who works 60% from home. (It’s fecking constant building works and DIY that get me tbh, but I think that’s my issue)

Abouttimeforanamechange · 27/03/2024 18:13

But they are at home and children’s play at home is more normal than working at home. I wouldn’t be prepared to curtail my children’s play because you’ve decided to work from home. If you need to avoid noise that children make in or outside their own homes then go to the office.

What about people who are not wfh, but who just want to listen to music or the radio, or read or knit or talk to a friend on the phone, or even sleep because they work nights? Must they leave their homes in order to avoid the noise made by screaming children?

TinyYellow · 27/03/2024 18:16

Abouttimeforanamechange · 27/03/2024 18:13

But they are at home and children’s play at home is more normal than working at home. I wouldn’t be prepared to curtail my children’s play because you’ve decided to work from home. If you need to avoid noise that children make in or outside their own homes then go to the office.

What about people who are not wfh, but who just want to listen to music or the radio, or read or knit or talk to a friend on the phone, or even sleep because they work nights? Must they leave their homes in order to avoid the noise made by screaming children?

I’d understand them being irritated but it’s only half an hour to 45 minutes and most people make noise that is going to be annoying for their neighbours at some point.

hellycotta · 27/03/2024 18:17

SwordToFlamethrower · 27/03/2024 18:08

Let kids be kids!

Boys don't scream when they play - they are still kids.

Girls have learned this behaviour somewhere along the line and it needs stamping out.

Yerroblemom1923 · 27/03/2024 18:22

Screaming is totally unnecessary. Kids can play without screaming. I've no idea why parents let their kids do it - annoying. Think I'd have to say something along the lines of "could you please keep the noise down???? I'm trying to work/have a migraine"

AmyDudley · 27/03/2024 18:23

I live in a terrace, my next door neighbour has two little girls who play out in the garden a lot of the time, they often have friend over as well. They do not scream, they get excited and run about of course they are children, but they do not do that ridiculous shrieking, Because if they start any of that nonsense, their Mum tell them to stop it or they will have to come inside, so they've learnt not to do it.

It is actually quite easy to stop children doing it, you tell them to stop, you bring them in or make them sit quietly for five minutes every single time they do it.

It isn't natural for children to scream, we never did it as children. Children shout sometimes, they make a noise sometimes, but that shrieking/ scream thing is learned behaviour, and it can be unlearned.

Icanttellyouanything · 27/03/2024 18:23

HelloMiss · 27/03/2024 16:14

It's just excited children playing out

Get used to it. Summer and the holidays are looming, there's absolutely nothing you can do about it

It's not though. I can cope when they're having a water fight and screaming because someone has soaked them. That's normal play with normal screaming. It's happy sounds of excited children being happy. The screamers are another thing entirely. Four and a half hours was longest episode of screaming I had to endure last summer. About 8 girls aged 5 - 10 screaming into each other's faces for FOUR AND A HALF HOURS! I was ready to kill them. You can't ask them to keep it down because then the parents are screaming in your face for daring to have an opinion about their precious darlings right to express themselves. Please tell me you don't think this is either acceptable or normal.